I Had to Utilize First Right :(

thejennigirl · March 2009

This has been bothering me for almost a week now, so I decided tonight to file a case (or whatever it's called) with First Right.

https://www.firstright.org/

Short story is that the owner (and my friend) asked me to nurse Saxton in the batheroom at her store. I'm hurt and angered that she feels that that was okay. I'm speaking with her next week after I've had more time to calm down and prepare myself. I want her to realize that what she asked of me was not okay.

I contacted First Right, because they do statistics and research based off "cases" to help other nursing mothers.

Random strangers are one thing, but a friend's discrimination is horrible.

GladToBeMrs.SRS · March 2009

Wow. That sucks, hon. I'm sorry.

userdeleted · March 2009

That sucks

Did you say anything to her when she asked you to use the bathroom?

luvlieK · March 2009

(

goinggreengirl · March 2009

Wow, that's tough. I hope she understands and apologizes.

BerryBaby · March 2009

See, women like her are the reason other women feel ashamed to breastfeed which is the most natural thing. Makes me so angry and good for you for doing something about it.??

thejennigirl · March 2009

Rach03k:

That sucks

Did you say anything to her when she asked you to use the bathroom?

No, I didn't.

I was embarrassed and feeling extremely akward. She pulled me to the side and put me on the spot.

I'm quik to put strangers in their places, but friends are different. I don't do confrontation well with friends, because I am a friendship preserver.

babyluv617 · March 2009

That would bother me too. I would be crushed.

*blondiem* · March 2009

I am so sorry

(

hellomysunshine · March 2009

BerryBaby:
See, women like her are the reason other women feel ashamed to breastfeed which is the most natural thing. Makes me so angry and good for you for doing something about it.

^ My thoughts exactly.

thejennigirl · March 2009

BerryBaby:

See, women like her are the reason other women feel ashamed to breastfeed which is the most natural thing. Makes me so angry and good for you for doing something about it.

I'm wondering if SHE is the one uncomfortable, because her children hang in the crop area on Saturdays. If that's the case, she could have said that that is why, and to shoo them away when I feed Saxton.

OR

If it was a fellow store patron, and she's worried about her business.

Either way, she was wrong.

I'm especially upset, because she stood there and said "I support all that natural mothering stuff..."

userdeleted · March 2009

thejennigirl:
Rach03k:

That sucks

Did you say anything to her when she asked you to use the bathroom?

No, I didn't.

I was embarrassed and feeling extremely akward. She pulled me to the side and put me on the spot.

I'm quik to put strangers in their places, but friends are different. I don't do confrontation well with friends, because I am a friendship preserver.

I know what you mean, it's really hard when it's a friend. You can't just go off on them. I hope that your info helps and she realizes how rude that was when you do talk to her.

Maybe you'll find that she didn't even realize it bothered you? Seems like a lot of times people do stupid things like that because they aren't even aware it's an issue. Hopefully once she sees how "hot-button" it is to ask a mom to nurse in the bathroom she'll change her approach to this kind of thing.

thejennigirl · March 2009

Rach03k:
thejennigirl:
Rach03k:

That sucks

Did you say anything to her when she asked you to use the bathroom?

No, I didn't.

I was embarrassed and feeling extremely akward. She pulled me to the side and put me on the spot.

I'm quik to put strangers in their places, but friends are different. I don't do confrontation well with friends, because I am a friendship preserver.

I know what you mean, it's really hard when it's a friend. You can't just go off on them. I hope that your info helps and she realizes how rude that was when you do talk to her.

Maybe you'll find that she didn't even realize it bothered you? Seems like a lot of times people do stupid things like that because they aren't even aware it's an issue. Hopefully once she sees how "hot-button" it is to ask a mom to nurse in the bathroom she'll change her approach to this kind of thing.

I hope so too. She's a sweet person. I enjoy bantering w/ her while I crop. I enjoy giving her business my money, instead of big box stores.

I'm saddened by all this, and realized that for my anger and hurt to quit festering, I needed to deal with it. I already feel better having reported the discrimination.

*speedracer* · March 2009

i feel like the odd one out but i would confront the friend before reporting discrimination. i would want a friend to do the same if the situation was reversed. she probably doesn't realize the full scope of what she asked you to do, and as a friend, you should have told her.

thejennigirl · March 2009

*speedracer*:
i feel like the odd one out but i would confront the friend before reporting discrimination. i would want a friend to do the same if the situation was reversed. she probably doesn't realize the full scope of what she asked you to do, and as a friend, you should have told her.

First Right won't contact her. It's just recorded for statics purposes. I would never sic anyone on someone else w/out first talking to them about it. I needed the relief as well. It's been eating at me. I feel that now that I shared, I can approach her and handle it like an adult and not act out in anger.