Pregnant after a Loss

Daycare: would this question be a bit too forward?

After my friends nephew died at a daycare, I feel like I should be asking some pretty questionable questions such as:

Has a child ever died on your daycare premis?

and do you follow the SIDS guidlines? ie: do you place the child to sleep on the stomach etc?

and where do infants sleep? in the same room as the main daycare or are they placed in another room and left unsupervised while sleeping?

Do you think these questions are appropriate.

(PS: I have a friend who works for social services who can look up anyday care provider for me to tell me if they have had any infractions written up against them.  thus I can find out if they are lying about the first Q.)

m/c April '08
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14


My Ovulation Chart

Re: Daycare: would this question be a bit too forward?

  • i don't think they are too forward at all. it is about the safety and health of your child.  I really don't think any question is off limits.
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  • Definately not too forward! It is your baby and I think this would be an important one. You need to feel 100% confident in your daycare choice. I say ask away! :)
    image DD Kara Ashton 11/16/01 SD Karlee Nicole 11/04/00 DD Karsyn Joy 5/15/09 DS Connor Mack 2/25/11 DD Kaitlyn Mae 12/14/12 2 angels 6/2/08 and 6/9/10 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker
  • Some of that information may be public record.  For my state, the licensure board posts every time they visit a facility, whether it was a regular inspection or the result of a compliant/problem (ie death of a child), any of their shortcomings, how those will be addressed w/ follow-up info. 

  • imageMrsRoehl_2008:

    Some of that information may be public record.  For my state, the licensure board posts every time they visit a facility, whether it was a regular inspection or the result of a compliant/problem (ie death of a child), any of their shortcomings, how those will be addressed w/ follow-up info. 

    Unfortunately MO sucks when it comes to this, but my friend can look up the info for me (despite she is technically not supposed too....)

    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


    My Ovulation Chart
  • NO QUESTION IS OFF LIMITS!!! They are going to be caring for your baby, I would also ask for references adn try and talk to parents that have had babies there...
  • I agree with PP- no question is off limits, in fact, I'd be asking those very same questions!
  • Agreed that no question is off limits - but make sure you ask in the nicest way possible. ?And I can say that after working a day care for six years (it was a parish day care so I 'floated' to a bunch of different day cares) that any guidelines that come out about child care are followed. ?Especially if its state licensed - state is REALLY tough on that kind of stuff - I think I would have probably been in a ton of trouble had I ever laid an infant on their belly to sleep.

    ?I would also ask if all their staff have to go through background checks and drug screens. ?

    ?Edit: ?Also, if any of the daycares you talk to don't have supervised nap times, flee the scene?immediately! ?That's a huge no no.?

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  • imageRachel2315:

    I think I would have probably been in a ton of trouble had I ever laid an infant on their belly to sleep.

    Edit:  Also, if any of the daycares you talk to don't have supervised nap times, flee the scene immediately!  That's a huge no no. 

    Unfortunately, the baby that died was placed to sleep in an upstairs room by himself while the lady was downstairs and placed to sleep on his tummy.  She was even given specific instructions that he sleeps in his carseat as well because he had really bad acid reflux. Sad

    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


    My Ovulation Chart
  • That's incredibly scary and awful. ?This is why I think I might not go with in home day cares - a lot of the time there's no back up. ?There was always two of us in the infant room, even during nap time. ?Were we watching the babies sleep intently? ?No, we were making snacks for the older kids and gossiping, but we were in the room at all times and would have noticed had anything happened. ?We also did checks on all the kids.
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  • I don't think any of these questions are out of line.  In fact, the daycare where DS is gave us information on all of these before I even asked (except for the death one).

    Just FYI, you should be able to go to the state licensing organization and find out for yourselves if there is a history of any reports against a daycare provider--anyone can do it, usually, not just a social worker.

  • They seem like reasonable questions to me.  babycenter.com has a whole questionnaire to ask daycare centers - DH took it when he did initial visits, and a couple of the places commented on how thorough it was.

    https://www.babycenter.com/daycare-centers

    https://www.babycenter.com/0_daycare-center-director-caregiver-interview-sheet_1452137.bc

    DD1 is 3, DD2 is 1.
  • I think they are totally fine. I asked how they let the babies sleep, where, and what goes in the crib. Also do they each have their own crib which is their crib through out their time in the infant room.
    BFP 12/23/07, M/C 1/25/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • the daycare we are signed up at makes us sign a waiver to sleep with ANYTHING in the crib with the baby.  I don't know about the SIDS thing though.  I think they are valid questions.
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