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Kari Merks
member
I'm surprised by how many women don't educate themselves...
Kari Merks
member
...and just blindly take a doctors/nurses/mothers/anyones advice. Two women I work with had babies around the time I had DD. All 3 of us wanted to EBF. I made sure to do my research and DH was and still is super supportive. The other 2 ladies didn't read anything or take any classes. They were both scared into supplementing early on. (note: I'm in no way indicating that formula=poison).
And they both have babies that were natural latchers and both produced enough milk. I struggled with DD's latch and clogged ducts, but I kept at it, even through her jaundice.
So, all my rambling was meant to say: Edumacate yourselves! lol
Stasa 01.15.09 * Lexi 03.24.11 * Tommy 04.27.13 * Merklet #4 due 10.10.15
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm surprised by how many women don't educate themselves...
yah i was watching "bringing baby home" and the lady was like "welllll i probably wont be able to breastfeed because i had a c-section and the doctor said holding the baby to my breast will put too much strain on my stomach so we are supplementing and i might try my hand at bf'ing"
i was like screaming at the tv: YOUR DOCTOR IS A MORON!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD A CSECTION AND I BF!!!!!!!!!!!
her doctor also told her that since dd was 9lb her breasts would not make enough milk to nourish her daughter.
what........ thefvck.
its sad, because her doctor did her such a disservice. my doctor made sure to tell me how important it was that i did not give up bf'ing bc it would help me heal better.
(oh yeah and i am not going against ff'ers at all) there is just a ton of misinformation out there.
BLOG THE BABY STANDARD FLICKR VIDEOS
Is it scary up on that horse? Seriously, you were educated on this issue because it was important to you. I am betting there are other issues that you did not take classes about, that are important to other people.
I'm all for education. I read up on BFing and took the classes. And saw 5 different lactation consultants about my issues. But I'm not judging someone for not taking a BFing class.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
i agree with you. i had to do a lot of research because i had a breast reduction....there is a LOT of misinformation about bfing after breast surgery. i didn't take a class but i read all the specialized literature i could find and talked to two LCs before delivery. luckily i didn't listen to the first one because she didn't know anything about bfing after reduction. luckily i also didn't listen to 9/10 of the nurses, LCs, and techs at the hospital because they were all pretty discouraging.
i am so thankful i did the researched, pumped all the time from the time of DS's birth, and stuck with it. my supply is great and we have no major bfing issues. i love nursing my son and am so glad i am able to do it.
I completely agree! ?A lot of women go into this thing (pregnancy/having children) so blindly and then complain or get upset by all the stuff that can (and probably will) happen!
?I know some people will say that "They didn't have books about all this stuff years ago..." but that doesn't mean that it's not a good idea to educate yourself now that it IS available! ?Also, "years ago" doctors would pretty much knock you out and use forceps to "help" you have the baby. ?SOOO, as times change and more research and information becomes available, I think people should educate themselves before embarking on any adventure! ?:)
Sorry for the ramble too!
?
I went to the classes also, and was determined to EBF. But when my baby had symptoms of jaundice, and my supply was not enough to make him poop and regulate his billirubin levels his pedi wanted me to supplement. So I did, and I don't regret it at all. I'm really lucky that my baby doesn't have any nipple confusion so he was able to latch back on to my boob once my milk came in without issues.
Why would anyone go against the advice of healthcare professionals and not supplement? They have been educated as to the benefits of breastmilk, IMO the longterm health of my baby is much more important than struggling relearn how to feed from the boob.
Yeah, that makes no sense. I had a c-section and was encouraged to breast feed, however I couldn't due to a medication that passes through breast milk. I've never heard anything so ridiculous.
I think that too often, people assume that just because someone is a doctor, they automatically know all the answers, have the right answers, and they can never be wrong. Or sometimes doctors themselves have an ego trip and think they have the right answer and intimidate patients into not seeking second opinions or other advice.
I was fortunate to have great doctors. I know other people whose doctors have said and done some really stupid things.
Common sense should be a requirement, as well as book smarts.
I think a lot of it has to do with personal motivation too. We're still working on our latch, and there are many feedings where I spend the first minute or two cringing as we try to get it sorted out and she chomps in her eagerness.
When I was bf'ing older DD, I gave up after 3 months, after engorgement, cracked nipples, latch issues, etc...we had finally gotten everything worked out, but I went back to work and everybody told me it was better to supplement.
Well...with this kid? No way. DH suggested the other night that we give her one bottle of formula a day, so I could sleep through a feeding, and I about took his head off. Then I remembered myself and calmly explained to him that I can't skip a feeding - my boobs don't have a snooze button!
First of all, from a lactation consultant, Breastfeeding does not equal mothering. So everyone get that through their damn heads. You're not a better mother because you BF.
WTF is the point of this post? To make you feel superior? I hope it is, because it makes people like me who wanted to BF and couldn't feel like sh!t. Maybe I didn't edumacate myself. Or maybe all the edumacation I did seemed to say that once I put a bottle of formula in DD's mouth, forget it, there was no way I was ever going to get her to BF.
She was born at 37 weeks, had jaundice and lost nearly a pound in the first 5 days of her life. So we switched to formula. Because brain damage or death seemed like worse options than giving her formula. Being born early, my C-section, and DH getting sick the day after we brought her home from the hospital ontop of the weight loss and jaundice made me feel so helpless. All I knew is that my baby needed to eat.
I still beat myself up about, and I fvking pump because of it, and it sucks.
So I hope when you do fall of your damn high horse, it hurts a little, so you understand what you've done to people like me with this post.
Because there are different schools of thought. WIthin our dr.practice the "old-school" docs still recommend water as asupplement to get rid of jaundice. The newbies say that water can kill babies.
You have to also do your own research. Doctors aren't gods and they can't know everything.
Why are you projecting your guilt on others who were successful?
Nobody here can make comments about being successful BFing but when it comes to successful FF it is all happy time, it is okay, it is not poison etc...
High horse, Pot meet your kettle. Seriously...your issues with BFing not working out has nothing to do with what she is saying. What is your point other than trying to make her feel like crap and guilty for having success?
I know you weren't trying to make anyone feel bad... but obviously you did.
I did take a BFing class and I also saw about 3 different LCs- ultimately it did not work out due to a bad latch and supply issues. I pumped for as long as possible and that was that. and believe me I beat myself up about it. It is hard cause there is alot of conflicting info out there. (in hindsight I think a nipple shield may have helped me but my LCs were againts them- my supply probably would have still been an issue though). So I guess my point is that even if you do educate yourself things still may not work out...
Because healthcare professionals often disagree and give conflicting advice and information. I ended up with a c-section, and since I had planned a birth center birth, I didn't know the pediatrician on-call at the hospital. He pushed me to supplement due to 10% weight loss and mild jaundice. Fortunately I was able to call our regular doctor, who reassured me that 10% is normal and not to worry since my milk had just come in. DS was over his birth weight at 10 days pp.
Pediatrics is suffering (to a lesser degree) what obstetrics is - I honestly believe the hospital ped was trying to cover his _ass by giving overly cautious advice. He didn't know me, so why should he believe that I would go home and follow up the next day (and the next) with weight checks and lactation consults at home? Why does one OB induce at 40w3d and another at 41w6d? Because some jump earlier than the recommended standard of care would advise.
Exactly JAR- I know that wasn't Kari's point.
My DD was born much earlier, at 32 weeks, and never caught onto BFing because her sucking reflex just wasn't developed.
Sure, I wish I could have BF'ed, but my guilt is more associated with the fact that my water broke early, for no reason (testing on placenta revealed no answers), and I couldn't do what I was supposed to do and carry my baby full-term.
Once that happened, I focused on being the best mom I could be. I happen to still be pumping, but we just started introducing formula. What matters is your baby's health.
I never resent other people when they have great BFing stories...I'm glad that other people can do it, especially now that I know how hard it is. More power to them! And if you FF feed, you FF feed and your baby is just as happy, I'm sure.
I used to judge people on how they fed their babies, before I had DD. NEVER again. However you choose to keep your child full and happy is wonderful, considering there are so many starving children in this world.
ding, ding, ding!
You are a LC?
Perhaps it's time to rethink the career path...
very well said and your DD is so pretty!
Good jesus you are an ass. I dont know why this post was written in the first place but nowhere in it was she bashing ff. Your inablitly or desire to bf has nothing to do with this post.
Just shut up FXZ.
I don't begrude anyone their BF'ing sucess. Just don't throw it in my face with a post like this.
Wow.. you women are such b!thces sometimes. And I'm not going to say who this is directed at, cause I'd love to see what guilty consciences start defending themselves.
I do not ever want to see you comment anything about FF and how great it is. You know I WANTED to FF my first but I could not because everything made her vomit and diarrhea for days. I HAD to BF for a year and it really sucked. Never once did I feel like anyone Pro FF was "throwing it in my face" I had lots of trouble with supply and mastitis and pain and suffering.
You REALLY need to get a grip. You are making BFers feel just as ashamed for having success as you thing Kari is doing to you and this has NOTHING to do with that.
Well I am a b*tch when it comes to offensive people calling out an innocent post as something it is not. No defense or guilt here! I will be the first to call out BS, if that makes me a b*tch I say, "takes one to know one"
Why would I comment about how great FF is if I continually beat myself up for not being able to BF?
This is exactly right! Being a good mom is defined by doing whats good for baby and for MOM. Well said.
Yes, my reply was bitchy. It was intended to be bitchy. The comments made by FXZ was not warrented at all.
I do believe we have reached the dead horse here...
I have never seen a post where someone was raving about how great FF was going!!!! If there is one, I'd like a link to it, cause that would be fun to read. However, on a daily basis I see posts about successful BF. I completely understand why someone would be excited and want to share, cause it's a hard thing to BF and it should be considered a great accomplishment.
I think the part of the OP that people are finding offensive is that it *felt* like Kari was making a broad statement that anyone who was unsuccesful with BF probably didn't educate themselves. (Not saying this was her intention... but perception is reality). Perhaps the 2 friends she knew did get "scared" into supplementing, but that doesn't mean that the same thing happened to some of us. Perhaps our reason to stop BF and start FF DID have something to do with what we learned while "edumacating" ourselves.
And I know it's been said a couple times, but in response to everyone saying that there are many schools of thought within different Pedi's, don't you think the same goes for the research that is available out there? Do you think it's possible that someone did an awful lot of research on BF and found SEVERAL schools of thought. And that possibly, the recommendation from their doctor matched something they had researched? Gee, did you ever think of that?
"Why would I comment about how great FF is if I continually beat myself up for not being able to BF?"
So why don't you stop beating yourself up, then? You're feeding your daughter, you're doing your job as a mom, and I don't see anyone judging you. Consider letting go of the chip on your shoulder.
That was true for me. ?My first 2 days in the hospital I had a VERY pushy LC who made me feel GUILTY for not being able to get my son to latch. I was almost ready to give up but the LC on my discharge day was so different and supportive that I kept with it and Im glad I did. ?