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Pregnant after 35
robynlesley
member
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
I find it fascinating
robynlesley
member
... that so many posters on the 1st and 2nd Tri Boards are so anti screening of any kind?especially the non-invasive 1st Tri Screen/Ultrascreeen/NT Scan. Even if one would not abort, they seem so against being better informed.
Of course risks are higher over 35 and the majority of pregnant women on The Bump are in their late 20s, but I think it's best to be prepared. If a baby has Down's Syndrome and you decide to raise that child, he or she may need specialized care and could still have health issues due to the disorder. Why would you want to be surprised with all that at birth?
I generally keep my mouth shut because who I am to tell anyone what to do. But the prevailing attitude on the Tri boards fascinates me.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I find it fascinating
I agree with you it's better to be informed rather than find out when it's too late.
I have to be honest I am at the point right now where I don't want anymore testing. It's kinda a long story but needless to say I was being sent for testing by my high risk dr without him going over why it needed to be done in the 1st place. I had to do alot of research on my own but I was able to make decisions on my own.
That's because 90% of those girls are morons. I mean, let's be honest.
I can never keep my mouth shut on those boards because the idiocy is just so astounding.
Well, my U/S tech is one of the best in the city.. and one of the few who can do the NT test. Plus, I have a couple of fibroids she wants to look at again in a few weeks to make sure they're not growing. (They shrank on the last one.)
So.. mid/late April, we're scheduled to do another vaginal U/S to just check those things out. After that, she thinks we'll probably be okay to just do the abdominal ones.
If she's not worried for me.. then I'm okay with it.
When I first went to my midwife and we talked about testing, she said she had seen more high risk results come back in under 35s than in her over 35 patients.
I think it's something to think about at any age.
Agreed. They're oh so very interested in preparing for the gender of their baby but not what daily health regiments might be necessary upon baby's arrival. I don't know if I would abort(probably arrange a special needs adoption), but if my numbers came back indicating high risk then I would definitely have an amnio so i could make informed choices afterward and prepare my family as well.
These are often the same girls who do not understand that cerebrospinal fluid and blood do not ever come in contact with one another (don't know if you caught the discussion about how many believe epidurals make newborns sluggish etc). It is frightening that so many people choose to be willfully un-or under-informed.
Oh I totally agree. They're too busy being freaked out about lunchmeat, feta cheese and other misc things to focus on being properly prepared. I visit when I am bored but that's about it. It seems like their are two camps: 1) Morons and 2) Those who want to be mean to the morons and tell them how moronic they are.
LOL, Jennifer!!
Don't even get me started on the dietary stuff... I CHOSE to avoid deli meat (and would not eat Feta cheese, even if not pregnant) and I'm being over-fearful. I'm just following my doctor's guidelines.
Though I DO dye my hair... but I think my emotional well-being is important, too. I'd be upset if I had to let myself go gray. ;-)
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
" It seems like their are two camps: 1) Morons and 2) Those who want to be mean to the morons and tell them how moronic they are."
I have found that many of those mean girls are nearly as moronic as the ones they are flaming. I personally do not feel the need to be mean and rude to people as I feel there are far better ways to educate people rather then shame them and humiliate them into shutting down all together.
It's not just that most are morons, but they're self-righteously moronic and young. There was a post a few days ago where the general consensus was something like, "DH and I are both young and I've been taking PNVs for a long time, so there's no chance of anything going wrong."
WTF?
My Blog
Jennifer- BWAHAHA!!
You forgot camp 3. The poor schmucks who actually are there for INFORMATION and are not morons, but are still made fun of.
I do hate those boards.
Christine
So true! I have been through the tri boards twice now and it is simply same ***, different names. No one is super original in their snark and it's just the same insults over and over. Yeah, we get it, preggo=spaghetti sauce. That is older than the lunchmeat question.
(I have to admit that I love looking at the Snarky Brides board every once in awhile. They are actually funny.)
Good news is that the parenting boards are not as bad as the tri. You still get some of the idiotic drama, but for the most part people are more concerned about their kids rather than if the same questions get asked over and over.
Edit: I take it back. 6-12 months appears to be freaking crazy these days.
Oops - I meant informed discussions. Sometimes my fingers get away from me
I have had three children naturally and my last one with an epi. The epi just wasn't right for MY body so i won't do it again ( i don't think...lol). I think women should know the intelligent medically correct choices and decide what is best for her own needs. I do think that husbands should support their wives' decisions in this matter though. Women need all the support they can get and it should definitely start with their partners, IMO.
Can I ask what happened with your epi? My SIL had a problem- she had bad headaches.
"Can I ask what happened with your epi? My SIL had a problem- she had bad headaches."
Well, I have a minor heart condition that the epi seemed to exasperate for whatever reason also i was hit by an ambulance several years back (how's that for irony?! lol) and have a back that hates me now so the epi caused a lot of back pain for me for weeks after the delivery.Additionally, they didn't cath me so they didn't know that my bladder was full and after my son was born my full bladder caused my uterus to bleed so heavily that I almost needed a transfusion and surgery (when they finally realized my bladder was full they drained 1000 cc's!). I was induced so who knows how much of that nonesense was also due to the pitocin. That was pain like I have never experienced and am praying i never will again. lol. I took it for ten straight hours but after I made them check me and I had still not progressed AT ALL, my head spun around on my neck, i threw up pea soup and screamed at the poor nurse that if she was not kidding then I wanted an epidural IMMEDIATELY. lol. It was wonderful and i told the anesthesiologist that I loved him..lol..he said he hears that every day. What resulted afterwards and during the pushing is why i won't do it again. I told my best friend to remind me during labor that pain makes for poor choices. lol. We'll see how I take that kind of logic when it feels like something is ripping out of my pelvis.
Only 34!? you SHOULD apologize, geez....
(god, really? that's as snarky as I can GET? Yeah, i'd better stay on this board where the old folks are sane and sloooow... )
LOL!
Christine
I chose not to have an NT scan because I knew that I didn't want to have a cvs because of the risk of m/c. I decided to do the quad screen and if the results warranted an amnio, then I was willing to do that. So, basically, if I had had an NT scan and the results were of concern, I would have had to wait several weeks for an amnio. That was stress I just didn't need.
I think that people just have different ways of dealing with things. Not flaming, just giving another perspective.
Okay, that's bad. I hope everything goes well for you this time!
Thanks for the different perspective, mrszee2b. That explains a lot to me. And I wonder if others felt the same way as you did?though I'm not certain, since they seem to skip the Quad Screen too.
And NewMrs... since I skipped the CVS and Amnio (though I had a dream about having one last night), I'm not one to judge on that. But if any of my screening results had been questionable, I'd have had the amnio.
But mrszee's comment on the stress of waiting a few weeks makes a lot of sense. I'd have gone looney.
My original reason for posting was the blase attitude of those who skipped any screening and then post how it's unnecessary to those who genuinely ask about the tests. But even with the stress a poor ratio would give, I'd still rather KNOW then be unprepared for a special needs child. (Though I would have terminated.)
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
I am SO with you - I wish this board was more active because I'd much rather spend my time over here - I see you on 2nd tri sometimes and I want to say "save us from these bebes!"
I can't believe the glibness with which they dismiss testing. I did decide not to have an amnio because given my screening results it would have been pretty much ridiculous to have one, but some of those girls (and I use that word deliberately) are so high and mighty about how they would NEVER terminate therefore they don't need any screens. It's like, okay, that's your choice, but if your baby is going to be at extremely high risk of heart defects, for example (if Downs is an issue) wouldn't you maybe want to make sure to work with a high-risk OB and find a pediatric cardiologist NOW rather than immediately after giving birth?
**head hits desk**
This is my second AMA pregnancy and DH and I were in full agreement that we would not be doing ANY unnecessary testing. We were and are fully prepared to deal with what, if any, health issues occurred at birth. We are both very much against anything that is not medically necessary, whether it is invasive or not
I respect everyone's decision to have whatever testing they want that is available to them. But frankly I am a bit offended by your post. I don't believe you meant it this way, but it comes off as saying that the older moms who have the testing are making a better choice.
I do agree that the level of snarkiness on the tri boards is way out of hand. No one should have to feel judged for what they decide to do. This is one of the reasons I don't post there anymore
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
Eaglesfan,
It seems that you and your husband are well aware that you may (and I really hope not) have to deal with medical issues at birth. So you're informed about your decision and have not glibly decided to forgo any screening.
You are right, I did not mean to say that older moms who are having the first tri screen (NT scan, Ultrascreen, whatever) are making a better choice--but I still am amazed at all who poo-poo the tests with the view "I won't abort, therefore I won't have one."
And I respect each individual's choices--to test, to not, to abort, or to keep a child. But I still feel that the overall consensus (and it's mostly the younger crowd) is ignorance is bliss and that amazes me. I try to be on top of my health -- having a mammogram at age 35 because I found a lump (benign) in my left breast) -- and that includes my pregnancy.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!