Be honest. Was I a beotch to MIL?

lmdbww · March 2009

MIL called before to ask if we did not have plans tonight, if DD and I wanted to go with MIL & FIL to Cabela's to show DD the animals and go out to dinner.

Normally this would be fine, except for the following reasons:

DH is oot
I'm NI in going anywhere w/IL's solo because all MIL does is nag the crap out of me
MIL is on my last damn nerve lately anyway (about an unrelated topic)
When DH is oot, I enjoy our alone time
I have a million and a half things to do around the house
Cabelas is over an hour away, I just got home from work 20 minutes ago, and we're not even ready to go anywhere.
I've been to Cabela's before. For those who haven't been, there's 14897 stuffed dead animals standing on a fake mountain. The End. So uninteresting.

So basically, I lied and said that I can't go anywhere tonight because I have to gather paperwork to take to the doctor tomorrow (I have an appt w/a surgeon to go over my gall bladder issues). However, I instead suggest that they can take DD one day this weekend if they want and make a whole day of it. MIL says they can wait to take both of us over the weekend and I say that i've been there, seen the sights, and it's not like I need anything (hunting gear?) and I would be fine if they just want to go. I have to run errands out their way anyway so I can drop her off whichever day they decide, and then have some alone time to run errands and relax.

Well, the eternal neverending feeling of guilt that was instilled in me by my mother has now hit me and I feel like I was bitchy. In my defense, however, MIL is just one of those people who never takes no for an answer and will suggest 489723 different scenarios to get her way because she has to be the boss of everyone.

So, was I a beotch or not?

102503Natalie · March 2009

Nope, not at all. I don't blame you for not wanting to go out. It's Wednesday night, the place is an hour away - it's just not feasible. I think offering to drop your LO off at their house over the weekend was a nice thing to do, so she shouldn't be mad at you, and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Crazycrustacean · March 2009

i vote that you weren't a beotch.?

wcp · March 2009

I'm confused why she feels like you have to be there. I would think she would be psyched to have your DD to herself over the weekend (maybe she wants to nag you?). And yeah, there's no way in hell I would be driving all that way to see a bunch of dead animals stuck into a mountain.

I don't think your were being a biitch.

goodtobethelarkster · March 2009

I don't think so. Not wanting to drive an hour to a place you and DD have been before that neither of you particularly like when you've just home from work and exhausted isn't an unreasonable request.

I think so much of "b!tchy" is in the phrasing. If you're like "F*ck no! Why would I want to go there with you?!" or whatever, then it's b!tchy. But if you phrased it the way it seems like you did then I think you're good. You don't want to go right now and they asked at incredibly short notice. You suggested an alternative so MIL and FIL can spend time with their grandbaby in the very near future. You're probably good.

Mrs.McLovin · March 2009

She wanted you to drive an hour each way on a worknight? No way.

clarice928 · March 2009

Sounds reasonable to me -- minimal biznitch factor. You offered up a suggestion that was better for you, and she can take it or leave it.

~AllSmiles~ · March 2009

There are at least a million things I would rather do than drive DD an hour away on a weeknight to go to a fishing/hunting store. And I wouldn't want to go on the weekend either. I'm not getting the allure of going to a sporting store just to show a baby dead animal heads. I don't blame you at all for saying no on both accounts.

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Be honest. Was I a beotch to MIL?

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