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1st Trimester
I feel like my world has been shattered
I had my 8 week appointment this morning, and during the ultrasound the baby was only measuring 5 wks 4 days. Even if I ovulated late, and implanted late, I'm still a week behind schedule. My dr. says her gut feeling is that this is not a normal pregnancy. I go back next Tuesday to see if there has been any change, and if not I have to be scheduled for D&C. The dr gave me some information on miscarriage, and I wanted to scream at her that they didn't know for sure, please give me another week to grow this new love inside of me. But now I feel, in my heart, that the baby is gone.
I sat in the parking lot for almost an hour, just staring at the steering wheel. I didn't want to come home, because I knew how hard it would be to walk in the door, knowing that I wasn't really pregnany anymore. And, we hadn't told anyone yet that we were expecting, so I don't even have anyone to call. Not that I feel like talking, my whole body is numb. It's amazing how quickly your entire life can change.
Thanks for letting me talk. It feels better just to say something, even if it is so hard. Best of luck to all my first tri loves out there. Happy and healthly 9 months!
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Re: I feel like my world has been shattered
I'm very sorry you're going through this. I went through the same thing in October and it was devastating.
As awful as it is now, you will be back here, and hopefully soon, and you'll get your baby. I'm really sorry, though.
I'm so sorry - while I have never had a m/c I do feel like I can empathize a little bit. When I got my original diagnosis of infertility it was completely unexpected. I had gone in to follow up on my round of clomid and I thought everything was fine. My ex-doctor (an a**hole) proceeded to explain that I had a uterine defect and that I would probably never concieve or carry a pregnancy to term. I didn't have DH with me that that appointment and I remember walking out, numb - riding in the elevator with a pregnant couple who had just had their big u/s, and getting in my car and also staring at the steering wheel. I was too overwhelmed to cry, put the key in the ignition, or even pick up the phone. So, while I've never lost a child, and can't even begin to fathom that pain - I have been in your place of devestating news and having to go home and pick up life where you left off. Take some time for yourself and know that you CAN get pregnant - and even if this pregnancy doesn't stick, you will be back here again. Hang in there...
::big hugs::
Sarah, 35 bumping from NE Ohio
Married my love 4/22/2006
DD born 10/12/2009
DS born sleeping 2/23/2013 full trisomy 18
Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
Don't give up yet. I know someone had this same experience back in September - she went to her first appt alone and the doctor told her the baby was measuring a week or so behind, and they didn't think it was a viable pregnancy. She left the appt just devastated. Turned out everything was ok, and she is due in July.
TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
I'm so sorry, Mel. That is such a rough thing to go through. I lost my baby at 6.5 weeks in late Sept, and honestly, it was the worst thing I've been through. HOWEVER, cling to the knowledge that it WILL get better.
My heart is breaking for you - take care!
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
I am so sorry that you are going through this. You and your family are in my prayers.