Am I being a big baby? NBR

MrsPatterson · March 2009

I think I posted once or twice a while back on TTCAL about how we have this guy who delivers our office supplies to us who has made several inappropriate comments to me. He has called me luscious, fat and a "hot young thing" (each on separate occasions). I had finally had enough when he called me fat, so I told him I didn't appreciate him saying that and that he should not be going around saying those types of things to women he barely knows. He wasn't what I would call embarassed or sorry, so I feel like he would do it again. I now will leave my desk when I see him coming (discreetly and without making a big scene), under the pretense of going to the bathroom or getting some water. Today, when I came back up to my desk after he'd left, my coworker scolded me for always avoiding him and what a "nice, funny man" he is. She has heard him make all these comments to me and doesn't think they're a big deal. Am I acting like a little kid for trying to avoid him?

mikkimikey · March 2009

I would avoid him, too!! No joke! I don't think you're acting like a little kid at all. I think he is the one who is being inappropriate, and your coworker is an idiot since that's harassment.

I get commented on all the time (random people in stores, walking down the street from people in cars) and it's never a flattering thing, it always bothers me, and it probably always will!

And there is never an "ok" situation to call someone fat.

Hopeful1! · March 2009

No, you are not being a baby! I HATE it when guys I barely know make comments. I would also avoid him as much as possible and never make eye contact or reply back to him. Ugh, that is one of my pet peeves.

Daisy22 · March 2009

Totally inappropriate in a work place and not funny at all. Good for you for saying something to him. If he says something again I would definitely go to his manager.

dmsmth · March 2009

I think I remember these posts! Pregnancy brain may not be so bad after all!!! Anyway if it makes you uncomfortable, I would avoid the situation too. Technically you could notify his boss and that would cause alot more friction, so y our coworker needs to be appreciative you aren't going further. And technically isn't sexual harrasment considered just making somebody feel uncomfortable with sexual like comments... So really, you are being nice by avoiding any further conflict and or turning him in.

mh2t · March 2009

Hearing someone call me "fat" would piss me off. "Luscious" or "hot young thing" would skeeve me right out. I don't think you're being a baby.

pahokie · March 2009

Let your co-worker handle his comments. You asked him to refrain, and he didn't. He is lucky all you do it slip away from your desk - sexual harassment is taken pretty seriously nowadays.

jeffrae · March 2009

absolutely not. I would say something to my boss and let them know I planned on calling that man's boss and filing a complaint. I have absolutely NO tolerance for stuff like that.

bamfs · March 2009

I think it's totally reasonable to avoid someone who makes you uncomfortable even after you've confronted them about it... he sounds like a creep and I think your co worker is wrong for scolding your behavior (she should be on your side, i think)

julia&jared · March 2009

CREEPY! I would avoid him too and if your co-worker like his comments then she can talk to him and she shouldn't care if you are there or not. She sounds creepy too.

epopp85 · March 2009

You're a better person than me for taking it calmly and just avoiding him. I would retort right back. If he had called me fat, I would have said, "look wo's talking" or "guess you've never seen a real woman before" or something and then told him to take a long walk off of a short pier.

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