how has parenting affected your marriage?

sept04brideinMD · March 2009

So far the pregnancy - especially lately, has brought us sooo much closer together and I felt like we had a solid, strong marriage before. But, I've heard all these stories about the disconnect & the lonliness that some new mom's are feeling...just wondering how you all are handling it - and what works.

I'll be joining you in about 2-3 weeks...thanks ladies!

SBH0078 · March 2009

Personally we haven't been disconnected. Tempers just get shorter when you have a LO screaming. I love my husband and he is great with our DD. I just have less patience for my husband these days. Meaning, if I ask him to do something, I need it done right away not after a commercial. That's our biggest thing.

Like right now I am awake and his alarm clock has gone off 3 times... he needs to be getting ready for work and he keeps hitting snooze. I am not going to go make him wake up, he is an adult and needs to get his a$$ up. Big Smile

Mjmksb04 · March 2009

SBH0078:

Personally we haven't been disconnected. Tempers just get shorter when you have a LO screaming. I love my husband and he is great with our DD. I just have less patience for my husband these days. Meaning, if I ask him to do something, I need it done right away not after a commercial. That's our biggest thing.

Like right now I am awake and his alarm clock has gone off 3 times... he needs to be getting ready for work and he keeps hitting snooze. I am not going to go make him wake up, he is an adult and needs to get his a$$ up.

Yes, this. In ways it has brought us closer together, but I am much shorter with my H than I used to be. I try not to be and apologize when I am out of line as does he, but it is tough to always be patient and understanding when you are exhausted. The other thing with us too is that at least when I was on maternity leave, I had a lot of resentment towards my H, like when he would go to work and was able to basically continue his life as normal when I was stuck in the house with the baby all day. Part of that was my crazy pp hormones, but things have improved since I went back to work because he does his part more.

Kari Merks · March 2009

We're usually shorter with each other, but only when DD has been super fussy. For the most part we are much much closer. We love being a family and end up doing a lot of things together. We both especially love our bedtime routine because it's the one time of the day where we get to spend time together without interruptions.

Jessis62781 · March 2009

We definitely have a stronger relationship since having K. Yes, it's hard and yes, it's draining, but we work together through the good and bad. It helps that DH is so willing to help with feedings, changings, etc.

Do I get lonely during the day? Sure do. But if I say I need an hour or two away DH is more than happy to give me my adult time and step up to take care of K.

TexasLadyBug · March 2009

Over all I would say we are stronger and more loving. Life is no longer about just him and I and the first week with all the hormones it was hard for me, I missed the just us time. I?appreciate the small things way more like at night when we put DS to bed and we get a chance for just us time. I am not talking sexual either just feeling his arms around me holding me close feels so good.

I think the best advice I can give is to try and get back to your normal life, but with your LO. We go out to eat together (the three of us). We are still doing the things we did before him just now we take him and we have to plan a little better such as around feedings etc but the important thing is that we are messing our lives together and not giving up doing the things we injoy just because we have a baby. I would note that this does not mean we are going out late and going to bars because we dont do that anyways, but we are outdoors people and enjoying walking at the lake, going on trips to see family, eating out every once in a while etc..?

lauraanddave · March 2009

We have always been very close and open w/each other...no secrets or modesty here.

But it did bring us a lot closer together. My water broke at 31 weeks and I spent a week in the hospital before DD came via emergency c/s. I think that going through that together really bonded us even more...the worrying and the time spent in the hospital being monitored, us both needing each other for support, etc.

Now it's awesome. Seeing DH with DD makes me love him even more.

TARAnj · March 2009

I just have less patience, but he really is an amazing man. He has so much patience w/my daughter and takes her from me before I even ask when he sees I'm losing it. The first couple weeks we fought a lot, but it was the stress and NO SLEEP! She's colic and that's what is killing us. A lot is me though, cause i just don't have the patience I need to get through this.

adamwife · March 2009

Overall it has made us closer. We always have a slight adjustment period during the first few weeks PP where we avoid each other like the plague, because I am overly hormonal/homicidal and if he even looks at me wrong I will snap. But in general our love is a lot stronger. Seeing him become a daddy has made melove him so much more.

But the lack of sex is tough. There is no time......... Sigh.

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