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2nd Trimester
manda_mullins
member
manda_mullins:west_indy:Im not changing anything. If you dont like it, please dont go into the post. I said it was not meant to offend anyone, get off of my back. I have a nephew is mentally challenged, so I am really ok with the word being used. ??So, by your logic, I can title a post with the "n" word and if anyone doesn't like it, they should just ignore it. Because I have an African American friend, so it's okay. And it's okay if I don't MEAN to offend with it.?
So, by her logic...
manda_mullins
member
manda_mullins:west_indy:Im not changing anything. If you dont like it, please dont go into the post. I said it was not meant to offend anyone, get off of my back. I have a nephew is mentally challenged, so I am really ok with the word being used. ??So, by your logic, I can title a post with the "n" word and if anyone doesn't like it, they should just ignore it. Because I have an African American friend, so it's okay. And it's okay if I don't MEAN to offend with it.? This discussion has been closed.
Re: So, by her logic...
I totally like that logic. Because it means anytime I like, I can start off a post with, 'Hey, you fat biitches". Because I am one. And I'm not offended by being one. So no one else will be too, right?
What up, biitches?
## goes and hides under the bed but still looking on ##
seems like the exact same logic to me.
OMG .. i was soooooooooo thinking this, but just stayed out of all of it and didnt post anything.
I'm pretty sure, however, that you should never call pregnant women "cows" regardless of how cowlike you ever feel.
and THAT is advice you should write on a post-it note and keep next to the computer.
Aaaand according to the dictionary, that word really just means "a member of any dark-skinned race".
?
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Because words don't have any other meanings or connotations aside from what the dictionary says, right??
I really wanted to say this, but I wasn't sure exactly how to phrase it without looking like an @ss myself.
Perfect wording though... I hope this hits home with her and she realizes how her post affects people.?
Have you lurked over on ML at all? One of our regulars calls all of us pg/moms "breeding cows." It's eventually morphed into a joke (some even embrace it as a term of endearment), but it was a slow morph. I don't think it'd fly over here on the bump...
I couldn't agree with you more Manda!
Part of me wants to find a pic of a swastica and post it. Because it really doesn't have a "meaning"-it's just a picture. So no reason to be offended right? (I wish I had the balls to do this-but even I have limits!)
I just love your pic : ) We need more man candy around here.....
But, wait, that's different. Because that's racist and all....
Great logic Manda!!!!!!!!!
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Yeah you'd probably get banned lol. But isn't it Indian or Tibetan in origin? I mean her stupid argument is such a slippery slope. ?
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Yeah you'd probably get banned. But isn't it Indian or Tibetan in origin? I mean her stupid argument is such a slippery slope. ?
FWIW I've actually heard that originally it was a Native American symbol for good luck and prosperity. But I've never actually researched the orgins of the swastica, so I really have no idea.
omg, no, but maybe I should branch out, lol!
It was just an example, I swear.
There's only one or two girls I'd even dare to say that to in a JOKING fashion.
Lord knows after everything I've been through with you ladies this week, I don't need to be offending anyone. Everyone's been too good to me.
I couldn't help but respond in the midst of my lurking over here...
I totally get the offensive nature of the original post. Yes, selfish. Yes, offensive. Yes, she should have just apologized for using such an inflammatory term that hurts those who are affected by the challenges of special needs. It's not easy. I know it's not.
But NEVER. NEVER is it appropriate to reciprocate with THAT word.
Nor do I think joking about the use of a swastika is needed at ALL.
You completely missed the point. She's not saying she thinks it's appropriate, she's saying that by that stupid biitchs logic the "n" word should not be offensive if the word "retarded" isn't. The point was to make her understand that to a lot of people the two words are equally as offensive.
I think she was making a point about the validity of the girl's argument. No one would reciprocate with that word, or offensive images. Manda was taking the same argument and applying it to situations that it wouldn't hold water. No one would ever believe any of those things are acceptable.
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We're not joking about. Just saying that if she's going to defend her argument with the dictionary definition alone, then we could easily do the same with other more offensive words or images. No, it's not okay to use that word, but it's not okay for her either. I feel like this is a black and white issue with no gray areas. Either ALL socially offensive and degrading terms are wrong, or they're okay. You can't only be okay with the ones that don't personally offend you and then get upset if someone does the same and the result is yourself being offended.?
THIS.
I understood what her reasoning was, and why she posted. And I agree with the offensive nature of the "r" word. But I cannot, for the life of me, compare its histroy to that of the "n" word or the swastika, with their physical HISTORY: their inception, their use, and the torture, interrogation, deterioration, and obliteration of entire peoples.
There was no part of any of this that was using anything as reciprocation or being used in a joking manner. It was being said to point out that certain words/things in our society have connotations that go with them that make it offensive and unacceptable for use. It was simply to point out how useless the OP's defense of her language was.
Joaquin's hospital and Isela's birth center med & intervention free "hypnobabies" birth stories
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Yes, this, for those of you who can read and don't just want to argue now that you've recently logged on and missed all the "fun".?
And the institutionalization (in best cases) of "retarded" people throughout history is much better? (BTW "retarded" people were also tortured and obliterated during the times you speak of as well) Guess what-that shitt still happens! Parents are still told not to hold their children or see their children if they are labled retarded at birth because it will be easier to give them up if they haven't seen their child. So I fail to see how one word is any less offensive than another in this case.
Not fun.
I just feel, quite simply, as someone affected by BOTH of the terms in negative ways in my personal life, that they are not comparable. They're simply not.
I can appreciate the logic, in retaliation for her refusal to admit she was offensive, but I don't feel it can compare, for reasons I've stated.
At least we can all agree that the "r" word needs to go, and that will fortunately reflect in how we rear our kids and their exposure to it. I'm happy to have such women making babies in a world of elevated awareness.
There. I've said my hippie peace. Nothin' but love.
What's wrong with the "n" word anyways, I always tell my DH I'm a Ninga. hehe... not funny... oh well.
Anyone else notice that west_indy or whatever her name is had nothing to say on this one???
LOL.
Shocking.
LMAO! Thank you-that was definately needed for this post! It started out so fun....
I think the problem with the getting people like the op to appreciate how unacceptable the "r-word" is has to do with the fact that people don't see it on par with words like the "n-word." In the Special Olympics campaign that I mentioned a couple of times, they actually have an ad with the "n word," "sp*c," "f*g," and the "r-word" to show that they are all the same. I personally think it should be elevated to that status of offensiveness. It's only then that people will realize just how bad it is to people who are affected by mental and physical disabilities.
And, people with disabilities have been treated poorly throughout history. Who do you think Hitler went after before he began exterminating the Jews? It was disabled people.
Look, every word, no matter how derogatory is used by certain cultures, regions, groups and places. That is the reality. Black people call each other the n-word (at least in the area in which I live and in the music to which I listen), women call each other biitches, homosexuals call each other faags and gays and other people have learned to take back and redefine the use of certain labels. I've even heard mentally challenged use the words retard and retarded.
The fact of the matter is that words like retard and gay are popular in today's vernacular and are not intended to be used in a derogatory manner. The point is that there is no intention to be derogatory. In fact, the words have transformed to reflect this: gay is now ghey and retard is now retardo.
You've all said your piece, which you're entitled to, but we also need to respect where people come from and the fact that some people slip up, particularly in public forums where this type of slang may not be fully accepted. Some people are also defensive. Let them be. If we really want to make changes in the use of the words, make a non-inflammatory statement and move on. Don't beat the person up because that will only result in retaliation and/or some other defense mechanism.
Also, I didn't just log in...I've been watching this thing spiral out of control for the last hour or so and was just waiting to see if the excitement would die down. No such luck. You guys are certainly relentless.*
*This is meant to be a facetious comment. Feel free to flame me but you will see that bashing her isn't going to do anything but unecessarily exacerbate the situation.
This.