After reading the post about getting pregnant.....

htomeo · March 2009

was an accident....... I have to wonder if so many who replied that it was an accident, are going to share that with their children? Are you seriously going to tell your kid they were an accident?!

LillyBug923 · March 2009

The more correct term would be "unplanned"

(But we had a hard time getting preg, so I can only imagine what that's like!)

htomeo · March 2009

LillyBug923:
The more correct term would be "unplanned"

I figured that or surprise.

foxlm22 · March 2009

I was a surprise. I wasn't planned (my parents wanted children eventually but not yet) and my mom has told me that. They don't love me any less, why would it bother me or matter?

springtime81 · March 2009

I was an "accident" and I have known about it since I was young, and I never cared! I just tell my parents I was the best unplanned surprise to ever happen to them, ha! It's not like they love me any less then my two "planned" older siblings.

imavera · March 2009

My parents told me. Granted, I was an accident after 3 late term miscarriages, so they were pretty excited about me. It never affected me that I was an "accident", though.

MLOVER<3 · March 2009

Pleasantly surprised

ladysingstheblues · March 2009

I was planned. My little sister wasn't. She knows that, but I don't think my mom told us until we were adolescents.

Samantha82 · March 2009

Holljade:
Pleasantly surprised

That's the term my parents used for me :-)

Even if they didn't tell me I would have guessed. They were both around 20 and still in college and just married. It didn't bother me at all.

htomeo · March 2009

But my question is if you ladies will use the actual term "accident"?

Lucky428 · March 2009

My little brother was an accident. After me, they were done, but God had other plans and my brother joined us. They were really upset at the time but so glad when he was born because he was their only boy. He knows all about how they felt and he doesn't mind.

MLOVER<3 · March 2009

htomeo:
But my question is if you ladies will use the actual term "accident"?

?

No- actually I rarely use the term accident that post was a fluke I suppose; mainly ?because of the wording in the original question. I like to use surprised (or pleasantly surprised), it has a much more positive tone to it.?

JuliaKL · March 2009

my babe is the greatest surprise of my life. after TTC for quite some time, we had just stopped trying due to financial and timing issues with work, moving, etc, and boom - BFP! not an accident so i would never use that word.

i think accident has different connotations than surprise!

Sweets2005 · March 2009

Why do you care what people do? It is their business and I think this whole post is kind of judgemental...

htomeo · March 2009

Sweets2005:
Why do you care what people do? It is their business and I think this whole post is kind of judgemental...

Hmm

LizLovesJason · March 2009

My DD was unplanned, but only in the sense that I got pregnant 6 months or so before we had planned to try. We definitely wanted kids, but we weren't TTC at that point because we had only been married a few months, and we had just bought a house. Still, it wasn't that big a deal that she was unplanned--she was just a little earlier than expected. I would never tell her she was an "accident"--I don't like that word. However, I don't see a problem in telling her someday that she was a surprise--but a VERY welcome one!

mags2041 · March 2009

I was an accident according to my parents (who in their right mind would have a baby in the first year of medical school??) and I've never felt bad about it. I mean, they had me and love me very much, so whats the difference?

LizBusch · March 2009

i think i posted that it was "sort of an accident" by which i meant we weren't actively trying to get pregnant like a lot of people do...but we weren't NOT trying either. so ours was just a happy surprise that happened a lot faster than we thought it would. i feel like "accident" has bad connotations and neither of us feel any negative feelings about this at all. we are so happy and excited, so of course we're not going to tell the baby it was unplanned. we were of the mentality that we weren't going to try but we weren't going to actively try not to either and whatever happens, happens.

so i probably shouldn't have said "it was sort of an accident" when i didn't mean it that way at all...i was just using the language she used in her original post which wasn't the most accurate for our situation.

htomeo · March 2009

I agree that every child is loved and that does not make the parents want them any less. So everyone, don't be getting the wrong idea. I was just wondering about the term "accident"

staycee · March 2009

I worry more the opposite.

Down the road - how/if to tell our daughter all we went through to get her.

rcollier_17 · March 2009

I would never tell any of my children that they were an accident, but once old enough I might tell them that they came a little sooner than what we had planned or something along those lines. Children could learn valuable lessons from knowing that just because things don't go exactly how you want them to doesn't mean that it's a "mess-up." That unplanned happenings can be beautiful blessings. Additionally it's good for them to understand the consequences of their decisions. I've thought multiple times "at least I'm with the man that I want to have children with."

Just my thought thougy Big Smile

tryingforbabyL · March 2009

My twin sister and I were an accident. My mama had 5 kids in 6 years (including Irish Twins Big Smile ) ... six years later - Twins. My mom always told us we were her biggest mistake! My older brothers and sisters never hesitated to tell us that either!

I did not learn until about my 18th birthday that we almost killed my mother. My dad actually had to choose between us or her. His words were "I have 5 other kids at home, I need her".

patrickandkim · March 2009

DD knows that she wasn't planned just from how old I was when I had her. I would never use the term accident with her though.

cantytam · March 2009

I didn't get pregnant by accident, but I was an accident. My parents always use to joke around about that.

Mommy2Gav · March 2009

My Dh was an accident and my MIL uses that term. ?They didn't want him at the time and FIL wanted her to get an abortion but she wouldn't. ?They were really poor and were each already working two jobs to pay for their 5 year old son. I am so thankful they didn't terminate or put him up for adoption but it kills me to hear her talk about him like this. She actually says that they didn't want another kid...it's so negative. Drives me nuts.?

bwm2bmw · March 2009

My mom was 40 and I was 9 and an only child when my brother was born. He's been telling people since he could talk that he was an "unexected suprise" but I'm sure he's used/been called accident along the road, never seemed to bother him.