I am planning my own shower!?!

booboo1414 · March 2009

I'll make this short. Everyone who voluntered to throw my shower has all this drama going on in their lives. We are stress out enough, and can't really deal with people bringing in more. So we decided to throw our own. I know according to proper etiquette, it is a no no, but if we don't throw it then I will get no baby shower.

What do you ladies think?

**Gretchen** · March 2009

I think that you're going to get flamed to high heaven for this.

You don't have any close friends/relatives who are drama free who could throw you a shower?

rockchalkbride · March 2009

I think it would be more appropriate if your or his mother threw the shower.

AutumnBride929 · March 2009

I wouldn't do it. People will get you gifts anyway, regardless of whether or not you're getting a shower.

Temp159135562506975 · March 2009

i don't think it's ever appropriate to throw your own shower. A shower is not a "right" - it's just something nice people do for you.... and if nobody you know is nice enough to do it- IMO, then you don't have one.

JCM083009 · March 2009

Since you asked... I think that's ridiculous.You don't throw your own shower. If no one can throw you one (which I highly doubt), then you're not having one. People will buy you gifts if they want to either way. You can also have a party to "meet the baby" after the baby is born if you want to get people together. DO NOT throw your own shower.

LillyBug923 · March 2009

This screams, Buy me things! Ohhh... I need this! Bring presents!

snkh · March 2009

If there is no one to plan your shower and give it then I would not throw one for myself.

GypsyEsq · March 2009

Ugh what a mess. Sorry this happened to you but ya, planning and throwing your own baby shower is not good. Maybe a family member would be willing to do it? I have no idea how you'd ask someone to host, actually I don't think you really can, but planning and hosting your own is definitely not proper.

peppermintgirl · March 2009

Having a baby doesn't entitle you to a shower. I'm pretty bummed that I'm not getting one, and I'm definitely not strict on etiquette, but even I wouldn't do it. That's like inviting people over for your birthday and sending out a wishlist with the invitations. If you just want a get-together with friends and the like, why not wait until after the baby is born and invite people over to meet them? People will probably bring a gift, if that's what you're concerned with.

IselaCid · March 2009

I think you are asking for a lot of trouble by bringing it up on here. If you want to do it, do it, but don't ask this board for permission..unless you didn't really want to do it and need help talking yourself out of it.

booboo1414 · March 2009

So I guess that is all decided. I will not be getting a shower. Oh well. I really wanted one since we didn't have an engagment, barchelorette, or bridal shower. But I do respect etiquette. I will not be throwing a "Meet the baby" because I don't my newborn exposed to all the germs.

Thanks anyways ladies for your true opinions.

audreyp · March 2009

I was in the same place when I had DD#1....

I chose to have a Meet the Baby Dinner when she was a few weeks old

it was really nice!

bleu928 · March 2009

JCM083009:
Since you asked... I think that's ridiculous.You don't throw your own shower. If no one can throw you one (which I highly doubt), then you're not having one. People will buy you gifts if they want to either way. You can also have a party to "meet the baby" after the baby is born if you want to get people together. DO NOT throw your own shower.

I like this "meet the baby" party idea....

ladysingstheblues · March 2009

booboo1414:

So I guess that is all decided. I will not be getting a shower. Oh well. I really wanted one since we didn't have an engagment, barchelorette, or bridal shower. But I do respect etiquette. I will not be throwing a "Meet the baby" because I don't my newborn exposed to all the germs.

Thanks anyways ladies for your true opinions.

Oh, Jesus, just throw yourself a damn shower. I wouldn't care... as long as it was a very close friend or relative, i.e., someone I loved. I don't judge my loved ones.

Don't expect random friends and acquaintances to attend; don't even invite them.

IselaCid · March 2009

I know this is evil in bump land, but do you have a family member that would throw it if it weren't for all the drama? That person can be the front person. Even though you're doing all the work and technically throwing the shower, they can be the host and nobody knows a thing...just an idea.

monica92603 · March 2009

I got flamed when I said I wanted to do something "easy" for my friends by just having them over to my house for a bbq since our mothers throwing my other 2 showers live so far away. I didn't want my friends to have to travel and thought they'd appreciate not having to drive. In fact, the few friends I had mentioned it to thought it was a great idea. Didn't go over so well here when I put out the idea. I don't know, I guess I'm opposite of most and think it's rude to "find" a friend or family member to have one for you.

madonnadouwanna · March 2009

If you are throwing your own shower, I'd recommend doing it after the baby was born, like a "meet the baby". IMO, I think it is tacky for the mom-to-be to host her own shower.

mooninlv · March 2009

tacky

Nicavesani · March 2009

Totally agree! ?Girls on here can be ruthless! ?

I personally think that if you HAVE to, then go for it! ?I would ask my mom to help so that it looks more like SHE's throwing it. ?Or you can have like a couples get together with DH on the BBQ or something so that it's fun and couple-y. ?Anyone who's offended wont go... and besides, your real friends wont think you're tacky or anything, they'll just be excited to share this special time with you! ??

cosm · March 2009

I don't understand why people make such a big deal about this. ?Who cares who hosts the shower? ?I say if you want to have a shower and host it yourself, go for it.?

DanielsWife · March 2009

A few of us are NOT having showers, btw, so don't feel like you're the only one - and yes, a few of us didn't have engagement/bachelorette/bridal showers either. ?Yeah, it sucks majorly, but oh well.

I'm still registering, though. ?I just wish some people will decide to gift us, even without an "invitation" to "shower" us.?

Idhreniel · March 2009

Having a "meet our baby" party afterwards is one thing, but throwing your own shower is generally considered tacky.

Is it really that serious if you don't have one?

DanielsWife · March 2009

Idhreniel:
Is it really that serious if you don't have one?

Trying not to be bitter:

I look at it this way: we read all the excited posts about baby showers on here, and those of us who aren't having one - mostly due to no local family, no local friends, flaky family, etc. - kinda get bummed that everyone else's baby is celebrated - and ours isn't. ?And people do make a big to-do over showers and what people get at them. ?

I mean, everyone can use some help - especially in this economy - so those of us not getting showers are left with that much more to purchase for the baby, if you think about it. ?So, the essential lack of fairness, in regards to people helping out/wanting to gift for the baby and in regards to people giving a sh!t about them and their baby, is what it comes down to.

thaira · March 2009

at the very least you should talk your mom hosting it...you can have an open house at your house...but on the invitation it can say thrown by mom

MumtoB · March 2009

I thought that showers were supposed to be a surprise! You never know, maybe someone that you've written off as too busy with their own drama has actually intended on having a shower for you.

karomel0828 · March 2009

Why are people so stuck on "tradition", if you wanna throw yourself a baby shower, party, whatever-just do it!

yayi · March 2009

Go ahead and throw yourself a shower... it doesn't matter what is traditional or not. Just know people will judge you regardless of what you decide to do in life. so you might as well do what makes you happy

Hotomale · March 2009

I would definately just talk to your mom or a friend about helping so that the invitations come from them so it doesn't look like you're throwing the shower yourself. Easy!

DonnysBride09 · March 2009

IMO- who the hell asks "whos throwing the shower"?? ive never been to a shower where someone has asked.. assumptions are made.. but who really knows. So why does anyone have to know? i wouldnt throw my own, at all. Im helping my sister plan mine- because she doesnt always plan the nicest things and can be a bit tacky.. plus i HATE surprises... but shes still in charge. but if thats what you have to do, thats your deal. dont let anyone make you feel bad. like i said, i wouldnt do it.. but i had other options, so that never came thru my mind. but i guess you gotta do what you gotta do. i do agree with the pp that said to just invite limited ppl.

Mrs. Van · March 2009

First of all, I give you a big round of applause for even posting this on here. Wow you have guts, these girls can be so scary with their comments. I agree with a lot of people and say if you want one, throw one yourself. I personally wouldn't call it a "baby shower". Why not just have a get together/cookout/dinner for your nearest and dearest. Or the "meet the baby" thing is also cute, that is just hard when you need the stuff before the baby is born and you don't want to wait until after. Good luck!

KristensMom314 · March 2009

With my first one, things got kind of complicated, and I never had a shower, and honestly with this one I'd be super disappointed if I didn't get one, so I totally understand where you're coming from. I probably won't host my own if I don't have one, but are you sure someone's not planning a surprise for you?

KristensMom314 · March 2009

I also wanted to mention that even though I didn't have a baby shower with my first one I still got a ton of stuff after she was born. And definitely register. If anyone asks where you're registered, be sure to let them know.

AngelaEsq · March 2009

i sent you a private message

maria15288 · March 2009

Do it.Who cares what people say. If this is the only way you'll get a drama free and enjoyable day then do it. Party On Party!!!

purdybooshka · March 2009

maria15288:
Do it.Who cares what people say. If this is the only way you'll get a drama free and enjoyable day then do it. Party On

Ditto to that!

Man THROW YOUR OWN SHOWER! Break tradition! Everyone deserves a shower. If you're concerned about having a host, then see if you can plan most everything (if not everything) & just have someone be the contact person for RSVP's if you can find someone willing & responsible enough ) If not, still throw yourself one anyway!

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