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TTC after 35
Julia-Henry
member
Here's my plan.. what do you think? (long, sorry!)
Julia-Henry
member
in TTC after 35
So, we're gearing up to TTC #2 (#1 was 3 in December). I work, but my job involves contracts and commitments that usually run 12-18 months in each place. I'm expecting that my current job will end Dec 31, 2009, and that I will probably leave with the Christmas vacation.
It's taken us a long time to both be ready for #2. As of a month or so ago, we are both ready and eager to begin. I know that at my age (39), the odds are overwhelmingly high that we will take months to conceive. And, I know that my job feels important for now, but is really a small thing relative to having a child. I also know that I've worked so very hard and take great pride in doing a professional job and honoring my commitments.
Anyway, while we're now ready to go ahead and TTC, we're waiting for another month or so, so that I can definitely see out my current contract. We're planning to have the IUD out in mid-April and see what happens. Because I have the mirena, I could, in theory, get pregnant the day or two before they pull the device. And because I will have another c-section, I can only go to 38 or 39 weeks. So, any calculations of due dates must include our 'start date' as possible conception, and a due date of Jan 4 or later, at a minimum, which puts me at TTC at the earliest on April 13 or 14...
I've really struggled with this because I'm so ready to go ahead. I know it's only 3-5 weeks, but I'm second-guessing my wait.
I also know that anything can happen - premature delivery, bedrest at 4 months, or (most likely!) no baby until 2012. I'm ok with that - these fears and stresses are about my decisions more than anything else.
What do you think? Should I go ahead and start NOW? Or am I doing the right thing by waiting and missing at least another potential TTC cycle, maybe two?
Thanks for reading my ramble. Gosh, this is hard - what might be takes up so much emotional energy...Anyway, I do appreciate your "listening" and hope it all goes quickly for each of you!
2012 Races:
Mar 24: Great Human Race 5K. April 28: 5K for Fitness
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Here's my plan.. what do you think? (long, sorry!)
That's tough. On one hand I'm screaming start now because like you said you never know how long it will take but will one more month really make that big of a difference? Also since you've already had a DC then you are more likely to conceive #2 more easily so it may be best to just stick with your plan.
I don't think I was too much help...
Hi, J-H.
My thought is start now. Because you can plan all you want, but as you said, there are so many variables that you cannot possibly account for. You could wait, get pregnant sooner than you think, and then deliver early. Or, it might take you longer than you think to get pregnant, and then you'll have started a new contract anyway.
I'm 39, too. We're trying for our first. It hasn't been that long - this is cycle 4. But I had no idea how emotionally tough TTC was. And I struggle sometimes to keep from looking backward and wishing we had started even a few months earlier.
In short: i think if you start now and you get pregnant right away, you'll just be happy and joyful and you'll find a way to deal with work. I think if you wait and it happens to take longer than we all hope it will, you may regret waiting a few months.
Just my two cents.
As hard as it might seem, you should probably wait the extra month. Unless you were to actually conceive the first month (which sounds like that isn't what you want), you won't actually gain anything by starting to try earlier. Sadly, TTC efforts aren't cumulative, each month is a clean slate and last months efforts mean nothing.Oh, how we all wish it were the other way around.
Have you thought about having the IUD removed earlier and using condoms to let your body get back on schedule? You could go ahead and start charting, etc and at least feel like you were doing something to move the TTC process along.
You're clearly not going to get any consensus in opinion from us, either!
I think Lebraly (spelling from memory, sorry!) has a good point - it makes since to get the IUD out ASAP no matter when you start.
And will a month or two make a difference to you? I don't know. If you're good at not having regrets, it probably won't. I usually don't have regrets, but I can tell you that I see every month we waited as a missed chance.