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How long before you give in?

goillini823goillini823 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

While doing Ferber do you just keep going in at said intervals until they eventually fall asleep or after going in at said intervals and they are still not asleep after say an hour or so  do you just give in for the night?

I'm still reading the book and dont want to start anything until I've read most of the book, but I'm just wondering. TIA

Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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Re: How long before you give in?

  • Tash13Tash13 member
    Everybody is going to be different.   We said that we'd follow our instincts at the time but wouldn't let it go past an hour. 
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  • ReeseMReeseM member

    haven't done it yet, but the book says to keep in going. If you eventually give up and rock them or whatever after an hour, they will supposedly learn that if they cry for an hour, you will get them and put them to sleep. SO it is in fact counter-productive.?

    See my post one above, and you can see that I did not listen to that advice. (not that we have actually started, but still.)

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  • kelbriankelbrian

    When Liliana still cried when we put her in bed, I would pick her up after an hour and then gradually moved to an hour and a half as long as she wasn't hysterical. She didn't cry that entire time, though - a lot of it was a few cries here and there and silence and then she would start up again. Then I would nurse her and rock her a bit and put her back into bed. She would usually fall asleep within minutes.?

    Now she just rolls over and goes right to sleep. ?

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  • BejebusBejebus

    DH and I decided that we would hold out, and remind each other of that when we had our weak moments of just wanting to cuddle the baby... and we did, and we were lucky that DS only cried for about 20 minutes the first night. 

    Think of it this way- if DC cries for an hour, then you go in and "save" them by going back to their old habits, all they are being shown is that it takes an hour of crying to make you do what he wants.  So the next night, they will cry for a minimum of an hour!

    Good luck!

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  • adri77adri77 member

    We did Ferber, at the advice of our pedi.  DS was up 5-10 x per night, and needed to be picked up and comforted each and every time.  DS would cry anywhere from 1.5 hours (minimum) to 3 hours.  He only stopped at 3 hours because I picked him up.  We did this for FIVE WEEKS.  he didn't cry every night that long, some nights, he would only wake up a handful of times and I could just go in and put his binky in.  But then, those other nights would be hours of crying.  Last week, I decided enough was enough, this quite obviously was not working.  then, a couple of nights ago, someone posted this link:

    https://www.askmoxie.org/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html

    My DS's tension definitely increases from crying, and this just solidified why I think Ferber is not for us.  Maybe in a couple of months, but not yet.  Just some food for thought, in case you run into any problems!

     

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