2nd+ time moms- Unsolicited advice?

thatgirlang · March 2009

Are you getting it this time around?

I realized this morning that one of the biggest differences between my pregnancies (in regards to other people) is the lack of unsolicited advice. When people ask the common question, "Is this your first?" and I say, "No," they have nothing to say. No more labor/birth horror stories or advice about pregnancy or "warnings" about life with a newborn.

I love it- it's so freeing! I don't know if it's just me and the people I know but I'm being treated way differently than before. I guess it makes sense but it's just nice to walk around pregnant and not be treated like someone who's pledging the mom sorority but knows nothing about the secret initiation yet. I am enjoying this pregnancy at least 20% more because of this. Smile

suscq · March 2009

like someone who's pledging the mom sorority but knows nothing about the secret initiation yet

I LOVE IT!!

localbs05 · March 2009

I totally agree, and when I actually have a legit question for the doc, they don't give the "oh your just a first time mom" snicker! It's nice to be taken a little more seriously

j9lovey · March 2009

I have noticed this too and I love it! The only thing I hear now is "wow, you are going to have your hands full!" I am just sick of hearing how hard my life is going to be with two kids under two.

prettyshoes · March 2009

I agree- I'm getting no condescending advice or horror stories. It's like I've passed some secret test or something. Love it!

robin house · March 2009

Same here. I say no, and the worst I get now is, "Oh- so you're gonna have your hands full" or "You know what to expect then".

Which is better...considering the horror stories people would give me with the first

Jason'swife · March 2009

If that's true I'm going to start telling people this is my 3rd. Nice!

Abc123 · March 2009

It's so true!! On the flip side there has been so much I don't remember since I had my daughter that I feel like an idiot sometimes when I'm asking the doctor questions that I'm sure I asked the first time around as well. Haha.

thatgirlang · March 2009

Jason'swife:
If that's true I'm going to start telling people this is my 3rd. Nice!

Try it! LOL

coldplaygrl829 · March 2009

Right there with all of you. Not many people bother me with silly L&D stories or pregnancy woes once they know this is my 2nd - and I love it. What I've noticed, though, is that other expectant moms have been asking me for advice. Have any of you noticed this happening? I generally don't mind, as long as they don't expect a medical diagnosis from me. It's kind of nice to be "on the other side" for a change.

hunnybunny2021 · March 2009

I still get a good amount of unsolicited advice with this one... I tend to get advice from people who have two children of similar ages/similar age gap. Or the ever famous "wow, you are going to have your hands full!"

I envy you getting less of this... I was hoping for that, but it hasn't worked out that way for me.

thatgirlang · March 2009

coldplaygrl829:
Right there with all of you. Not many people bother me with silly L&D stories or pregnancy woes once they know this is my 2nd - and I love it. What I've noticed, though, is that other expectant moms have been asking me for advice. Have any of you noticed this happening? I generally don't mind, as long as they don't expect a medical diagnosis from me. It's kind of nice to be "on the other side" for a change.

Well, right now most of the pg women I know are 2nd time moms too so we all go to eachother with questions/experiences but it doesn't feel like any of us depend on the other that much because we've all been there.

coldplaygrl829 · March 2009

thatgirlang:
coldplaygrl829:
Right there with all of you. Not many people bother me with silly L&D stories or pregnancy woes once they know this is my 2nd - and I love it. What I've noticed, though, is that other expectant moms have been asking me for advice. Have any of you noticed this happening? I generally don't mind, as long as they don't expect a medical diagnosis from me. It's kind of nice to be "on the other side" for a change.

Well, right now most of the pg women I know are 2nd time moms too so we all go to eachother with questions/experiences but it doesn't feel like any of us depend on the other that much because we've all been there.

I'm sure it's great to have a network of people close to you that you can talk with about "baby things." I wish I had that around here. Most of the questions I've been fielding about pregnancy have been from first time moms, so I try to be as helpful as possible (since I know how scary it can be).

IselaCid · March 2009

This is sooo true! I didn't even realize it!

acherryfamily · March 2009

I wasn't at my current job last pregnancy, so there's that excitement level again (All the ladies in my office are 45+). They don't really share labor stories, some of their stories are actually interesting. There is one girl that works in our Ag dept that says "Hi Preggo like the spaghetti sauce" It's so annoying. Everytime she says it, I tell her "I have a name, you should try using it, I might respond" She just laughs. She's really nice, I just don't know what to say to her to get her to stop. I don't even care if they blame it on pregnancy horomones, as long as she stops.

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