anyone else feel so alone?

get_over_yourself · March 2009

my bff is due in sept knew about my pregnancy and m/c and I feel like since then she never talks to me anymore. She used to e-mail/ call every day with this is happening, what do you think of this, when should I tell this person- she has been my bff since for almost 20 years. Since the m/c last week she has e-mailed me one time. I e-mail her and don't get a response for 2 days. I am just really hurt by it. I feel like she is just glad it is not her.

then today another friend just announced she is pg too. I feel like I am surrounded by pg people. My dh has been wonderful through everything and I just called him and said- guess what- [friend] is pg too, I am really really bummed. His response- oh yeah? we'll get our turn. But not at all symapthetic- very very flip. I just said- thanks for understanding have a good day and hung up (real mature huh?) he called back and apologized but it just feels like no one understands this- I am sure I will 'get my turn' but I lost my child! I am sad, I am hurt. when I do get my turn it will not bring back this baby I am so sad for.

xleslieraex · March 2009

::big hugs:: We know how you feel. We've all been there. ::bug hugs::

elvis_cbw · March 2009

I'm sorry for your loss. I think everyone feels alone and that no one else knows what they are going through when they lose a baby. I know I felt like that and sometimes I still feel that way, although it isn't as constant as it used to be. DH was upset but was not as devastated as I was, but that is understandable. He didn't have the baby growing inside him.

I think your friend probably is glad that it isn't her. That doesn't mean that she doesn't feel bad for you. I know when I was on the tri boards, everytime someone came in and said they were leaving because of a M/C, first I would think what a terrible thing to happen to her and second thank God it's not me. Maybe she has been told, or feels that you may not want to talk to her because she is pregnant. Maybe she feels that giving you your space will be the best thing for you. If it was my friend, I would probably call her and talk to her. See what is going on. There is nothing wrong with asking for support.

jrosehistory · March 2009

I know what you mean my cousin is pregnant due in Sept and has not once called me to say to she is sorry for my loss. It does hurt but I have found out that sometimes people just don't know what to say for fear of hurting me. A simple 'I am sorry' is always nice and acknowledges my loss. My husband has always been so wonderfully supportive he always tells me soon it will be our turn again and we will have our miracle baby. Someday I will be ready to TTC again but right now I just need to heal. I have found people who have never suffered through this don't really understand what we are going through which is why I like staying on this board talking to other women who know what I am going through and understand me. Know you are not alone and we are always here for you. I am so sorry for your loss and sending you lots of hugs and support!!

Jaime Hecksher · March 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this. I've never felt so alone in my life. I also am getting angry again. I am angry that my friend tries to compare her situation to mine. Yes we both had miscarriages, but everybody is different and our timeframes were significantly different. My mother told me "I'm sorry. You just need to get over it!" I was devastated. I also think some people don't knwo whaqt to say so they feel saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing.

I guess it's because unless you've gone through it before you don't know how completely horrible it is. I always felt horrible for people who miscarried. I even cried when my best friend told me about hers, but until I had one I never knew the devastation and sorrow it brings.

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