S/O BGG's donor post

Jason'swife · March 2009

If your husband wanted to donate his sperm, would would your reaction be? I can't imagine that very many married men do it, but I'm just curious if anyone would be ok with it.

While I'm 100% in favor of sperm/egg donation, surrogacy, etc. I would never in a million years want DH to donate. I would just feel really weird knowing he had other kids out there. Does that make me selfish? A hypocrite? I can't decide.

StephanieBride1 · March 2009

his sperm are for my use only.

If he had donated before we were together, fine. But not now that we are married.

pokeyswife · March 2009

I would be ok with it if he had done it before we were married and I would never give an egg away now that I am married. I I would be ok being a surrogate for a family member or a friend.

weelass24 · March 2009

Funny, I was going to say if she wanted some of D's she could have it. There's a chance he might spawn a redhead. Stick out tongue

I'm not entirely joking either. I don't think I would mind if D donated, but I think I would want it to be anonymous with no future contact.

BostonGayGal · March 2009

IF I were married to a man I probably wouldn't want him to donate, but might not mind if he had donated before I knew him. ?Not sure why.

sweetpea7628 · March 2009

Eh...I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with him donating his sperm after we were married and already had kids together. Just as he probably wouldn't be all that ok with me donating my eggs.

Jason'swife · March 2009

pokeyswife:
I would be ok with it if he had done it before we were married and I would never give an egg away now that I am married. I I would be ok being a surrogate for a family member or a friend.

That's exactly how I feel. Before= ok. Now= not ok.

So here's another question.... If you were going to be a surrogate, lets say for a family member, would you be willing to use your own egg? How do you think DH would feel about it?

sweetpea7628 · March 2009

Jason'swife:

pokeyswife:
I would be ok with it if he had done it before we were married and I would never give an egg away now that I am married. I I would be ok being a surrogate for a family member or a friend.

That's exactly how I feel. Before= ok. Now= not ok.

So here's another question.... If you were going to be a surrogate, lets say for a family member, would you be willing to use your own egg? How do you think DH would feel about it?

If I were a surrogage (which I would totally be for a close friend or family member) I would NOT be ok with using my own eggs. To me that would be my child if it were my egg. It would have to be someone else egg and sperm hanging out in my ute.

Manalyzer · March 2009

No, I don't think I'd want him to donate. Maybe before we got married/met, but I don't know...

StephanieBride1 · March 2009

Jason'swife:
pokeyswife:
I would be ok with it if he had done it before we were married and I would never give an egg away now that I am married. I I would be ok being a surrogate for a family member or a friend.

That's exactly how I feel. Before= ok. Now= not ok.

So here's another question.... If you were going to be a surrogate, lets say for a family member, would you be willing to use your own egg? How do you think DH would feel about it?

No, I would not use my own egg. That child would be mine, and I would not be able to give it to someone else.

weelass24 · March 2009

Jason'swife:

So here's another question.... If you were going to be a surrogate, lets say for a family member, would you be willing to use your own egg? How do you think DH would feel about it?

I would not want to use my own egg. I'd feel like the child was "mine" instead of "theirs". I would donate an egg to someone I didn't know and I would only surrogate using someone else's embryo.

I would do both today and a couple years from now. I think D wold be against donating or using one of my eggs under any circumstances, but would be OK with me being a surrogate if I wanted to do that.

pokeyswife · March 2009

sweetpea7628:
Jason'swife:

pokeyswife:
I would be ok with it if he had done it before we were married and I would never give an egg away now that I am married. I I would be ok being a surrogate for a family member or a friend.

That's exactly how I feel. Before= ok. Now= not ok.

So here's another question.... If you were going to be a surrogate, lets say for a family member, would you be willing to use your own egg? How do you think DH would feel about it?

If I were a surrogage (which I would totally be for a close friend or family member) I would NOT be ok with using my own eggs. To me that would be my child if it were my egg. It would have to be someone else egg and sperm hanging out in my ute.

This exactly.

nlvaden · March 2009

I would not want my DH to donate his sperm, however he has two children previously with two other women. I feel extra bad becuase I am the only one that cant get pregnant.

mrsparker2007 · March 2009

I would not want DH to donate his sperm, just as I would not donate my eggs. In the case of surrogacy for a family member, we have actually decided that if my sister needed a surrogate for any reason, that I would do it, and I would use my own eggs; we are identical twins and genetically are pretty much exactly the same, so the children would still get the characteristics of my sister through me

Honeysuckle Rose · March 2009

When we were engaged I donated my eggs. I figured I wasn't using them at the time, so someone else might as well. If DH wanted to donate I'd let him.

Jason'swife · March 2009

mrsparker2007:
I would not want DH to donate his sperm, just as I would not donate my eggs. In the case of surrogacy for a family member, we have actually decided that if my sister needed a surrogate for any reason, that I would do it, and I would use my own eggs; we are identical twins and genetically are pretty much exactly the same, so the children would still get the characteristics of my sister through me

I just watched a show about identical twins where one of them had fertility issues. They actually transplanted a good ovary from one twin into the other one. She went on to have healthy babies.

SoonerBred · March 2009

I don't think i would be ok with DH donating sperm... and I think i would be a surrogate but no way could i use my own eggs.

HopingForOne · March 2009

I honestly don't view genetics as automatically making a "family", so I PERSONALLY wouldn't view it as "her has other kids out there". Just like', because my dad is adopted, I don't think "I could have aunts and uncles and cousins out there who I don't know".

So I probably wouldn't care, other than for the fact that it would seem really out of character for him to want to donate sperm :P

BUT...I don't think you're horrible or hypocritical...if you want hypocritical, consider this: I'm MORE okay with the idea of donating my own eggs than I am with him donating sperm....weird?

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