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*xnbride*

jen-dalejen-dale member
in TTC After a Loss
do you have any updates? you have been on my mind all day, girl!
Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.

Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
2IF does not always equal 3IF...Surprise!
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Re: *xnbride*

  • xnbridexnbride member
    hey thanks for thinking about me.  It is a confirmed chemical pregnancy. Back to square one again.  I really don't know how much more of this I can take.  I think I can only go through one more loss and then I am going back on birth control.  I have one beautiful son and a wonderful life, so I need to be content with what I do have and not so fixated on what I don't.  I really feel that another child is in the plan but I don't know when or how that will manifest.  I am just emotionally exhausted at this point.  I know that God is with me and I know that he will carry me through this.

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

    image

    image

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  • jen-dalejen-dale member

    (((hugs))) I'm so sorry! I know there aren't any words that can comfort you right now.  I will be praying for you and for His plan to be clear in your eyes!

     

    Do you think you will move forward with testing?

    Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
    You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
    After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.

    Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    2IF does not always equal 3IF...Surprise!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Report Reply
  • xnbridexnbride member
    No.  I am not interested in any of the testing except the APS (blood clotting) since that is potentially life threatening.  We will not pursue fertility treatments so there really isn't a point to getting all of it done since it will probably just cause more heartache and grief.  From my experience, knowledge is not always power.  I am going to leave it up to God.  I am just going to let him take charge because he is the only one who can fix me in my brokeness and he is the only one who has my best interest and perfect timing at heart. So I will wait on him as hard that has and will be.   

     

    image

    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

    image

    image

    Report Reply
  • jen-dalejen-dale member
    I admire your faith. I have been really struggling with my relationship with God lately. I have had the APS testing done once as there is a "possible" family history. Those results were "borderline" for one disorder (I dont' know which one) so I have to repeat in a few months. I have been having other issues though. It has been such a struggle. I get so angry and scared sometimes. I will be praying for you to find peace!
    Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
    You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
    After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.

    Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    2IF does not always equal 3IF...Surprise!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Report Reply
  • xnbridexnbride member

    I know how difficult this whole journey/process can be.  I too get angry sometimes and question why I have to endure these things.  Then I think back to the words that a wise female church leader told me which basically went like this:

    The saying that "God does not give you more than you can handle" is pure crap.  The reality is that we live in a sad, fallen and tragic world where bad things happen to good people and if we could make it on our own  then we wouldn't need God.  Ultimately God is there for us the most when the stress and strain of our circumstances are too much to bear.  He is there for us, in the moments when we can't see past our own sufferings; when we feel hopeless and lost.  He is there even in the moments that we feel so far away from him.  When it truly feels as if we are abandoned for God will "lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" Isaiah 42:16

    Lots of love

     

    image

    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

    image

    image

    Report Reply
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