I teach in an elementary school. Last year a colleague of mine had a little girl
who knew all about the actual ACT of sex (i.e. not just about two people getting together- actually HOW it happens)
including what orgasms were. This is b/c her mom thinks it is a good idea to
never hide any truths from her daughter; therefore, when daughter asked
about how babies were made (common question) in Kindergarten the mother
decided to give her a full, detailed explanation of the entire process. I'm all for learning the correct body part names and being knowledgeable, but this is going too far IMO. Why teach your 6 year old about everything included in sex? Let them be innocent!! Childhood only comes once.
Also, this same kid is now 7 and has a Facebook page that mommy helped her create. WTF???? For the life of me I do not see why this is necessary. None of her little friends are on Facebook.
Thoughts? Opinions?
Re: s/o inappropriate content for a child
Agreed! My mom is a nurse and I knew the medical side at a younger age than most kids (i.e. around 7), but in no way did she share the more pleasurable, lustful side of sex at that age. It's her child, but I think that content should be saved till she is older and more able to understand.
I would like to do the whole "Mommy and daddy loved each other so much. And they wanted a baby so daddy put his penis in mommy's vagina and they had sex..." Thing.
I wouldn't try to make it like a porn thing. But I would like DD to understand how it works...
And the Facebook page, IDK... I mean, if there are parental controls so she can't get onto "DudesWithNoPants.com" or whatever then it seems okay...
I have no idea what "innocence" means here but whatev. I have no issue with children knowing the details about sex.?
And Larkster LOL, yeah yeah you just know 7 year old maggie is going to google dudeswithoutpants.com ?
I also work in elementary school and I find that disturbing, Honestly, when we get a child that young that seems to know so much, the first thing we think of is sexual abuse. I also can't imagine why a mother would think it was a good idea for a 7-year-old to have a facebook page.
That being said, my parents were a bit "hippy", and this is how I learned about the birds & the bees: my mother was watching Phil Donohue one day (that tells you how long ago it was!) and I guess she figured I was too young to know what they were talking about, but I'm a busybody & heard something I didn't understand, so I innocently asked "Mom, what's a condom?" Well, don't you know the women marched me upstairs to her bedroom and showed me one?? Then, of course, she had to explain what it was for. She even unwrapped it & showed it to me on a bottle of hair gel!!
I have always found it uber-creepy that that's the way I found out about the birds & bees, but I assure you I grew up in a normal, non-abusive family. DH and I were actually both virgins when we got married (and we were 26 and had been dating for almost 10 years!). I just think mom didn't know how to handle it & had a lapse in judgement, thinking that it was better to be honest than for me to hear a half-truth from someone else. And she made sure I understood that it was something only married people did, and that just like Santa Clause, it wasn't something I should talk about with other kids because their parents may not have told them yet. If I had to guess, I was probably about 7 or so.
It sounds like the situation you're talking about is a pattern of parenting where mom doesn't really know what is age-appropriate, rather than a momentary lapse in judgement. I think the whole thing is disturbing (and if it wasn't my own mom, I'd probably say the same thing about my own story!)
No way on the facebook.
The sex thing, I think that you can not lie to your kids and still not tell EVERYTHING. You have to be age-appropriate about it, and a kindergartener does not need to know about orgasms.
It means I don't think she needs a detailed account of what an orgasm is the exact process as to how it is achieved.
I am fine with a knowledgeable answer of how babies are created b/c I don't think children should be "left in the dark" and deserve to receive informed answers to their questions- to an extent. I think explaining how the act creates extremely pleasurable ejaculation is a little much for her age, and should be left till she's older.
Maybe innocence isn't the correct word here to express what I'm thinking. Anyways, it's just my opinion.
I think we give too much credence to "innocence" here. IMO knowing details does not make one not innocent. Babbling about this and that and vaginas and orgasms IMO is a bit over the top but very innocent.
A friend of mine was telling me her son had a pop up sex book and showed the cashier at the store. Said "Do you wanna thee a PEENITH?" hardly makes the kid not innocent.
I hate that argument. Creeps me out actually. ?