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Bad dream

BoSoxbrideBoSoxbride member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
So it's been 2 weeks and a day since my natural m/c and 2 wks since the d&c. I've really felt pretty good this past week emotionally. My friends have been great about taking me out or having me over, and that's really helped to keep me moving forward and not focusing on my misery and the past. Then two nights ago I had a bad dream, it was actually very strange, in it I was out with DH and some friends including a friend that is due a couple weeks after I would have been due. In the dream I see this strange looking drink and I said "Whoa! What is that? Can I have a sip?" And DH said, "NO, that's for Christine because she's pg." Then I woke up really upset and yesterday driving to Target I just started bawling. I haven't seen this friend since before I knew I was losing the baby but I'm supposed to go out with her and a couple others Monday night. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I'm scared that I'm just not going to be able to deal with being around her now. We're going to a bar/restaurant and obviously she won't be drinking and I just don't know if I can  deal with anyone talking to her about her pg, etc. I'm happy for her but I'm still sad for me.
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Re: Bad dream

  • get_over_yourselfget_over_yourself
    I am sorry, I am dealing with the same thing right now too. I have two very close friends who are pg. I have barely been able to talk to them and when I do (over e-mail) I cry the whole time. I have been avoiding the one who's shower is next week since my m/c and she had no idea why. I finally told her yesterday, I had a m/c and I just can't deal with talking to people right now. I hope you understand it is not you but it is just too hard for me. I am not at all sure how I am going to do at her shower next week, luckily it is a couples shower so dh will be there with me too. But I can't even see beyond that right now, the thought of it hurts too much
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  • eschalleschall
    I agree with PP.  Some of my friendships with pregnant friends have been put on hold until "either I am pregnant or they are not."  It is so very hard to be happy for them, but still have the constant reminder of your loss. If you are uncomfortable with your friend, talk to them about it.  Let them know that you are very happy, but that talking about pregnancy and seeing bellies just brings back your loss. I asked my friends to please wear loose clothes when they started showing so their belly wasn't obvious.  Now that both have moved into their 3rd tri, I communicate through email and usually don't keep as up-to-date with them as I used to.  It might sound mean, but it is what I needed to do to survive.  Good luck Monday. It sounds ironic, but one thing that did help me was to dress up nice in cute sexy clothes and do up myself if I ever was meeting my pg friend.  Then at least the green-eyed jealous monster in me could think about how good I was looking and how dumpy my pg friend looked.  Small and petty of me, but it helped.
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