MIL wants us to come to her house after we leave hospital..

freemand_23 · March 2009

To stay for with them for a few days! She says that we will be more than happy to help out! My SIL and BIL will be home from college so they can also spend quality time with the baby! DH and I agreed that we will stay for about two or three days and head back home! I just hope that I won't regret this decision! lol. My MIL and I are getting along okay, but we do have our moments just like any everyone else! I know that this is a special time for them because this is their first grandchilld! What do you think? I don't mind your real opinions on this!

sherron83 · March 2009

Why can't they stay w/you?? That way you and baby get into a routine...
Just my thought

futureFrench · March 2009

Honestly, I think you'll want to be in your own house, so you can have your own stuff and have some down time and be more "in control" of you and DC. It sounds like you're not super close and I think you'll regret that decision as soon as you get there!

Mrs Luecking · March 2009

I would go insane. I think I will be really ready to get my baby, myself, and my husband into a routine at home.

JillBean78 · March 2009

I'm going to be honest, so don't take this wrong.

Your crazy!

I realize they want to spend time with the baby, but WTF, can they not come to your house??

The last place I'd want to be after delivering a baby is at someone else's home.

I really think you should be at your own house getting adjusted to life with a new baby.

Lulu0802 · March 2009

Wow... I can't imagine going anywhere but home after we have the baby. With all the new things you're learning and the exhaustion, I would just want to be in the comfort of my own home. I think if they want to help out, they should come to your house and help you... not have you go to them.

Steffsjet · March 2009

sherron83:
Why can't they stay w/you?? That way you and baby get into a routine...
Just my thought

I was thinking the same thing.

shannynhall · March 2009

I agree with the PP, you may just want to be in your own home after being in a hospital and you may just want the privacy your own home can provide but someone else's can't.

kklickka · March 2009

My parents and in-laws are coming from out of state to stay with us for the week after DS arrives - I'm excited about it, because I know they all want to meet him and it will be a lot of help, but I'm a little afraid that it will be harder for my husband and I to bond with him because there are so many people around. That would be my only concern in your situation. Nice of her to offer, though!

freemand_23 · March 2009

sherron83:
Why can't they stay w/you?? That way you and baby get into a routine...
Just my thought

Well our home is not big enough, because we only have three bedrooms! Their house is HUGE!

Lovin Wife · March 2009

I get along with my MIL, but I would want to be home. Definitely up to you, but maybe accept the offer like you said you have and then let her know in the meantime that it may change, you don't know how you are going to feel, etc.

beth thacker · March 2009

I would rather have people stay at my house but hey.. help is help! By the way.. I love the name you've picked out for your little girl.

Jami lynn · March 2009

There's no way I'd go stay at MIL's. I wanna bring my baby home afterwards... to her home..... but that's nice of you... I bet my MIL would love for us to stay with her.

Princess_Lily · March 2009

Um. is there a medical reason why your MIL can't stay in your house? I mean, if she's close enough to the hospital to tell you this, then she is close enough to be with you at your home.

Is there a medical reason why she can't leave?

futureFrench · March 2009

In my experience in RL and on these boards, MILs can get super "protective" and "controlling" with grandbabies and I'd want to be in a place where I can get rid of them for a while. You ccan't kick them out of there own house and if you live that far away to where you stay there, you can't just leave at a moment's notice!!

soon2Bclc · March 2009

I think I would just want to be at home where you have everything set up. There is no way I would stay with my IL's after we leave the hospital. Like the pp, why can't she come stay with you? She shouldn't expect that you would want to be staying at someone else's house after you have carried a baby for 40 weeks and just delivered. To me, it's weird. But if it's something you want, then go for it. Just remember that it's a special time for you as well, not just for her as a new grandmother. You are the new parent and have to do what's right for you.

freeburger16 · March 2009

JillBean78:
I'm going to be honest, so don't take this wrong.

Your crazy!

I realize they want to spend time with the baby, but WTF, can they not come to your house??

The last place I'd want to be after delivering a baby is at someone else's home.

I really think you should be at your own house getting adjusted to life with a new baby.

This.

I know you are trying to be nice, but as important as this time is to them with their "first grandchild" it is YOUR BABY. You have to do what feels right to you. If you want to be around others and in someone elses house, cool. If not, don't be afraid to decline.

JillBean78 · March 2009

Do they not live near you?? Can they not drive to see the baby??

rouge411 · March 2009

Wow, you love exclamation points.

My MIL offered to fly out and stay with us for a few weeks to help take care of the baby. I love, love, love my MIL but think it will be better for DH and I to try it alone and get into a routine. I think you might want to hold off on your decision until you get released from the hospital... after two days away from home you might be yearning for your own house and own bed!

cminNJ · March 2009

Personally after having a kid I would want to be in MY OWN HOUSE... Let her visit help you at your place.

CrunchyMama · March 2009

rouge411:
Wow, you love exclamation points.

lol

Ritza · March 2009

I pretty much agree with everyone here.

The decision is yours, I just wish you luck with your final decision and that everything goes smoothly.

JillBean78 · March 2009

rouge411:

Wow, you love exclamation points.

My MIL offered to fly out and stay with us for a few weeks to help take care of the baby. I love, love, love my MIL but think it will be better for DH and I to try it alone and get into a routine. I think you might want to hold off on your decision until you get released from the hospital... after two days away from home you might be yearning for your own house and own bed!

This.

It might sound all well and good now, but when it comes down to it after you deliver you might be thinking why did I tell them I'd stay there.

I say play it by ear and if you want to go there after baby, go and if not go home.

Just tell her you are not sure how you will feel and are waiting to decide until after delivery.

calhoun05 · March 2009

This sounds like my worst nightmare, but every family is different. I think it would be wise to hedge a bit and keep the option open to going straight home if that's what you end up wanting.

jerseygirl81 · March 2009

You will NOT want to be at your MILs house after delivery. Hell, I didn't even want my MIL at MY house in the days immediately following. I would think about this long and hard. Don't discount your own special time because it's her first grandchild. It's YOUR FIRST BABY, and you will need/want a comfortable, familiar environment so you can begin to learn how to be a family.

LovesGreenBay · March 2009

I don't want to tell you that you're crazy, but you're crazy. Smile

Why can't they stay with you? Do you really want to delay bringing your baby to his new home? sleep in your own bed?

I wouldn't make promises to MIL either way, I would honestly play it by ear.

kash27 · March 2009

I agree with everyone else on here. It was nice of your MIL to help but can't she help at your house? I know after the hospital all I am going to want to do is bring my baby to his/her new home, no where else!

GigiFairy · March 2009

mmm.. I guess if you're okay with it. I wouldn't even consider it though. I'll be too tired, too uncomfortable, and excited at the same time. I wouldn't mind them all coming over to my place to spend time together though. I think I would only want to be home.

IU_baby · March 2009

rouge411:

Wow, you love exclamation points.

Ditto.

I adore my ILs, but I want to come back to my own house after leaving the hospital.

nuttybunch · March 2009

I think they should stay with you, too, but that wouldn't allow BIL and SIL to see the baby.

I think it's a nice gesture, but you NEED to make it clear that you'll stay for a few days and not limit it to a number of days. If you say you'll stay for 4 days, for example, and she drives you bonkers, you can't really leave early. If you say 'a few days,' you can stay for one night and not feel bad if you leave early.

schmapril · March 2009

Holy crap!! Are you kidding?!?! There is NO WAY I would go stay at MIL and FIL's house after having a baby!! I would want to be in my own home, in my own surroundings and be able to get baby accustomed to his/her new environment. I agree with PP when they said you will regret this decision. It sounds like something my mom would try to do though. My mom has control issues and would make it sound all nice to get us to do something, but totally take over once we got there. You still have plenty of time to think out the decision and change your mind. Good luck!!

mommacaz · March 2009

DONT DO IT!! lol

Last thing I want would to be at someone else's house when I feel tired and sore. I would want my own bed, and I'm sure you're place is set up for baby the way you want it...routine is always good.

You may change your mind closer to your due date or even after you give birth.

GL!

sanzone · March 2009

I think that's crazy as well. My in laws live across the country and I said that if they come?immediately?after ?she comes they will have to stay in a hotel. ?I think it's a very important time for you, your DH, and DC to get into a routine and bond. Help is great, but it should be at your house where you already have everything for the baby. ?You and your DH would have to haul a ton of stuff to their house and I don't think that's fair of them to ask this of you.

gmj35k · March 2009

No way jose!! The first few days at home are hard, you need to get to know the baby and handle things on your own. My son literally didn't sleep at ALL the first night we were home...it was so hard. But it would have been harder if my MIL was there.

chefleigh2 · March 2009

That would be my own personal hell. it sounds like they're trying to help themselves out, not you. But, it's up to you.

cosmobella · March 2009

You'll be sore, tired, bleeding, and dealing with a newborn. There's no way I'd want to do that anywhere other than my own house.

Bklynnj0118 · March 2009

Steffsjet:

sherron83:
Why can't they stay w/you?? That way you and baby get into a routine...
Just my thought

I was thinking the same thing.

I agree completely. I would want to be in my own home. That is a bit nuts but that is just my opinion. I love my MIL but couldn't imagine going to straight to her house or my own mother's house afer that. They want to help me or see the baby, then they can come to me.

mandarod · March 2009

Ditto all the pp. I get along fine with my ILs, but there is no way in hell I would want to stay anywhere but my own home. If ppl want to come visit, fine, but I also don't want the entire world staying at my house for days on end afterward either. We'll have my mom, sister and MIL take turns helping us out, but I can't do the entire family staying at my house for a week.

CoryBride · March 2009

There's a reason the old expression "There's no place like home!" is so popular. Your house may be smaller, but if they really want to see the baby, they will make do. This is your time, not theirs. Follow your instincts. If you didn't have doubts, you wouldn't have asked for our opinions.

jamie.renee · March 2009

I am pregnant with my 3rd child. After both of my other kids I just wanted to be home. There is no way I would have wanted to go stay with anyone else! Those first few days can be exhausting but I couldn't imagine being at someone else's house to get help. If they really wnated to help could they just maybe come by a little each day and maybe come cook dinner or something? I don't know your situation, but me personally, if I accepted the offer I KNOW I would have regretted it no matter how close I was to someone.

This time around my closest friend here did offer for me to stay with her if something happens--like ending up needing a c-section or something since my husband is not here. But we live on the same street so I would be able to call her and have her here quick if something happened.

Daisy22 · March 2009

After being in the hospital a few times in the plast 2 1/2 weeks there was no where else I wanted to go back home to my own bed. I can imagine that my feelings of wanting my own bed and home will be even stronger once Bailey gets here. I can't imagine staying anywhere else after leaving the hospital.

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