To find out or not find out the sex....

melmax · March 2009

I am still so torn. Part of me wants the BIG surprise of waiting until delivery, and the other planner side is urging me to find out.

U/S is next Tuesday morning. How did week 20 come so fast?!

michaeltrish · March 2009

I am determined not to find out this time if we are so lucky to get pg again. I want a surprise for once in my life. We can buy all the crap later, IMO.

melmax · March 2009

Lol MT....did you find out with your first? I found out with Ava.

michaeltrish · March 2009

Yes, and in a lot of ways, I regret it. However, we didn't find out at the ultrasound itself. We had her write it down and we waited a month and opened it on Valentines Day at a nice dinner.

QuiltMommy · March 2009

I am a BIG planner and I don't like surprises, so it's never been a hard decision for me.

That said - the way I see it, when you find out the gender, you get TWO surprises: one on the day of the ultrasound and one on the day of the birth (what the baby looks like, hair color, height, weight, etc.). We also kept the name of the baby a secret so that when my husband made the calls that she was born he did have a little tidbit of "secret" to share with friends and family.

Honestly, finding out the gender with my last pregnancy really made it real earlier for me. Being able to refer to "her" and "she" helped me bond more and picture what our life would be like with our new daughter.

If I am not able to tell the gender with this baby, I will be very disappointed.

lsufan · March 2009

I think I could have held out if DH had been on board with my plan not to find out. ?He really wanted to know, though, and since I was really curious (despite wanting the surprise) I caved. ?We sort of compromised and agreed not to tell anyone else. ?To make that work, we had to lie and say we didn't find out. ?:) ?I still kind of wish we'd waited, but at least our family will get a surprise! ?The only bad thing is that it's kind of annoying to hear everyone keep saying they're hoping for a girl for us when we already know it's a boy.

cooker71 · March 2009

We didn't find out with Nora, which was the most wonderful surprise of my life, but did find out with this one, mainly so I knew if I needed to start getting boy clothes or could start getting rid of Nora's many girl clothes.

I would not find out if you can. It's such a fun surprise. ?

mollynpatrick · March 2009

We found out with both DS and DD. Like pp I'm a planner and I think it would kill me to not be able to do a nursery, etc. With that said I was a little more hesitant to find out this time but my husband was bound and determined to find out. It wasn't too hard to convince me :-) I agree with the poster who said that finding out is like getting two surprises. Knowing that Evan was a boy made his birthday no less exciting or wonderful (in my mind at least). I couldn't wait to see what he would look like, how much he would weigh, etc and I feel the same way about DD. It made it so much easier (for me) to "bond" with each of them knowing the gender. I also feel like it has been nice knowing that #2 is a girl so we can better prepare Evan by telling him about his baby sister. Good luck with your decision! Your little girl is beautiful, BTW!

Sulla · March 2009

I knew the first time, but not the second.

It's fun!

shouldbeworkin · March 2009

I didn't find out either time. I'm a huge planner and it was fine. I think it was better, actually. It kept me from going over board. I had some gender neutral stuff to get me started and gender neutral nursery decor b/c even if I found out with the first, I wouldn't know what the 2nd child was and wanted to use it again. With DD I had two going home outfits and my mom had instructions to take off the tags of whichever I needed, wash it and bring it to the hospital. It worked out perfectly. I didn't need to buy anything, I got so many gifts both times.

I never felt like it stopped me from bonding with either baby. The 2nd time I thought it helped me stay excited b/c it really wasn't as exciting the 2nd time around, especially not when I was exhausted from chasing a toddler too.

The three greatest moments in my life, in no particular order: 1) wedding ceremony with my DH, 2) having my DH tell me we had a DS, 3) seeing my DH nearly faint out of excitement from seeing his DD for the first time. Nothing can ever compare with those moments and finding out at an u/s just wouldn't have been the same for me.

Oh and the temptation was HUGE before the big u/s, but once it was over the temptation went away and the next 20 weeks were over before I knew it.

jorie · March 2009

I didn't find out with either of my girls, and haven't found out with #3. Hearing "it's a.." is a moment I'll never ever forget. I can remember both times like it was yesterday.

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