Infertility

Argh: Co-irkers and IF.

Usually i like my coworkers, but the idiocy is coming out of the woodwork today. Most of these guys are in their 30's, married dads.

I have had no less than 3 people ask me today if I have kids, and reply with one of the following:

1.  "Oh!  You gotta do it!  It's the most rewarding experience ever."

2.  "You haven't lived till you've had children."

3.  "It really balances you out; you should have children, it would be a great thing for you."

Drive the knife in deeper, thanks.

To be fair, I've not told anybody about our IF treatments, but jeez!   I am one mg of clomid away from replying, "Maybe if we didn't have MF fertility problems, and maybe if I hadn't lost that fluke pregnancy, we would!  Now shut up!"

Re: Argh: Co-irkers and IF.

  • OMG, I had someone come up to me shortly after my M/c and say kids are the best thing about life and I better not wait too long because women get old trying to build up their careers.  Then he asked me how old I am!  I wanted to punch him in the face.  People just are rude.  They have no idea who they are talking to sometimes. 
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  • it's things like that that make me tempted to just be honest with people so that they'll realize their insensitivity.
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  • imagelnle:
    it's things like that that make me tempted to just be honest with people so that they'll realize their insensitivity.

    I may go that route very soon, esp once they kick up my meds.

    The problem is, I don't want people to feel like they CAN'T talk about how happy they are being parents or whatnot... Our IF is my husband's and my problem, not theirs.  Once we are able to have a baby, I wouldn't want to feel like I had to censor myself *just in case* someone overhearing might have fertility issues. 

    But damm, don't act like we're "childless by choice". 

  • I hate these comments! What is even worse is when they know about your i/f issues yet still make these comments.

    Yup, my il's do this all the time.

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  • I don't think I would have been able to hold back. ?Whether I divulged my personal situation or not, I think I might have been given enough pause to say, "You might want to consider that your statement doesn't reflect a great deal of sensitivity. ?Not everyone is childless by choice." ?

    I think #2 is probably the worst of all. ?It demeans the existence of everyone without kids.?

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  • imageqtpa2t:

    Whether I divulged my personal situation or not, I think I might have been given enough pause to say, "You might want to consider that your statement doesn't reflect a great deal of sensitivity. ?Not everyone is childless by choice." ?

    That's perfect! I could have used it a couple of weeks ago when I got a similar comment - something along the lines of "Once you have kids you'll understand..." I think I mumbled something like "You should watch who you say things like that to" before running up to my classroom to hide.?

    ?

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    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
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