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trying not to be pissy...

jswitcherjswitcher
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I had no idea what to expect when m y mom said i have some news i need to tell you...all kinds of things ran through my head.  But I was oh so wrong.  She informed me that my cousin and his girlfriend were expecting.  I'm trying to be ok and happy for them....but it's hard, besides the obvious reasons that I'm still working through all my feelings about our miscarriage.   I keep thinking what kind of parents they'll be.  She works PT and stills lives at home.  He is a bit slow, not working at all, and lives with his parents ( and has a drinking problem....). They've been engaged for almost 2 yrs but haven't even been able to set a wedding date.   And neither of them drive even though they are both in their mid-20s. How will they get to the store..or the dr's. I keep thinking...I lost my baby, and they get to have one....that sucks. Sorry for the ranting...and i know it's bit childish... but it's how i feel...maybe it will get better...i hope.
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Re: trying not to be pissy...

  • My2LittleCanadiansMy2LittleCanadians

    It is okay to feel that way!  I get so mad when I hear about dh's co-worker.  He never wanted kids, he got married (his dw didn't want kids either), he cheated on his dw with a single mother.  Ended up divorcing his dw, and leaving the single mother, for another single mother.  Moved in with her and her ds.  They then immediately decided to have a baby!  He knew so much about parenthood that he was asking dh when she could take an HPT (the day after they dtd).  She got pregnant on the first try and oh yes they are having twins!  He only left his wife a year and a half ago.

    It makes me so mad!

    Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent.  You have a right to your feelings.  Life doesn't seem fair.

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  • Cheerio BCheerio B

    It is completely normal to feel like this. It's hard to hear about any pregnancy right now. It's even harder when you wonder about the parent's ability to handle it. Right now I am ridiculously resentful of a girl at work who is expecting. She and her DH live with his parents, he hasn't had a job in years and I know she hardly makes anything. Logically I know this is none of my business but I just can't help it being angry that DH and I have everything to give and no family to give it to.

    We'll get through this. This really will get easier.

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  • jswitcherjswitcher

    It makes me feel better to know that my feelings are normal.  You guys are right...it will get better and maybe I can even give them some tips that I learned when my son was little ( although that seems forever ago since he's almost 11!)...thanks.

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  • BoSoxbrideBoSoxbride member
    There have been several posts like this lately because unfortunately things like this happen far too often. It's a sad part of life but the fact of the matter is that there's probably more kids born to people that shouldn't be parents than there are to those that would be great parents. Beyond it not being fair for us, think about how not fair it is to the children born to these losers. Eventually you'll have your children and yours will have a wonderful family life, security and the safety that's felt in a stable home. Those children will never have that. And that's what's really sad.
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  • MelissaAB5579MelissaAB5579 member

    You're feelings are totally normal. I still have those feelings sometimes!

    On a side note: You're not too far away from me! :) Hi neighbor

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  • jswitcherjswitcher

    Another St. Louis girl...woohoo! 

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  • lmbarreralmbarrera
    That's exactly how I felt, and still feel... my cousin is also expecting and are pretty much in the same shoes as yours.  I just felt so angry because every day I prayed that my baby would be healthy, and then this happens, meanwhile people that might not be so prepared are having healthy babies!!  I'm glad I'm not alone in how I feel :)
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  • RebandJakeRebandJake member
    I think it's totally normal.  Hearing about pregnancies is always hard... when it's someone you care about, you feel guilty, and when it's someone you don't, you feel angry.  It's really tough.
    BFP #1 = 12/23/08 M/C = 1/5/09 @ 6 w 0 d
    BFP #2 = 3/30/09 DD born 12/9/09
    BFP #3 = 5/17/11 EDD = 1/27/12
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