RE says, "At least we know you can get pregnant."

mrs.oz · March 2009

At my appoinment today with my RE he says to me, "at least we know you can get pregnant. That's the silver lining."

I really wanted to punch him in the throat.

Leah&Cole · March 2009

Ugh.... that is so frustrating! Sorry that you had to hear that!

mrsmiller06 · March 2009

I would have punched him. I absolutely HATE when they say that! (((BIGHUGS))) to you, he's a jerk!

Mrs.EmmaLouise · March 2009

An RE should know better then to say that! What a jerk!!! ((BIG HUGS))

ColindaP · March 2009

What's an RE?

We know some people going through infertility, and my mom did way back when, too. My pregnancy was unexpected, but my husband and I talked about how even though it hadn't been planned right then, at least we know we could get pregnant! Ha. Joke's on us.

I'm sorry, that sucks. Really, really not helpful.

MrsNJTiger · March 2009

That is what my dr. said too. Maybe they are just obligated. I think sometimes people don't think just saying "I'm sorry" is enough.

I am sorry for your loss and your hurt

MrsNJTiger · March 2009

My. Dr. said that too. I think sometimes people just don't think an "I'm sorry" is enough.

I am sorry for your loss..sending you a big hug

jennstacy · March 2009

UGH! If I had a nickel for every time I have heard that in the past few months! And I want to scream..."YES, but what is the point if I can't STAY pregnant?????" Sorry!

peztopper · March 2009

RE = reproductive endocrinologist

?i think my RE said the same thing but i do know all the ob/gyns i saw DEFINITELY said it.

*smack*?

SuzP · March 2009

Yeesh, I'm sorry. Your RE should know better than to say anything so insensitive. I probably would have smacked him, or cried.

I am so sorry, that stinks. Big hugs.

OregonPachey · March 2009

That is awful, I am so sorry. Definitely not something he/she should have ever said to you.

californiastars · March 2009

I hate it when people say that. My mother said that to me and it took everything I had not to hang up on her. I think that is the one phrase that bugs me the most (right behind that is "It will happen, give it time") and it is the one that everyone seems to say.

Mommy816 · March 2009

My OB said it will be alright you can try again. Does he not realize that i am 39 years old and this was a surprise not a planned baby. We werent planning on any more children. It is not always the right answer for anyone dont they realize that. I have to give him credit though he stood there with his hand on my shoulder while I bawled my eyes out ...He coulda just walked outta the room. He kept asking if I was alright...NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT..MY BABY IS DEAD. is what I wanted to scream in his face.

jshay778 · March 2009

Ugh I hate hearing that. I dont know why people say that.

Temp984666312503071 · March 2009

After my first loss a TON of friends and family and my OB said that to me. Well, 12 months later I was dx with "unexplained infertility" and needed IVF with ICSI to concieve. So much for the "silver lining" of my first miscarriage!

I'm sorry he said that to you. I really believe that unless you have experienced loss yourself that you DO NOT understand.

Please excuse my siggy. I hate how you can't remove it for posts on certain boards .

pawleygirl77 · March 2009

You would think an RE would know that is one of the most insensitive things you can say to someone who's lost a baby!

I heard this all the time from normal people but I give them a pass because most people don't know what to say to someone in that situation.... an RE should know better, though!

My2LittleCanadians · March 2009

I hate that sentence. I have heard it several times. After each one of my losses that is the first thing alot of people say to me.

The other line I got this time (I have gotten in the past but this is the first time it REALLY irked me) was "well you should be thankful you have 2 children, and a girl and a boy as well!" Okay, one I am thankful for my 2 children. They are the light of my life, that doesn't make losing a baby any easier. Two, I am not having children to have certain genders. Yes it is wonderful to have one of each, but it would be just as wonderful to have 2 boys or 2 girls!

It was my aunt who said this to me this time. She is the same aunt who sent me an invite to her dil's babyshower the day I got out of the hospital for this ectopic.

coolteacher79 · March 2009

Wow. You would think in his line of work he would know better... I am so sorry...

GreenEggs&Ham · March 2009

If this upset you - then it sucks.

I guess I HATE when people say that to me, but when someone in teh medical field says it, i dont mind as much....funny....

i guess i interpret it as more of a diagnostic thing, like the Dr is ruling out potential causes and thinking over a diagnosis. Maybe I give the dr too much credit, but that is why it doesnt bother me from a dr - but dOES bother me from family/friends.

jenifer123 · March 2009

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Its funny how people just don't get it. My DH said that to me and I really wanted to punch him. I screamed at him something like, but what good is a pregnancy if it means carrying a child for 15 weeks and then losing him!?!?!

But in his defense, I never thought I could get pregnant. This pregnancy was through ovulation induction and I was surprised that I got pregnant. But still.... GRRR! People can be so insensitive without meaning to be. I think they are just grasping to find something to comfort us, and don't know what to say.

TessCPDF · March 2009

That sucks. I'm sorry your RE was so insensitive. Hugs for you and throatpunches for him!

Erika0831 · March 2009

I'm sorry that your doctor would be that insensitive. I get so angry when people have said that to me. I know I can get pregnant. I want to know that I can carry the baby full term so that I can the child that I've always wanted. People don't think and him being a doctor he should have known better. Hearing that doesn't make you feel any better about the situation. Lots of ((hugs))

4jewels · March 2009

I know how you feel. My own family said that to me after my m/c. I guess they felt the need to say that, b/c two of my SILs are having difficulty getting pregnant. It bothered me at the time, b/c it seems like they just did not get it.

Imanurse03 · March 2009

I'm so sorry; that is really insensitive. I know my RE said that with my 1st loss. And here I am 6 months later with my 2nd loss and no baby. I've had other people say that to me as well but you'd think the RE would have more brains. I just want to scream at them. Hugs to you.

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