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Are grandparents helpful?
This is a big debate in my household. The answer is yes and no.
My mom watched the girls this afternoon so I could run errands. Helpful. When I got home she had just bathed Elizabeth. Also helpful. About an hour later she says to Sarah, "I left the water in the bath tub. Do you want to take a bath now?"
Um, no, please don't assume you will bathe my 3yo in bath water that's been sitting there for an hour. Chances are the 1yo peed in it, by the way. WTF??? Would my mother want to take a bath in someone else's cold dirty bathwater? Not so helpful.
Help me understand - did she think it would be wasteful to draw two baths for the girls? I just don't get it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Are grandparents helpful?
Not to mention the fact that no amount of water left in the tub is ever safe.
I am right there with ya. Aren't the generational differences amazing? Not to mention common sense. It drives me nuts though I feel bad sometimes for being annoyed as I know the intentions are good.
By my own choice I don't really have a relationship with my parents and although DH's parents are very sweet, they are well into their 70's (bless their hearts) and not too quick to respond through no fault of their own. I would be so lucky as to be in their shape at that age. Still, I don't feel comfortable leaving DS in their care in case something happened. I just don't think they'd be able to act quickly enough nor be aware enough in cases where seconds matter. I've been there a couple times and had to intervene when reaction time wasn't kicking in. I only needed to see that once to know I'd never leave him alone in their care. So if they are around, I am right there supervising anyway. So I'd say they certainly can be helpful, just not with things directly related to the care and feeding of DS.
Both my parents and my ILs are amazing. We are so so fortunate. That said, they do sometimes do silly things. My dad nearly gave Natalie a bite of Rocky Road ice cream when she had barely started rice cereal. She probably would have been fine, and I'm sure he did stuff like that with my sister and I, but I had to stop him. And my ILs pulled down DH's crib from the attic to assemble for Natalie to take naps in over there. I'm just not comfortable with a 33 year old crib...it may likely be just fine, but what if, ya know? They haven't assembled it yet, so I'm procrastinating on having the conversation. That's why we bought the travel crib in the first place.
All that to say, Natalie has some fantastic grandparents. They adore her and she loves them.
That's awesome that your mom cleans and does laundry. Super super helpful.
I re-read my post and it does sound ungrateful. I'm thankful for the babysitting but I need to come to terms with the fact that the grandparents aren't ever going to do things the way I would. Honestly, that's why I pay a babysitter most of the time rather than ask my parents or ILs to keep the girls.
j+k+m+e | running with needles
IL's are very helpful, at times very overeager to take care of Jakob. It can get a little annoying sometimes, especially if I'm in the room and telling him to do/not to do something and they have to chip in and talk over me. But other than that they are great, they love to take him for the weekend so when we really need to get stuff done we take them up on the offer. (Like this weekend we are building the truck and they offered so we accepted.) MIL is also the type that never sits down so she's always cleaning my house - she goes crazy because we have a husky/wolf mix who sheds even when he's not moving so she probably sweeps the house like 4 times throughout the day. LOL
My parents are also helpful (will do some stuff around the house), but my mom is becoming quite the flake. I've posted vents about her before, she will commit to watching him - she doesn't work - but then will end up planning something with friends and back out. Or she will say she'll be over at a certain time and DH is counting on that, and she'll be an hour late and then want to leave early so that heaven forbid she doesn't hit traffic on the way home. It's gotten to the point that DH would rather not get a darn thing all day than ask for her help, because in all honesty she's not been much help lately. They have never volunteered to take Jakob for the weekend. My parents love him a lot and my dad would love to spend lots of time with him but he's in the oil business so he works long hours, and he has to go back over to Malaysia for at least a month if not longer. So it'll be just my mom and her flakey self.
My parents = super helpful. Above and beyond (hello, my mom vacs my mini-blinds).
DH's Mom and her BF = pain in the butt.
Pics by Fleurish Imagery
Can I borrow your mom? I'll trade you one unhelpful mom and a semi-helpful MIL.
j+k+m+e | running with needles