How would you feel if....

sarahryandrewlo · March 2009

Your mom was not at your baby shower??

She told me yesterday that she may be out of town (my sister is graduating from Law School the same time) Background- I asked her when she was going out of town, she said she wasn't, I told my SIL that date was fine. Now she says she may be OOT. WTF?? I was pissed. At first my sister say's, oh don't worry about it, I don't really care if anyone is here-its no big deal. Now she wants my parents there....

How would you feel? My SIL is throwing it, and its not like its going to be all friends or anything- it will be family and friends ect. I am totally hurt and I don't think she gets it....

NDwife07 · March 2009

I would feel totally hurt, like you do. Can you talk to her about it? Maybe she's like my mom and trying to be less of a "bother", when in actuality she's not being a bother at all.

mfransdell · March 2009

Hmm. Is there a way to compromise? Are they planned for the same day? Maybe your mom can fly out last minute after your shower or your sisters graduation? Talk to your mom and maybe you can come up with a solution, dont be too hard on her though it's got to be tough to decide between 2 big events in both your daughters lives at the same time you know?

Neudorfer · March 2009

i would be sad, but honestly- a graduation of her daughter (especially law school, thats a great accomplishment!) is much more important than a party- it would be much different if she was missing the birth- but its a 3 hour party of gift giving and silly/stupid shower games.

julygal · March 2009

I would be disappointed if my mom hadn't been at my shower. However, I can see how it is a real conflict of interest for her, as daughter's baby shower and daughter's law school graduation are big milestones for both of you and celebrations she would want to be a part of. Is there a way for her to do both the shower and graduation?

Dulaney · March 2009

I would be very upset if my mom wasn't there. But I'm sure your sis would be equally hurt for no one being at her graduation. Could your parents maybe split up, dad go to graduation and mom go to shower?

Kery1499 · March 2009

I would be upset. My Mother and I are very close. She is the number 1 person I would want there no matter what. (and would kind of expect her to be) kind of like a given. I would talk to her and tell her that you are upset. GL

peachypear · March 2009

I understand that you're upset because originally your mom said she'd be there. But it seems like your mom is really in a tight spot of choosing between her daughters. Your baby shower is a big deal - but graduating from law school is really huge too.

Can you change your shower date? It seems like the best situation for everyone is to have your shower on a different weekend then your sister's graduation. And she can't control her graduation date.

volleydiva · March 2009

I would be very upset too, but at the same time, I understand that your sister wants your parents there. I would see about changing the date. Good luck.

JCM052707 · March 2009

I'd be upset too, but I'm wondering why, even if your mom said originally she'd be in town, you'd schedule your baby shower for the same day/weekend your sister is graduating law school... that just seems odd to start with and seems like it would have split family focus. I would have picked a different date from the start. Can you change the date?

BeeLove · March 2009

that sucks

...can you do another weekend? I know it's a pain but I would try to make both work.

NewMrs07 · March 2009

I would be pissed.

KelliLynee · March 2009

Is there anyway she can do both? Are the events on the same day or is she making your sisters graduation into a long weekend or something? A college graduation is a big deal & even if your sister didnt originally want anyone there, you have to understand that it may be important to her.

I really hope she is able to make it to both so she doesnt have to choose!

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