Did your friendships change?
I'm wondering if any other moms have noticed that their friendships have changed since having a baby. I'm the only one of all my friends who has a baby, so things have been different with the girls.
With most of them things have changed but are still postitive. They take a real interest, understand that I don't have the same time I used to and don't get annoyed if I don't return calls right away.
With a couple though, things have really changed. I know there's a a few who don't really know how to relate to me now that there's a baby and who don't take any interest at all. I wish they would just be upfront about it instead of pretending to be interested and caring. They also seem to expect my availability to still be the same as it was before. They don't get that I'm much busier now and can't drop everything to hang out.
What were your experiences?
Re: Did your friendships change?
yes and no
Can you believe 2 of my closest friends still haven't come over to meet DD? One openly admitted she resents me.... (wtf?)
Meanwhile, all my other friendships remain awesome, and they understand my life change.
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Clayswife - We're experiencing the same thing - we never get called to go out anymore.
Nat - She resents you? Is she TTC and having difficulty?
Kristin - I remember your post from a couple of weeks ago about the drama with your friends on your NF trip. Have they said anything about it yet?
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On the other side of things (as in we have no kids but have lots of friends who do) I can say that our relationships have remained the same. We understand that they have a baby now and that we need to sometimes work with/around that. But we also love that. Our friends haven't really changed their lives too much now that they are parents (we still go camping, have parties at their places etc etc).
I guess I don't get why people would change their relationship with someone just because they have kids. Life is too short to have people in your life who are douches.
Nope. Single and dates losers - wants to get married and have kids, but I've tried to gently suggest that she ditch the a-hole losers she picks, bc if she stays on that road, it ain't gonna happen this decade.
So much! None of my friends have kids. A few of the wives of H's friends have had babies this year. We have been become forced friends. KWIM? If it weren't for the babies we would never be expected to be friends but since we all had kids why wouldn't we want to be BFFs is the H's POV.
My own friends have stopped calling/emailing except 2. They are pretty good but one always has silly suggestions about what we should do...like go over to her place and drink a bunch of wine that she made and I can stay there for the night. No concept of BFing. Another is having TTTC and is tough to talk to these days.
I basically lost all my friends. There are a few that live out of town that always make a point to come visit when they are around, and we have one other couple who hang out often, but other than that, no one. They don't call, they don't come visit, they don't return phone calls, and don't even facebook back.
That said, it does force me to try and make new friends. I know a few people that have just had kids or are expecting, and I am trying to connect with them and widen my circle of friends.
I think people just suck because they think change is bad.