- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
VENT Why can't I go to the grocery store?
I wanted DH to watch the kids so I could go to the grocery store by myself today. I don't want to take DS out tomorrow b/c it's going to be 30 degrees. Also b/c he is going to pedi on Tues for his shots and I want to have the house cleaned tomorrow in case he doesn't feel good all day Tues. DH said why do you have to go today, can't you go tomorrow after I get home from work? He gets home at 6 and by the time dinner is cleaned up it's time for DS's bedtime routine. And DH will not give DS a bath and feed him. This just really ticks me off that I can't run to the store for an hour!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: VENT Why can't I go to the grocery store?
This for sure. I'd go. What can he do? Unless he wants a dirty house on tuesday or no dinner tomorrow night.
Why will he not bathe or feed him?
I would simply say, I am going to the store today or you can give him a bath and dinner tomorrow. You are more than a sperm donor, you are a Father, welcome to the club. That job description includes all forms of care to sustain life. If I wanted a sperm donor I could get one w/o the bitching from you.
Time for him to put on his big boy daddy pants and step up.
I don't want to cause a huge fight over the grocery store.
me too....of couse, i have the other problem, I'll want to go somewhere with the baby and DH always has to tag along....but doesn't really do anything around the house anymore...hmmmm
It should not be a fight in the first place.
That is a pretty crappy situation he has you in.
Like I said give him a choice, today or tomorrow, if tomorrow he does bath and dinner. Thems da choices. If he starts a fight tell him to cut the crap and grow up.
I could not stay in a marriage where DH behaved like that!
That's unfortunate that it'd cause a huge fight, because I would go anyway too. He can man up and watch the kids for awhile. This would not fly in my house.
I SAH and he works, it's not his job to do the bath and dinner.
If that causes a huge fight, you guys need to sit down for a chat and get some things resolved.
Whoa - yikes! Not his job? He's the kid's father, of course it's his job. I SAH/WAH, and if DH told me it wasn't his "job" to give DS a bath just because he works out of the house, I'd throttle him.
Lol, I SAH too, it was his job the day he got you pregnant. Or does he on participate in the fun stuff and you get all the crap? If I cook, he does the dishes, if I am doing the dishes, he is doing bath time. If he is busy I will take out the garbage for him, if I am busy he will make dinner. You both can share both roles. You do what needs to get done, does not matter who does it. We work hard to get the house and kids straight so we can have free time together. That include grocery. If he won't LET you go, give him a list and have him stop in the way home tomorrow.
If he told me it was not his job I'd punch him in the throat. My mom gave my Dad a black eye for a comment like that 35 years ago.
:::rubbing eyes in disbelief::: Odd, I could've sworn my calendar says 2009.
Uh, I'm currently at home and dh does bath, bottle and bedtime every night after he gets home from work. He does it to spend time with his kid and to also give me a break.
That said, it's really no ones "job". It's called parenting your child. It's both of your roles. He's just being a lazy jackass. Don't let him be.
The ONLY thing he does while at home is take the trash out. I do the rest.
Just because you are a SAH doesn't mean that DH can't help.
My DH works from 2:30 PM- 1:30 AM (M-Sat) and will take care of DS when he's home. This AM he didn't get to bed until 9 AM because he let me sleep, etc.
I remember you posting the other day about his lack of interest in your child. Is he the same way with your oldest? I'd SO not tolerate that in my house and we'd be in therapy quicker than you can blink.
What's not his job?? To help you and you help him? Uh, it is his job to be a father and part of that job description is for him to be a good husband as well and watch the kids for no more than an hour so you can go grocery shopping for your family. Its team work.
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
So if you both worked, nobody would feed or bathe your child? ?
I'm really taken aback by the inequity of this. ?You work 168 hours a week (24/7) and your DH probably works 40 or so? ?He needs a ?reality check.?
You work too, you just do it at home instead of elsewhere. You are taking care of a child and a house. Just because he works somewhere else does not mean he gets to sit around when he gets home. If you've worked all day at home and there are still things that need to be done, it is BOTH of your responsibilities. If you worked outside of the home I'm sure you'd expect help after work. Why should it be any different now?
I'm staying at home, and my baby isn't even born yet. DH has his nights to make dinner, and I have mine. Whoever doesn't cook cleans up after dinner. This is not something I have to nag about, it's just the way we run our house. It's called being a team, and your husband needs to learn about it.
I am so sorry you are in this position.
But you work 24/7, DH gets a break when he gets home. Something you never get.
That is ridiculous. He should be helping around the house. I SAH and MH always helped out a little. Now that DS is here he helps out a lot more. He cooks dinner every single night. He also goes to the grocery store. He'll help with the dishes and the laundry. The only thing he'll refuse to do is vacuum for some reason. Even a SAHM needs a break every once in a while. Tell him that either you're going to the grocery store or he can.
I don't mind doing all of the house stuff. Maybe he could hold the baby for a bit each day and I could go to the store for a few hours each weekend w/o it being an issue.
Um, whoa. Bottomline: somebody needs to go to the grocery store. He can either do it himself, or he can take care of HIS baby while you go. It's really that simple.
If you want to be generous, give him the choice. If you want to make it clear, get your purse and leave.
No neither of those will happen. I'll end up cleaning doubletime tomorrow and taking DS to the store w me.
Do you want to be 60 years old and his personal maid/cook/assistant? Let him get away with being a jackass now and he will only get worse with age.
Sounds like your husband has it made.
i say screw the cleaning. when he complains, tell him exactly what he could have done to avoid the situation he is unhappy about. DH and i work it out so that i go to the grocery store for some me time, which sounds sort of lame but works for me. i do whatever errands i want, even just go get a cup of coffee and sit by myself for 20 minutes, and then get the groceries without baby. during the day baby and house are my responsibility, but when DH gets home at night we are both "home from work" and share the responsibilities of the house. same goes for weekends.
Well then, get used to it, because nothing will change unless you expect/demand more out of your husband.
Tell DH too effin bad. You're going.
But why can'tyou go just because it will be 30 degrees? I take my DC out in much colder than that - not much of a choice sometimes. lol
But yeah I totally get the other reasons. Tell DH to suck it up, big boy.
Newsflash: a PARENT'S JOB is to bathe a baby. To say it's not a working dad's job to bathe his kid is medieval.
If you're the family cook, that makes sense and all-- but if you don't go to the store-- or he doesn't get off his pamperedass and do it-- there won't be anything to cook.
Go to the grocery store and let your lazyass husband parent his kid. I feel sorry for you and your sweet baby.
Well, then quit your biitching, since you're just deciding to put up with his shiity behavior.
I hope you teach ds to treat his wife better. His dad sure isn't a good role model.
DS 09/2008