I need some encouragement...
I was pregnant briefly but had a miscarriage two days after Xmas. How about that for a "gift?" Anyway, I just completed cycle one and have moved on to cycle two since the m/c. I was really hoping that we would get pg the first cycle out of the m/c but it didn't happen. I bawled my eyes out - silly, I know, since it was only one cycle. Anyway, this cycle is lost and gone because my DH is in Europe for work for two weeks...yep, next week is my O week (according to counting the days from the start of AF - I don't chart or anything). So March may be out.
I guess I am just really bummed. I'm 37 and afraid that I will NEVER get pregnant. I have been hanging out at the TTCAL board. Those girls are so wonderful and have become like family to me. But they are all younger than me - some much younger. So I guess I needed to reach out to those of you who are over 35 for some encouragement.
Plus, to top it all off...my DH's sister is pg and will be finding out the sex on March 5. I am still having a really hard time with that - STILL. She is 24 and everything is just going perfect...just like everything seems to in her life.
Anyway, needed a place to vent where my peeps over 35 might understand. Thanks!
Re: I need some encouragement...
Hi ~ My best advice is to remain hopeful and have a positive outlook. It makes all the difference!
Please know that I can relate to how you are feeling. I miscarried (way back) in July 2007 and I remember crying many cycles since then when I haven't gotten pg. I am now onto cycle 17 (or maybe 18? I am losing count unfortunately) and I keep telling myself everyday that having a positive outlook means everything. I will be 37 in a few weeks and I am still very hopeful that everything will work out and I will get a BFP soon. I actually just spoke to one of my doctors this morning and we re-hashed everything that has gone on since my m/c - and she even said that I shouldn't worry yet... So please continue to have hope and maintain an optimistic attitude - it really helps.
You'll notice that this board is pretty slow, but the quality of the ladies here is what makes it a great place to come to when you need support. I wish you the best. (Also, my husband is originally from Tucson... We are in a much colder climate, so I am jealous of your beautiful weather!)
Thank you GBW. I am sorry for your loss. May I ask if you do all the charting and stuff? I don't and DH doesn't really want me to. He thinks it would kinda take away from...I don't know...the intimacy and stuff. Which I kinda think too.
Anyway, I am originally from Louisville, Kentucky and have only lived out here for 3 years. I definitely like the winters here better! But you are from one of my favorite cities!!! And I am a HUGE Steelers fan!!!!!
I am sorry for your loss. I am 37 and I am now on cycle 10. I do chart and have learned a lot about my body. It can take the romance out of sex but I never tell my DH when I am fertile.
It's hard seeing others get pregnant and I am working on my own issues with that. But I do understand. Good luck to you.
So did you cheer for the Steelers or the Cardinals in the Super Bowl?
Even though my DH is from AZ, he's been here in Pgh. for a long time, so there was no question that he'd be rooting for the Steelers!!! The next time we go to AZ to visit family, I plan to rub the win in a little bit just for fun...
I'm actually not charting or anything anymore. I stopped about three months ago. It can take away from the intimacy and it can also be very stressful for some women. I was one of those women!
Many ladies like to chart, use OPKs, or monitors though and I think I am actually going to get out my monitor (CBEFM) for next month because I've noticed that I miss knowing the exact day when I ovulate. I don't miss the charting though. While it was very helpful/informative, it was just too much stress for me.
I am also very sorry for you loss - especially knowing that you had to go through the loss right after Christmas... I wish you the best...
Hi and welcome! I will tell you that counting the days from the start of your cycle isn't a very good predictor of O because it can shift for various reasons. I chart and use a CBEFM. I don't make a big deal about charting. DH wakes up at 6. When the alarm goes off, I quick temp, remember the number and go back to sleep. I am getting used to remembering the number but I used to write it down on a little pad I kept close to the bed. Then, I record the temp on FF during breakfast. DH doesn't know the better and has NEVER seen my chart. The CBEFM is a little trickier but he doesn't really pay attention. Knowing when you O helps you time better.?
Of course, all this advice is from someone who is not KU, so take it however you want! Oh, and I turned 38 yesterday. I see my new OB/GYN tomorrow so we'll see how that goes.?
First off I want to say I'm sorry to hear about your m/c. As you can see down below that I had my share of m/c and issues/time getting pg. How long have you been TTC? I did use the CBEFM and temped and it really helped me start to figure out my cycle.
I am really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. What horrible timing too. When I am getting down, I remind myself of all the people I have heard about who took a long time, but it happened eventually! Hang in there. It WILL happen to you too, but it might not happen right on your schedule.
As far as charting, I have found it really, really helpful. I think part of the stress of TTC for me is the lack of control, and it makes me feel a little more in control of things. I also like knowing exactly when to expect AF, so I know if I am really late or not. I know some people stop temping after they ovulate because they find watching their temps during the 2ww stressful, so you might want to try it that way. I also use OPK's, but I don't tell DH. I think we need to keep it from seeming like a science project. I just tell him I am ovulating and he doesn't really question how I know.
Welcome to the board!
It is nice to be on a board with people closer to this age. I'm sorry this month is out for you, that really sucks. I know how you feel about your SIL, My sister, who is 3 years older than me, started TTC after me and is now 2 months pg.
Anyway, welcome.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 37 will be 38 in July. I m/c this past December and had d/c in December. Please dont give up hope, hope is what keeps us going. Dont let IF win the battle. I've felt like that as well especially after the m/c but I told myself if I give up hope, I have nothing left. Please use us to vent away, we are all going through the same thing and this board is an amazing source of support.
I know exactly what you mean to see how people can get pregnant right away and how everything is so easy for them. Its so not fair especially when you want this so badly. It makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, why and WTF!
We just had our ER with IVF#2 and hoping and praying this will be the one for us.
I'm sending you some great big ((((HUGS)))))
Hi, I'm sorry for your m/c. How long have you been TTC? Don't lose hope. I'm 38 and I charted and used OPKs for almost a year and then finally, I bought a CBEFM and got lucky on the first cycle using it. Maybe it's more accurate than other methods, who knows. I know another friend my age who also took a year to conceive. And I know others who took much longer but it worked out in the end, either naturally or with ART. Just keep trying and get some fertility testing at around 6 months, if you haven't already. I did that after 8 months TTC and at least it gave me peace of mind that there wasn't anything wrong with either DH or I, just possibly my age and "older" eggs.
We're vouching for you, good luck!
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
I am sorry for your loss. I hope that this board is helpful, I know it is for me. I just started charting and I think it's interesting. Sure am learning alot.
I like what JillAlly said "It may take longer for us sometimes but it's that much sweeter because we go through more to achieve it".
GL!
Hey there
Just wanted to say that I am TTCAL girl and I am 37, just like you. I had my m/c in September last year and have been trying since October. I am currently on 5th cycle post m/c - 7th overall.
Best of luck to you. I am sorry that DH is out of the country for this cycle, but he'll be back and you will be on your way again!
Don't give up!!!! I am 40 and am 9 weeks pg! I did chart - used "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" book and software - a fun and great way to chart. I also used ovulation tests and did one cycle of Clomid, and that cycle I concieved!
We tried for 6 months and I know it can be difficult and heart breaking each month when it doesn't happen, but try to stay positive, keep healthy, and don't get too caught up with depressing stats and percentages.
Sending all of my 35+ girlfriends lots of baby dust and prayers your way!!
xoxo Dianna