Sex question for 2nd time moms

erino&chrish · February 2009

So, keeping up with the sex posts, I was just thinking: I have warned DH we can't have sex for several weeks after the birth. I also said it's probably best because he might not want to see how I look naked until several weeks later. My question....how long until you would want to be seen naked by DH after the birth? Do things go back to normal after 4 weeks, or does it take 8 weeks, etc.....? TIA!

berry25 · February 2009

I had lost most of the weight by 6-8 weeks when the doc gave the ok, and I felt ok about myself. It took another couple months to lose that final 3-4 pounds, but I felt normal and comfortable at 6-8 weeks.

erino&chrish · February 2009

berry25:
I had lost most of the weight by 6-8 weeks when the doc gave the ok, and I felt ok about myself. It took another couple months to lose that final 3-4 pounds, but I felt normal and comfortable at 6-8 weeks.

Oh-that's great! Very encouraging!

ck_wallace · February 2009

It didn't bother me for my DH to see me naked after the first was born. Mainly bc he'd seen me in "all my glory" when i was having DS and i felt like if he saw all that, then he would be just fine with seeing me naked..I remember asking him if it grossed him out ( my post baby belly) and he said no, you just had our baby!! So don't worry about that, it does go away fast, but most likely your husband won't care, he'll be in awe of what you just did!

DaisyAdair · February 2009

We didn't even wait the 6wks either time....I was just ready to go (pelvic rest will do that to you!).

I felt great about myself....probably because I no longer had a constant need to pee, constant pressure on my cervix, and constant nausea and puking.

I was back in the sexy stuff by 4wks because I just felt so FREE of it all! I felt like I got myself back again. Finally. But, I always get very sick while pregnant and just feel like a bucket of crap. Once I deliver, I feel like myself and want to re-claim every part of my "old" life.

Mama Jan · February 2009

It's SO different for everyone. Some bodies pop right back, some take 4-8 weeks, some just don't for a long, long time. As far as being comfortable being seen naked by DH, that just depends on your body image! I really didn't care at any point if he saw me naked because I knew it would change his love or desire for me. Didn't bother me. And I never lost all my baby weight by the time I got pg again.

nogardblue · February 2009

It took a little bit longer for me to feel comfortable naked (about 3 mos) but hubby made me feel so loved and appreciated that it made up for my lack of confidence. Being a new mom really empowered me, I guess. It was really difficult for us to wait the 6 weeks, even though I was still pretty sore for a while (TMI, sorry)

LoveEeyore · February 2009

I lost all the weight in 3 weeks, but it was never back to normal. My hips and thighs are permanently bigger... but I had no problem having him see me. I wasn't crazy about pp sex until about 4 months pp, when I became an addict.

TheBrowns · February 2009

After 4 weeks I looked okay to be seen naked, but we didn't have successful sex for about 4 or 5 months. It hurt really bad.

HotDish! · February 2009

I still don't want DH to see me naked. I lost all of the weight after DD (and then some) but my body has never been the same.

Pesky · February 2009

It took a long time for my figure to get back but I'm older so things aren't quite as elastic as they used to be. DH could see me naked right away if he wanted. At that point, I was really beyond caring.

thatgirlang · February 2009

Oh boy.... I think it was a while. But I was one of those who gained a lot and didn't lose it quickly or easily.

But not wanting to be seen naked didn't keep me from breaking the no sex for 6 weeks rule. Wink

sju · February 2009

Mama Jan:
It's SO different for everyone. Some bodies pop right back, some take 4-8 weeks, some just don't for a long, long time. As far as being comfortable being seen naked by DH, that just depends on your body image! I really didn't care at any point if he saw me naked because I knew it would change his love or desire for me. Didn't bother me. And I never lost all my baby weight by the time I got pg again.

I was like that. DH has always seen me naked and that pp belly was horrendous. I had a c/s and my scar is still red two years later which is not common. He does not care and he always shows that he is attracted to me. My belly never went back to what it used to be since I did not lose all the weight. Oh and I don't remember when we had sex but it was after the 8-week period for sure.

lvisser · February 2009

Oh please. If my DH said "I don't want to look at you naked" after the birth, I would kick him in the nuts.

And i am secure enough that I didn't care. DH saw me pretty close to right away. Neither of us cared.

Oh, and we went back to sex after about 3 weeks... and I was back into PP clothes by around that time.

mrsbhk22 · February 2009

It took me 10 months to lose all of the 21 lbs I gained (and I EBF). I was self conscious until about 1 year PP. I think DH and I had sex for the 1st time 6 or 7 weeks PP. It hurt like hell! Also, the entire time I was BFing, things were "dry" down there so we had to be careful with that.

MrsJoey · February 2009

Mama Jan:
It's SO different for everyone. Some bodies pop right back, some take 4-8 weeks, some just don't for a long, long time. As far as being comfortable being seen naked by DH, that just depends on your body image! I really didn't care at any point if he saw me naked because I knew it would change his love or desire for me. Didn't bother me. And I never lost all my baby weight by the time I got pg again.

ditto, I gained 51 lbs with dd and only lost 20 of it in 7 months (when I got pg again) and I have never worried about dh seeing me naked. If he was the type that would be bothered by the extra weight i gained from carrying his child I so wouldnt be with him.

heather05bride · February 2009

I don't remember the issue of having DH see me naked after the birth, however I do remember not ever wanting to have sex again. I had really bad tears from birth which in turn gave me stiches that hurt like hell to heal. I felt like they were going to rip open if I even attempted sex... And as PP said it did hurt to have sex for a while after.

On another note like a year down the road my husband also said he was a bit grossed out by the whole birth thing. Half way through he was on the opposite side of the room with a nurse asking if he wanted a barf bag! Nice huh!! So this time he is not to peak down there at all! Just look at me!

FlMama13 · February 2009

I remember wanting to wait for the full 6 weeks until the first dr.'s appt since I had to have a c-section (last minute). That just made everything freak me out a little more but as for my husband seeing me naked. . . don't think it can get worse than what they see while in labor. It took me several months to go back to "normal". My husband did not seem to care . . . six weeks was enough!!! He was just happy to be intimate again and things just gradually returned to the way they always were.

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