when to tell work

Jennyinheaven · February 2009

I was planning on waiting awhile but I went yesterday to the doctors and when I came in this morning I had an e-mail from my boss asking a lot of questions about why I had been to the doctors so much recently and if soemthing is wrong etc..

Should I just come clean?

Mrs.RMama · February 2009

I'd come clean only because if you lie then there might be some issues later, with mistrust. Couldn't you tell your boss and ask for them to wait to tell co-workers?

Michelle110 · February 2009

Ditto pp. I'd tell the boss and ask for confidentiality for now.

Love Sugar Sweet Minxy · February 2009

I had to tell right away because of the nature of my job...although honestly, it's none of your bosses business why you have so many Dr. Appt.'s. If you feel that you are ready to tell, then go for it. I wouldn't if it is just because you feel pressure from your boss. Or maybe your boss is just genuinely concerned?

Chief_Carters_Lady · February 2009

I had planned on waiting till first tri was over, but I started getting really sick at work. A few of the girls guessed, so I had to go ahead and tell my boss before he heard it through the grapevine. That was about the middle of January, I think.

I think it would depend on what kind of working relationship you have with your boss.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · February 2009

Tell your boss. Hes obviously either suspecting something or concerned. Either way, the best thing to do at this point is to come clean.

EricsWife2005 · February 2009

Michelle110:
Ditto pp. I'd tell the boss and ask for confidentiality for now.

ditto this.

baker_ame · February 2009

I had the same thing happen. I had to go get betas drawn a couple times the week I got my BFP. Then, I went in for an appointment with the nurse the next week. My boss was genuinely worried about me. So, I told her I was just 4 weeks and asked her not to tell anyone. We waited until we got our 1st u/s to tell everyone else at work. (Even though my m/s was starting to give it away to everyone already...)

Good luck!

tanya8 · February 2009

I told my boss right away because I knew that if my m/s got worse I would miss work (and did it ever). It's so much easier to deal with, with them knowing that if I am calling in sick, they already know why and don't hassle me about it at all.

jessicaclare · February 2009

I guess it depends on your boss. If you think that s/he is a reasonable person and can keep a secret, tell and ask for confidentiality. My old boss acted all concerned when I was at the doctors so much and when I finally told her because I was so sick, she basically tried to screw me over.

If you'd really prefer not to tell, I would just say they are routine appointments and are nothing to worry about, which is the truth. I think any boss will understand why you've waited to tell and it won't create any feelings of mistrust.

SkypekWithoutAC · February 2009

I plan on telling after we get our second u/s. We had our first on Tuesday, but I wasn't far enough along to see a heartbeat. Hopefully we should see a heartbeat by our next u/s, and that's what we're waiting for. I probably would have waited longer, but my boss and I are pretty close and she knows about our IF.

hbkises · February 2009

EricsWife2005:
Michelle110:
Ditto pp. I'd tell the boss and ask for confidentiality for now.
ditto this.

I agree with this too.

vml14 · February 2009

Your boss has no right to know anything about your medical status that you don't want him/her to know. And, I think it's actually bordering on unethical to ask you about it. I would send a quick email back that says: "Thanks for asking, everything is fine, I'm just having some routine tests done." I'm sure the email was just sent in a "I care about you and hope everything is ok" way, but you don't need to feel obligated to tell your boss anything.

Jennyinheaven · February 2009

Thanks for all the advice, I actually e-mailed her back and asked if I could see her some time today at her convience.

I am just going to tell her and ask her to keep it to herself, for now. This way i should have less issue gettign off for my next u/s and so forth.

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