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2nd Trimester
Top 10 Controversy Questions To Discuss
kayla_lynn this one is for you...
I have this book 1001 questions to ask before you get married. well the chapter on children is a goodie... here are the top 10 questions they say you should talk with DH about.. or discuss with all of us. your views, your take....
1. How many kids do you want to have?
2. How many years in between?
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl?
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work?
5. What is your parenting ?style?
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent??
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls?
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse?
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children.
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Top 10 Controversy Questions To Discuss
Ooo...its like a survey!
1. How many kids do you want to have? 2 or 3
2. How many years in between? Whatever happens, happens. I would prefer them to be closer in age, no huge gaps.
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl? Until it becomes ridiculous. Sometimes it just isnt meant to be.
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work? Hes the major breadwinner, so I'm stuck with kids. Daycare!
5. What is your parenting ?style? ? Dont know yet
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent?? Combo of both. Strict, but not so overbearing that they feel they cant tell me or talk to me about anything.
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls? Not really.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse? I'm all for a spanking now and then. Sometimes it goes overboard tho.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children. Honesty, integrity, and hard-working.
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc. Depends upon the child and maturity for the age. Everything is negotiable.
1. How many kids do you want to have? One
2. How many years in between? N/A but there will be 18 years between SS and LO and 17 years between SD and LO.
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl? N/A since we only plan on having one. My girl dreams are over.
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work? Haven't decided yet. It depends on our financial situation and what job DH finds after his layoff.
5. What is your parenting ?style? I'm pretty strict. DH is lax. I already know this will be a sticky point.
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent?? Parent!! I hate parents who just want to be friends. As a teacher, I can tell you that is a terrible choice and the kids (as well as their classmates and teachers) always suffer.
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls? Hells no. My son is going to have a play kitchen and dolls. DH and I don't believe in assigned gender rolls.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse? I could see a smack on the butt but as a abuse surviver, most all can be easily abusive.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children. Global citizenship, equality, service to others, activism, love of the arts.
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc. These will be set when they are at the appropriate developmental stage.
1. How many kids do you want to have? 3
2. How many years in between? 2-3
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl? I got my way, after this it's whatever comes! Only 2 more tries tho!
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work?
I am unemployed and DH will probably only be able to take a week off.
5. What is your parenting ?style? Firm but understanding (I hope)
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent?? Parent first, friend so that they aren't scared to talk to me.
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls? Not necessarily, but I think they should be taught to respect women/girls.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse? When it is out of control and you cannot stop.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children.
Honesty, Kindness, Responsibility
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc.
I don't really know, there will be curfews, but it will change based on age, there will be rules, but not extreme.
1. How many kids do you want to have? 2
2. How many years in between? Ideally, we wanted 1 1/2 to 2 years between but it's not happening that way!
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl? We would love to have one of each but will not have another just to have a boy.
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work? I'm a teacher so I will be off work until school starts again. DH will take off about 4 weeks. He would take less but our babies will probably be in the NICU so we both want him at the hospital.
5. What is your parenting ?style? I think this will develop as my babies grow.
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent?? PARENT. Kids have plenty of friends but they will only have one set of parents to get them through life.
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls? All kids need love and rules, no matter what, so no.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse? I think the intent to hurt is abuse. Emotional abuse can be even more damaging.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children. Honesty, faith, and hard work will always see you through. Karma is real!
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc. I will try to be like my mom... rules are important but trust is better. Once they earn my trust, rules will lessen.
1. How many kids do you want to have? 2-3
2. How many years in between? 2-4
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl? If I didn't have a girl next time I wouldn't keep trying. I'll just be happy with what I got.
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work? Dh gets 2 weeks paternity pay; I'm going to be a SAHM until my last child goes to school full time.
5. What is your parenting ?style? No clue yet
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent?? Parent
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls? No, not really.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse? It's abuse when it's 'uncalled' for and leaves marks.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children. Good education, honesty, the importance of family
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc. No clue yet.
1. How many kids do you want to have?
2 or 3
2. How many years in between?
We're going as close together as possible
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl?
If we get to 2 without a girl, then I'd like to talk about adopting a little girl from China
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work?
I'll be SAH. He's in the military, so it just depends on where we're at with his training schedule and what his command allows
5. What is your parenting ?style?
I'm not sure yet. I know we're pretty "strict" with our dog, so probably on the "old-fashioned" side but we're very fun and loving too
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent??
Parent. I don't need any more drinking buddies lol
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls?
Nope, I grew up a tomboy and I hated being treated differently, so I'm going to try to raise our girls and boys as closely as possible
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse?
I'm anti-spanking, so I think it's all counter productive
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children.
Dream big, work hard, don't live in fear and sadness, trust in God but lock your car
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc.
I just want to get them walking and talking first lol
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
i don't think this is true......when i had my son almost nine years ago his father and i talked about almost every aspect that you can think of as a parent. Marriage does not MAKE you a parent nor does it make you a stronger parent! it take two people with combined efforts to raise a healthy and well ajusted child period!
I wanna play!
1. How many kids do you want to have?
-Two or three.
2. How many years in between?
-We will probably start trying for another one when this baby is around 2 years old, since it took us a year to get pregnant with him.
3. If you want a boy/girl and didn?t get your way? how long will you keep trying until you get your boy/girl?
-I got my boy first try, so everything else is gravy. I love baby girls, but I wanted at least one boy.
4. How much time will you & DH spend away from work?
-I will take 12 weeks of maternity leave, and husband has two weeks of paternity leave that he will take when I go back to work. We will then see how easily we can live on his salary alone, and then open up the SAHM discussion when it's time to start thinking about #2.
5. What is your parenting ?style?
-I don't really know. I'd like to think I'd be a pretty laid-back parent.
6. Will you strive to be your child?s ?friend? or ?parent??
-Parent, definitely. My mother didn't become my friend until I got married.
7. Do you believe boys should be raised differently than girls?
-I believe you have to handle them differently. Their brains work in totally different ways, so what works for a girl may not work for a boy. My brother and I are a prime example.
8. Spanking. Pinching. Hair Pulling. When does it become abuse?
-Why in the world would I ever pinch my child or pull his hair? That is not discipline, that is schoolyard bullying. I hope that my children will be responsive to time-outs and toy and play restriction as punishment, but I'm all for a spank here and there when those measures don't work. I would never pop more than twice at a time, though. I think it becomes abuse when it is the answer for everything.
9. What are your top priorities in life you will impress upon your children.
-Be yourself, be kind to animals and people smaller than you, listen to people who have "been there" and learn from their experiences instead of having to make all your own mistakes, say a prayer every day, and listen to your mother.
10. What will the ?rules? be? Curfews, etc.
-It depends on my child's personality. If he is docile and likes to color in the lines, so to speak, the rules will probably be a little lax. If he is defiant or oppositional by nature, I will rule with an iron fist. I was the good kid who didn't have any curfew or rules, and my brother was the hellian who had to be kept in line.