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High maintenance babies in daycare?
Anyone have a high-maintenance baby that they put in daycare? How are they coping/adjusting? What type of provider do you use (in-home, center, etc.) and what has your experience been?
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Re: High maintenance babies in daycare?
I don't really think my DD is high maintenance but she does expect to get her needs met, which was an issue at the first place we took her at 3 months. It was an in-home daycare and seemed really great at first--in a nice area, DCP was very professional and friendly, other kids there were clean and well-behaved--but after the first week, we were told that my child was crying hysterically the entire time (something she had NEVER done) and would not be soothed by the DCP. I did not understand what the problem was at first but then I started to question how attentive the DCP truly was. There were 5 other children in the home--ages 2 to 4--plus the DCP's own 6 yr old twins and teenager and numerous dogs and I don't think she realized how much attention a baby needs. I don't practice every aspect of attachment parenting but I do try to be attuned to my child's needs and I held her a lot and wore her in a baby bjorn and breastfed on demand and really tried to pay attention to her cues. This DCP just wanted to put DD down in a pack n play when it was convenient for her and expected her to fall asleep on her own when I have always rocked her to sleep. I also wonder if the bottles were being prepared as I had suggested, as DD was refusing those from the DCP, and I also wonder if she was just placed on the floor to stare at the ceiling half the time. I think it actually turned into a thing where my child was just so freaked out at being there that she started to have an aversion to the DCP--she'd cry if the woman even looked at her. It was a bit unnerving and lasted all of 5 weeks. (she was only there 3 days a week--if that).
I think this above mentioned in home place would have been great had DD been of toddler age, but the needs of a baby are so different from that of a 3 year old and it just wasn't a good fit. I think because of how attuned DH and I were to our DD, she knew what that felt like to get her needs, both physical and emotional, met and when it didn't happen, she let everyone know (loudly) how irritated she was. Had my DD been a year old, I wouldn't have been so upset at her having to put herself to sleep and whatnot, but at 3 months, infants really need to have their needs met quickly.
My mom watched her after that for 3 months, then we had a college student come to our home a few days a week for a few months and neither ever had any problems with my DD. She really is an easy-going baby as long as you read her cues. She started at a daycare at 11 months and we had no issues with her adjusting. I did make sure though that I found a center that was well-educated on early childhood development and that prided itself on being responsive and attentive and had a mainly child-directed approach.
For what it's worth, I work in the early childhood field and when I'm doing consultation with daycares, I honestly get more worried about the under-reactive, under-responsive children who are perfectly content to sit in a bouncer or swing all day long with little or no stimulation or interaction than I do the high-maintenance babies who know what they want and are more vocal in expressing their discontent. In looking for a daycare provider, I'd focus on finding a place with lower ratios and a good understanding of early childhood development. If you can afford it, you might also look into having someone provide care in your own home, where your child would get more individual attention.
Sorry this is so long! Hopefully it helps a little! Good luck!
I send DS to an in home provider and it's worked out really well for us. He started when he was 10 weeks old and was the only child there 3 days out of the week, the other two days another little girl (around 11 months old at the time) was there.
Now there are 4 kids there everyday including DS. I am glad that he was the only child when he was first starting out b/c he was able to get 1 on 1 attention. Also DS and his provider were able to get to know each other and develop their rhythm together with out many distractions.
I think that being in an environment with low ratios and with providers who feel the same as you do in terms of meeting the child's needs is key. Up front I told the provider how I like things done and what DS was used to. It turned out that the way I did things was the way she parented her children when they were his age so it worked out well.
I forgot to add that DS has adjusted very well and loves it there.
I was apprenhesive too about how he would adjust since I considered him high maintenance.
Throwing leaves
Mine got expelled because damned DCP couldn't cope with the fact I wouldn't do CIO and he didn't take a bottle (though he took solids and could feed from a cup with lots of help). I distinctly suspect she just left kids 6 months and up to feed themselves. She would plop him in the crib and then call me and say he's screaming and won't nap. Duh.
Point is, it wouldbe no problem with a good DCP and doomed with a bad one. I was kind of glad he got expelled, I would have taken him out within the week and being expelled meant I got 4 weeks paid leave.?