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Parenting
Are you less busy if your kids are further apart in age?
I've gotten a bunch of "Oh you're going to be busy!" comments when people find out my kids will be two years apart. No doubt a newborn and a toddler will keep me busy, but it leads me to wonder if parents with kids 3+ years apart are less busy or something? I get that with a bigger spacing the older child is more independant but I think I must be missing something because as I recall my mom was quite busy even though my brothers and I were spaced futher apart.
Nadia Irene 8/13/07
Reid Owen 8/18/09
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Re: Are you less busy if your kids are further apart in age?
Not really. I feel like I'm always busy dragging the youngest along to the older girls' classes, performances, outings, etc.
It is true that when we're having a quiet day at home, the older ones are pretty independent and do help entertain the youngest. But that kind of quiet day is rare!
Who knows...I only have one
but my sil always seems like she has her hands full with two under 3. I would like more spacing so that #1 is more independent...can get himself in and out of things, dress himself, be a good helper rather than do everything for both kids. I don't think one is 'better' than the other. I totally understand getting everything babyish out of the way and done with (diapers, night wakings); but for me I think two little ones would be totally stressful for me.
I totally admire the women who can multi-task with their kids. They seem to just have it work. I am terrible and need to concentrate on one thing at a time and would be much better suited for them spaced further apart, lol. I'm hoping that ds will go to preschool part-time when/if we have another. I guess to each their own.
I'm going to respond but must first give full disclosure. I currently only have 1 child so I don't have first hand experience.
Having said that, I have decided to have my children 4 years apart. The reason for this is because I believe it will make things less hectic. DD will be in preschool and then starting kindergarten during those infant and toddler years for #2. So I will get to have alone time with DC#2 just like I did with DD. That also means that my days with #2 will closely represent the days I spent with DD. It will be just the 2 of us during those hours that DD is in school.
I'm also thinking that DD will be a lot more self-sufficient by the time #2 comes along. She will gain self-sufficiency even more as #2 gets older. Again, it's my belief that having a self-sufficient child along with a fully dependent child will make things less hectic.
For me, I just knew I wouldn't be able to handle the needs of 2 children who are closer in age. So I have made a conscious effort to create a gap. But I also recognize that every family, every child is different and what I believe it will be like versus what it will really be like could be 2 totally different things.
I have 2 girls that are 6 years apart. I think I am just as busy as any other mom but do think that it may actually be easier insome aspects if my girls were only 2 years or so apart at this point. I have a 9 yo and a 3 yo so I am taking 1 to elementary school and 1 to preschool (in opposite directions). We attend functions at 2 different schools and belong to the PTA at the elem sch and the special events comm at the preschool. There are also extracurriculars to mention too, luckily one of their extras (gymnastics) happens to be at the same time on the same day so that is a lucky break for me. My girls will never attend the same school at the same time either, no biggie though since I am already used to that.
Like anything with having kids there are pros and cons to everyones situaltions. I never had to deal with paying for preschool for 2 at once or pay for having 2 kids in diapers, etc. but then my kids don't get to enjoy being interested in as much of the same things because they are so far apart. Being close or far apart has nothing to do though with how close they will be to each other though.