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Cincinnati Babies
BF in Public
My DH just told me that he was at Skyline today for lunch and a lady was BF in public and didn't even have herself covered up. She just popped out a boob and fed her baby in front of everyone. Oh, and she wasn't wearing a nursing bra. And Skyline was packed! DH, needless to say, was shocked. He's totally cool with BF....but not in public like that.
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Re: BF in Public
I agree with PP.... it sounds crazy, until you find yourself doing it yourself....
I have nused in Wendy's, at the table at Cracker Barrel, at the Mall, wherever. I do my best to cover up, but don't make a huge deal about it. I really doubt many people notice.
I was NEVER going to BF in public ... before I had a baby. I was going to bring a bottle of pumped mile and I always going to use my nursing cover if I absolutely had to. Ha! The nursing cover worked until Ellie was about 2 months, refused to nurse covered up and figured out how to pull that off of her head. And she never took a bottle, plus pumping's not that easy. I have now nursed in quite a few public places, including my car, which still isn't all that private when you have a distracted baby. My viewpoint has changed 100% since having her.
You can do what you please, but so can other moms. Moms are always nursing at the storytime I take Ellie to -- I can't imagine anyone batting an eye.
Photo by Melissa Nicole Photography
LOL... I'm a public nurser - and I don't cover up either.... takes too much time when you've got a very hungry little one. It's not like I leave my boob hanging out where everyone can see or anything.... but I've never messed with blankets or anything. I'd imagine it's hard to get a little one to latch on if you can't see them.
And besides... they're boobs... they're for breastfeeding.
I'm sure if it were a sexy woman wearing a super skimpy top the men wouldn't care nearly as much
And to the PP who said she would bf in a bathroom - no flames obviously that's completely your choice - but EW! Where would you sit? On the toilet - Skyline's aren't exactly known for their clean bathrooms with couches? Would you eat your food in a public bathroom? I sure as heck wouldn't... and wouldn't expect my baby to.
Hannah
Not flaming you, but BFing (and pumping) in bathrooms is icky and is a total last resort. I'm a super modest person but once that baby is hungry and screaming sometimes that means my modesty takes a backseat to her need to eat.
THIS is why I never mastered covering up. By the time I felt comfortable enough getting him to latch on he was way to wriggly to stay underneath a blanket or other cover. Even still you really can't see much when he's nursing.
You would be amazed at what you will do after that baby comes. I EP, so I live a completely different life (and not one that I'd recommend as far as getting your baby BM). I pump while I'm driving. If it's night time, I don't always cover up either.
I have a hands free bra and a car adapter. My pump sits on the passenger seat and I hook up before I move. Unhooking can be done while driving when both cup holders are open. It's one of the greatest time savers right now.
I tried to BF in my car a few times, but Ava was born during the hot summer months which quickly turned to cold winter months - and I wasn't going to force my baby to sit in a burning hot car or a freezing cold car (nor was I going to run my car for 45 minutes to keep it cool or warm) or resort to feeding her in a dirty public bathroom, just because some people can't handle the fact that a baby is eating. Also the car or a bathroom is not always easily accessible, and covering yourself with a blanket is only an option for so long - it isn't long before they can rip it off, and if you expect to nurse the entire first year, you'll find that an older baby isn't just going to sit and nurse quietly. Ava was a distracted nurser as early as 3 months old. I have always been as discreet as I could be about it and every other woman I've ever seen BFing in public has been discreet about it as well. I think some people just make entirely too big of a deal out of it.
Honestly, public BFing is supported in every other country (even in countries where women have to cover everything but their eyes in public) - it is a shame that Americans are so uptight about it. It's not like I'm doing a strip tease. I'm feeding my child.
I BF in public, I have with all my boys. I don't think anyone would think twice about giving their baby a bottle in public so why should I when my baby is hungry and wants to nurse? No matter where we are I will feed my baby. I personally cover up but have had the blanket knocked/pulled off on several occasions with each of the boys.
Not flaming back at all, but you'll be surprised by all the things you'll do that you swore you wouldn't. My recent one was standing in line with a cart of stuff at Target while Leah wailed her head off because she couldn't go to sleep. But I had been waiting in line forever and my cart was full, and I wasn't going to start all over later! So I stood there with a wailing baby while everyone gave me dirty looks. Oh, well. I used to be the dirty-look-giver.
The issue with feeding a newborn is that you quickly find that when they need to eat, they need to eat THEN. There is not always time to find a nice place to go, or to get to your car to feed, or even to find a nearby bathroom. I couldn't BF, but I gave her a bottle anywhere, and I would have nursed in all those places...the idea of feeding my baby in a public bathroom is beyond gross to me, and if I wouldn't have done it with a bottle of formula, I wouldn't have done with my boobs!
I often wore a tank top under my shirt so when I had to pull my shirt up I had the tank top I could pull down, if that makes sense.
It's hard enough to BF in public with a squirming, kicking, hungry, often upset baby without having to worry about people being grossed out or offended by it. I would never feed my daughter in a bathroom - if I wouldn't eat there, my daughter certainly won't. I tried to be discreet and find areas of whatever business I was in to feed. I never had any problems with people giving dirty looks (or honestly, I probably didn't care enough to notice).
It amazing that that bothers people and other things that I find totally disgusting are common practice - talking on your cell phone while someone is waiting on you, texting while someone is having a conversation with you at the table, etc. Just my two cents.
I'm very modest so I always use my hooter hider, but Ethan won't really let me use it anymore. I have had lots of ladies come up to me when I've been using it and ask where I got it and that they really need one!! I can't say that I have nursed in public without it, just because I don't feel comfortable with my own body doing so. I really recommend getting one if you haven't already... a blanket just wouldn't cut it for us.
like miranda, i'm a very modest person, but my modesty has had to take a backseat to ava's needs a time or two. like i said before though, discretion is key. even when i couldn't cover up with a blanket b/c ava would rip it off, i was still able to nurse without showing anything. i've also never had anyone give me dirty looks, in fact i've had strangers at restaurants, at the mall, etc. carry on a conversation with me while i was doing it and acting like it was absolutely no big deal. i doubt most people even realize what is happening though. i really never noticed public bfing until i had a baby myself. maybe your dh was just more aware of what was happening b/c he was more aware of the baby, now that he is about to have one.
i will also add that i think many of us probably felt the same way you and your dh do about this before having children of our own, so don't feel bad about it - but like pp's said, your opinion on a lot of these things will probably change once that baby comes along. even if you never nurse in public, you will probably find yourselves more supportive and understanding of mothers who do.
I agree completely! We don't have any kids yet, but I have the exact same opinion. I wouldn't want to eat my breakfast/lunch/dinner in a bathroom so why would I want my child to eat in there? It's gross.
I'm very new at BFing, so I'm not really good at getting things started discreetly. About a million people saw my boobs in the hospital, and I had to NIP for the first time yesterday at the pediatrician's. DH was a little uncomfortable with it, but the baby was crying and I was starting to leak, so it had to be done. We were in an exam room and I covered up with a blanket, but he still stood between me and the door so that no one would see if they walked by. I continued once the pedi came in too. He'll get used to it...
I BFed in front of the pedi when Ellie was tiny just so she could reassure me the baby was getting milk! And there was no being discreet then, I literally had my whole boob out trying to get the baby latched right. By that point, I'd had enough LCs, nurses and other medical professionals grabbing my boob to help me or leaning their head down to listen to see if the baby was swallowing I didn't even think twice about it. It's funny how quickly modesty goes out the window when you have a newborn. :)You're right, your DH will adjust.
I also was terrified of being naked during/after delivery, and didn't want a bunch of people in an out of the room when I was delivering either. Then some things happened and I think at least a dozen nurses and doctors were in and out while I was pushing, and then there was a shift change right after I delivered. I could have cared less. I never would have believed it.
Photo by Melissa Nicole Photography
My first public BFing experience was while I was still in the hospital and some IT guy had to come in my room to look at a monitor (don't ask me why he had to do it right then and there since I had delivered the day prior and wasn't hooked up to it). Well, Ava started crying and it was the first time that she had--prior to that she had been sleepy and uninterested each time we had tried BFing--I didn't want to miss the opportunity to get her to latch so out came the boob. I was still trying really hard to be discreet about it though. Don't ask me why since I had just shown the world everything less than 24 hours before, but I felt weird about it since he wasn't actually part of the medical staff and it was my first time. You do get used to it though.
Yeah, I think half of the hospital staff saw all of my private parts while I was there. Some random doctor came into my room when I had my legs up in the stirrups getting my stitches because he "heard the lullaby." I feel like I was constantly trying to nurse and it seemed like every time I did, someone would come in, either to check our vitals, bring food, etc... No wonder I didn't sleep more than 8 hours total in the 3 nights I was there.