let's share crazy in-law stories — The Bump
3rd Trimester

let's share crazy in-law stories

I'll go first

My MIL named my husband Howdy.  Howdy G.  The poor kid doesn't have a middle name even as an option.  Then she asks me if we would consider a namesake.    After the initial reaction of my pregnancy was "OH."

On my wedding day she corners me and tells me "This is my family and my terriorty and you better just watch your step.  I'm not afraid of anyone."

You girls probably saw my post about the PNP from the '80's. 

My SIL rode from her wedding to her reception in the back of a horse trailer.

My MIL once tried to punch me in the face because I said "Wow, I didn't know the whole famly was coming" when the whole whitetrash bunch showed up after my husband was in the ER because he rolled his vehicle.

Those are the biggies I got right now

Re: let's share crazy in-law stories

  • My MIL took over my reception and didn't invite my family.

    ?

    Every time she visits us she walks around with no pants on. When she bends over she does a kind of squat and I'm pretty sure I can see her birth canal since her undies are floppy.

    ?

    She never misses a chance to talk about her new (5th) husband's magic fingers.

    ?

    She makes inappropriate jokes in public about DH's penis size. The last time she saw it he was a kid. Trust me, it's grown quite a lot.

    ?

    She wrote him a creepy poem a year after we were married and cried about how he loves me more now.

    ?

    Her mom, DH's grandma, is an evil old b!tch. She took a picture DH and I had framed and given to her of us and covered my face with someone else's picture.?

    UseTheTriforce94
  • hmmm my MIL and your MIL should be friends...

    ?

    She hasnt had a job since May, but decided that it would be a good idea to remodel her bedroom...then complained to us that she was broke...um hello.. and when DH said something to her about it she says this:

    "well me remodeling the bedroom is kinda like you ?two having this baby, you cant afford it, but you are having it anyway...."

    yeah psyco, not the same thing, and PS, DH and i both have jobs, so yes we can afford a child...

    ?

    there are many other stories, she's a nutcase?

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  • FIL brought over his gift for the baby - a deer hyde that he had tanned.  And he fully expects me to put that nasty dead thing near my child. Riiiight. 

    When we told the IL's we were having a baby, my MIL almost fainted.  She literally said, "I'm going to pass out" and we had to bring her a chair.  Um, dramatic much?!

     

     

    IMG_0888edit Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    UseTheTriforce94
  • imagemanda_mullins:

    My MIL took over my reception and didn't invite my family.

     

    Every time she visits us she walks around with no pants on. When she bends over she does a kind of squat and I'm pretty sure I can see her birth canal since her undies are floppy.

     

    She never misses a chance to talk about her new (5th) husband's magic fingers.

     

    She makes inappropriate jokes in public about DH's penis size. The last time she saw it he was a kid. Trust me, it's grown quite a lot.

     

    She wrote him a creepy poem a year after we were married and cried about how he loves me more now.

     

    Her mom, DH's grandma, is an evil old b!tch. She took a picture DH and I had framed and given to her of us and covered my face with someone else's picture. 

    WOW - I think you may win here with the no pants and the penis comments.  Ew!!

    IMG_0888edit Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    UseTheTriforce94
  • imagefreeburger16:
    imagemanda_mullins:

    My MIL took over my reception and didn't invite my family.

     

    Every time she visits us she walks around with no pants on. When she bends over she does a kind of squat and I'm pretty sure I can see her birth canal since her undies are floppy.

     

    She never misses a chance to talk about her new (5th) husband's magic fingers.

     

    She makes inappropriate jokes in public about DH's penis size. The last time she saw it he was a kid. Trust me, it's grown quite a lot.

     

    She wrote him a creepy poem a year after we were married and cried about how he loves me more now.

     

    Her mom, DH's grandma, is an evil old b!tch. She took a picture DH and I had framed and given to her of us and covered my face with someone else's picture. 

    WOW - I think you may win here with the no pants and the penis comments.  Ew!!

    ditto.   thats vulgar

    UseTheTriforce94
  • Oh, Manda. As my coworker would say, "Something in the milk ain't clean" there... She AND DH's grandma sound nuts!
    UseTheTriforce94
  • Manda - I literally LOL at your post! Wow and I thought my MIL was a nightmare.

    She told me when I was bleeding in 1st tri that I probably m/c my babies twin. (?!?!)

    Told me in 2nd tri that even though baby's heartbeat was good, it doesn't matter because she "m/c at 20 weeks and baby was strong, but didnt survive the trip through the birth canal." I won't even start with that story, everytime she talks about it its a different story...

    and last but not least...she insisted on being our florist for our wedding. (i would argue she does flowers as a hobby at best, this is not her career). Well even after doing several 'practice-runs' for showers etc, she decided to do pink and red (wilting) roses instead of the orange i had picked to match my bm dresses. huge, wilted, pink and red roses as every centerpiece and my bouquet. (i also had lemons/limes/orange slices in vases as centerpieces...pink didnt exactly match.......)

  • imagemanda_mullins:

    My MIL took over my reception and didn't invite my family.

     

    Every time she visits us she walks around with no pants on. When she bends over she does a kind of squat and I'm pretty sure I can see her birth canal since her undies are floppy.

     

    She never misses a chance to talk about her new (5th) husband's magic fingers.

     

    She makes inappropriate jokes in public about DH's penis size. The last time she saw it he was a kid. Trust me, it's grown quite a lot.

     

    She wrote him a creepy poem a year after we were married and cried about how he loves me more now.

     

    Her mom, DH's grandma, is an evil old b!tch. She took a picture DH and I had framed and given to her of us and covered my face with someone else's picture. 

    You win! I can't top that and I don't think MrsHowdy can either lol. WOW! My first thought was omg! Doesn't it make you wonder how in God's name your husband came from the family he did? I wonder that all the time with mine..

    UseTheTriforce94
  • My hubbs grandmother thinks she runs sh!t, and we are constantly having power struggles. He is her world and everyone knows it, anyhow, nothing I do is ever right but I really could give two shits less. Anyhow, this woman has the WORST taste known to mankind and she tried to get my husband to take her china (disgusting and nonmatching btw) even though we already have 2 full sets that are quite lovely if you ask me. The china hutch, which is a horrid piece of blackish wood (the rest of my furniture is cherry) and then tries to send me home with a box of clothes for my kids that are all disgusting, over worn, and not sanitized. Mind you none of them fit, my son isn't even 2 yet and she tried sending me a coat that was a sz 10..and THEN since we are going to Germany, gets us some winter coats for the kids, (like I haven't already done it) because "I didn't think you would know to get them something warm" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING?! IM FROM ALASKA YOU OLD HAG! Haha, vent over...thanks MrsHowdy for this post lol
  • Mine seems tame in comparison to some of these stories!!

     

    I got married 2 days after finals ended in college (I know, bad planning on my part!) and she called me during my finals and left me at least 6 messages wanting to know about the groomsmen's tuxes. When I called her back, I got yelled at for not picking up my phone. I reminded her I was in finals, she just snapped at me that she'd call DH and hung up. FFS why didn't she do that to begin with??

     She invited her out of town family and friends to the rehearsal dinner, but started a fight when I put my sister on the guest list. My SISTER. Geez. It's not like it was a 4th cousin or something. 

    They invited themselves and their entire out of state family out here for Christmas. For the record, that's at least 10 people. They have no family out here but us, and we have a small 2 bedroom apartment. I'm sure they don't expect to stay here, but to cram everyone in here even just to visit will be tough. Oh, and never asked us. They told us later that they had done this. DH threw down though so hopefully it won't come up again.

     We made plans for her to come out mid-March to meet Jack once he's born last year. When we went to visit them later on, she bursts into tears and begs us to reconsider letting her be out here for the birth. We told her she could come out here, but for the sake of my stress level, she couldn't stay with us, and she would not be allowed in the delivery room. More crying ensues. She decides she won't come out here until mid-March after all. Well, today we get a phone call (2 days before I'm due!) saying that the IL's haven't bought the plane tickets yet, and now would like change the plans.

     

    Not as bad as some of yours, but things I've found annoying. 

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