I have to get my husbands approval for a tubal ligation!!!?!??!?

jkunkel26 · February 2009

I am really hacked off because I am 25 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and at the beginning of our marriage we agreed on NO MORE THAN two kids. When we went for the ultra-sound at 20 weeks we found out we are having a second girl. Now my husband has refused to sign the consent for me to get my tubes tied. Just a little history I have had 2 miscarriages, 2 tubal pregnancies (one involved a uterine rupture, one child who is four and now and getting ready for the second little girl. I believe I should be able to close the baby factory now!!!! I think it is total crap that a Dr will not tie your tubes without the husbands consent. I thank the Lord for my two girls and feel very very blessed. I just want to be done. Is that selfish. My husband is on a quest for a boy, and I think that is just plain selfish.

averyhappygirl · February 2009

I had no idea that you needed your H consent. Seems really odd to me. Is that just your Dr. or your state? Or is that everywhere? hm...

NewLerma · February 2009

Umm yeah that's BS that you have to get his consent...but sorry to say you really should be mad at him not the Dr. You agreed on something and now he doesn't want to hold up his end of the bargain. Tell him he can either sign it, or go get clipped.

MamaMyers22 · February 2009

I am having a tubal ligation performed on tiesday along with my CS. I did not have to have DH sign anything. Maybe it's different in other states.

There's a 3 day waiting period here.

The New Mrs. · February 2009

That's weird. My friend just signed the papers last week and she said only she signed them (at the Dr's office without DH there). Maybe it's a state law or the hospital's own policy. I'd look into it.....

Sequoyah Shoars · February 2009

um, wtf? you should not have to have your dh's consent for that. i would be hella pissed, that is selfish. its your body, not an incubator.

beth thacker · February 2009

It's the same way for them though.. if a guy wants to get a Vasectomy.. which I have never heard of a guy WANTING to get one but the wife has to sign the consent form and if she refuses then it doesn't happen!

It does suck.. I would talk to him and ask him is really worth the chance with all you have been through.

peachypear · February 2009

Whoa - seriously???? That doesn't sound right to me. It's YOUR body; your husband doesn't get rights to is just because of the marriage license. I'd look further and make sure it's not just your doctor.

BTW - it sounds like your husband is the one being selfish, not you.

ChiOmegaGirl · February 2009

No way. Really? Would he need your permission to get a vasectomy? You don't even need your spouse's permission to get an abortion, so why this? I'm kind of pissed about this...

ljlkm · February 2009

I just googled the subject and everything that came back said you don't need your husband's consent.

2BWEDN2007 · February 2009

I can't believe your husband is being that selfish after everything you've been through!

Personally, if my DH didn't want to close the baby factory I would be closing the sex factory and yes....I have the will power to do so.

MamaMyers22 · February 2009

I just looked at my consent form and there's no place for my husbands signature. Just mine and my Drs.

marcandjen · February 2009

That is complete crap.

?

Well, you DON'T need his permission to take the Pill for the rest of your childbearing years. I agree with PP that you should be upset with your husband, not the doctor.

averyhappygirl · February 2009

ljlkm:
I just googled the subject and everything that came back said you don't need your husband's consent.

Ditto. I'm confused now. I'd ask the hospital or ask other Dr's in the area.

marcandjen · February 2009

And wait- in your state, do men have to get their wives' permissions before having vasectomies?

CalinsBride · February 2009

Wow, you have been through hell just to get the two you have! I totally understand why you don't want another, although it would still be your body and your right to do what you want even if you hadn't had complications. I really dont understand this crap. I am just about positive that no one needs spousal consent for an abortion, so this tubes-tying thing just BAFFLES me.

Anyway, infuriating as it is that your H will not sign the forms, I would still be firm on the fact that you will be getting an IUD or taking birth control pills and there is nothing he can do about that. Maybe he just needs time to get used to the idea that he will not be having a son.

beth thacker · February 2009

jkunkel26:
I am really hacked off because I am 25 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and at the beginning of our marriage we agreed on NO MORE THAN two kids. When we went for the ultra-sound at 20 weeks we found out we are having a second girl. Now my husband has refused to sign the consent for me to get my tubes tied. Just a little history I have had 2 miscarriages, 2 tubal pregnancies (one involved a uterine rupture, one child who is four and now and getting ready for the second little girl. I believe I should be able to close the baby factory now!!!! I think it is total crap that a Dr will not tie your tubes without the husbands consent. I thank the Lord for my two girls and feel very very blessed. I just want to be done. Is that selfish. My husband is on a quest for a boy, and I think that is just plain selfish.

This must be a state thing because here in my state it works this way. It's part of the whole "your married and your family size is up to the both of you not just the one" BUT with that said.. your doctor should deem it medically necessary because of what you have went through to have children. My sister was able to get one without her husbands consent because of medically necessary reasons. My mom said that after she had me she wanted a tubal ligation but my controlling father wouldn't let her have one so when they seperated she went and got it done! I wouldn't doubt it if Texas makes you have your spouses agreement.. Texas is what I call "old fashioned" with things.. they do everything just like it was done back in the day!

Maybe talk to your doctor about your past pregnancies and see why it wouldn't be necessary for you to have one.

Califragilistic · February 2009

I think you should be able to do to your body what you would like. I think that just because your husband wants a boy doesnt mean you should have to put your body through something (that is very demanding and difficult-obviously for you especially) just because. If he could carry the child, then by all means, go for the boy otherwise tell him to stop controlling your body and going back on what you had previously agreed to.thats like having to get the babys fathers consent for an abortion..and if you dont know who the father is then you cant get one?! GL

erino&chrish · February 2009

Wow-your husband is being pretty selfish. I can't believe your doctor won't let you get your tubes tied without consent. It's your body, whether your husband likes it or not! We get to carry and birth the babies, we get to decide the other stuff too. Guys can't have their cake and eat it, too.

Let your husband do WAY more of the work with this baby once it's born...wear him out, then see if he'll change his mind on the third baby! GL!

Mama Jan · February 2009

MamaMyers22:

I am having a tubal ligation performed on tiesday along with my CS. I did not have to have DH sign anything. Maybe it's different in other states.

There's a 3 day waiting period here.

3 day wait period for what?

jkunkel26 · February 2009

Myself, my husband and my OB met after the 20 weeks sono and the Dr. asked "Ok, now that we have scheduled your c-section are we going to be doing anything else such as a tubal ligation" I said YES my husband said NO and I asked if I could do it without my husbands approval and he said I am afraid not. I wanted to pop my husband in the eye! I cannot take DEPO BCPS make me have headaches and weight gain with break through bleeding and I am not a candidate from IUD because of tubal pregnancy history. I want to move on to the stage of life where I don't have to worry about birth control. I also do not want to take tha chance that if I get pregnant again I will have to suffer through yet another miscarriage or tubal, it takes a real toll on your emotions and body. I am hoping within this last trimester DH will change his mind. FIngers crossed.

Want a personalized experience?

I have to get my husbands approval for a tubal ligation!!!?!??!?

Re: I have to get my husbands approval for a tubal ligation!!!?!??!?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards