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Adoption
GTKYF - Adoption
Foster, domestic or international adoption and why?
Open or closed and why?
How long do you consider that you have been "waiting" - from the day you start your homestudy, from the day you get on the list for a referral, etc?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: GTKYF - Adoption
Domestic infant adoption. We wanted a newborn and we want our child to know their birth parent.
Open, I have some trepidation about the degree of openness, but I think the important thing is that our child always has the option of establishing a relationship.
We just started the process so our wait is going to be looooong. I think when we start the homestudy that is the day we will consider ourselves officially waiting.
Domestic. We wanted to adopt an infant, and don't have the resources for international. DA just felt right.
Likely open, but I guess it will depend on what happens in the next few months (we have an opportunity to pursue private adoption and it will depend on the BM in that situation).
Haven't chosen an agency yet.
Foster/Adopt because it is the best fit for us. DH is much more comfortable with older children. And I like to be able to give back some of the blessings I have received.
Likely closed since parental rights have been terminated due to abuse/neglect. We are open to keeping ties with extended family and siblings depending on the circumstances.
We haven't finished our home study yet, so I don't consider us waiting yet. I will only think we are waiting once we are fullyl approved.
Foster, domestic or international adoption and why? Domestic, felt right for us. We like knowing our family connections will be in our area.
Open or closed and why? Open, have never considered anything else. The openness will depend on the relationship that will develop as time goes on.
How long do you consider that you have been "waiting" - from the day you start your homestudy, from the day you get on the list for a referral, etc? I consider our wait from time we decided on an agency and asked for the first batch of paperwork to be sent.
Private, but not sure if domestic or international yet.
If domestic then open so that our child can know his or her birth family.
We haven't even started, yet.
Domestic-we wanted a newborn
Semi-Open-didn't want visits or calls, but we do send pics and letters 2 X's a year to the agency who forwards them to the birth parents. Birth parents wanted this contact too.
From our homestudy being completed we were matched within 6 weeks-adoption fell through took 10 months off-updated home study and got the call 2 weeks later. From our homestudy being completed and everything that happened in between the failed adoption and Ben is was 1 year 2 months.
Foster/realative placement
Open - birthmother is my sister
We got news of placement June 08, came home Aug 08, rights terminated Oct 08, will be finalized March 09
We were drawn to international, for many reasons.
1. We have always wanted to adopt, and have not TTC. As such, we wanted to make sure that the child we were adopting wasn?t likely to have other hopeful parents vying to bring them home. This lead us to toddler/?older child? adoption, between the ages of 2-6. (We are open to children with a list of possible disabilities/medical concerns or two relatively healthy siblings.) Still, we had concerns about the US foster care system, and how much trauma a child who was not given up for adoption at birth might have been exposed to prior to being available for adoption. As such, we thought it might be best to look internationally.
2. If we did adopt domestically, it would most likely have been an infant adoption, given our concerns about foster/adopt. To be honest, we feared a failed match.
3. We also had concerns of our child?s family requesting financial assistance long after the adoption is final.
4. We are so excited to be expanding our family?s cultural heritage! We can't wait to become a German-Egyptian-Peruvian-American family!
While my husband and I do harbor some fears of US open adoptions, we would still also prefer as open an adoption as possible. We would like to gather as much information about the family while in country as possible, and would love to meet with them. We are completely open to sharing information with them as our child grows, and we have every intention of repeatedly traveling back to Peru with our child. Our main concern stems from their ability to request continuing support from us, and we felt that physical distance would help prevent such an occurrence.
My ticker is from the day we decided to start the process. Since we have always been set on adoption, the ticker represents the day we decided we were ready to start our family and start really researching adoption with a mind to narrow down our options and find an agency. We applied to our agency just over a month from that day.
Still, I don't really consider us "waiting" yet. Once our paperwork is submitted to Peru, we will wait (about 8 months) to be approved. Then we will begin the WAIT for a referral.
Domestic - Wanted an infant, unable to afford international and don't meet some of the requirements for international.
Open, but whatever the BM is OK with is fine with us. Our friends have an open adoption and its a great experience for them.
We are not at the waiting mode yet - we're still researching.
Domestic because we want an infant.
Open/Semi-open, it will depend on the relationship we have with the birthmom and what she prefers. I want my child to be able to have some type of relationship with his/her birthmom.
We haven't applied yet, any day now though.
1) International, because we wanted to adopt from my DH's country
2) Closed, because that's how they do it there
3) The ticker in my siggy started the day we signed with our agency, and our paperchase, education and HS all started within a week or 2 of that so that's how I count it. Although we're now on the list for a referral so I may start a second ticker, who knows
1) Domestic- we wanted to do IA but we ran into some isues with our age and length of marriage (some countries require you to be 30 or have been married 5 years). We hope to do IA for DC #2
3) Open or semi-open depending on the relationship with the BM. We are probably more comfortable with semi-open as of now.
4) Ticker in siggy started the day we signed up for our first adoption seminar. We have been officially "paper pregnant" since Nov 12 when our homestudy was approved so that is now just over 3 months.
- Domestic infant adoption. As first time parents we really want the "infant experience"
- We want an open adoption, but of course won't know the real extent until we are matched with a birthfamily and can work together to find something that works for everyone. We are open to a couple of visits per year, and feel that this scenario is in the best interest of the child.
- I've thought about this quite a bit. I think for me, I won't feel like I'm "waiting" until our profile is complete and available for review by birthfamilies. Right now I still feel like I'm doing the pre-work, but I'm not ready to be waiting just yet!
Foster, domestic or international adoption and why? We have completed two adoptions of our sons through the foster care system, although we were not foster parents at the time.
Since we have been waiting over 2 years to adopt a little girl, this time we are doing foster to adopt
We prayed about it and God led us to this
We have been matched, but no placement. We have had four failed placements in the past to years. In each case, the foster family chose to adopt at the last minute. We are praying this match is going to go through before the beginning of the summer
Open or closed and why? closed
How long do you consider that you have been "waiting" - from the day you start your homestudy, from the day you get on the list for a referral, etc?
Foster maybe when our bio/adopted kids are all grown, but we'll see about that. Otherwise, we're leaning toward international but would be open to domestic as well if the opportunity arose.
I think open would be best. My sister was adopted and grew up knowing that, and knowing her biological father. She has never been able to track down her biological mother, and I know that she would like to find her. Because of my sister's experience I think an open adoption would be ideal for our family.
We haven't started the process at all yet.
Domestic adoption- We knew of a small adoption agency in our hometown and felt that we would get personalized care there.
I am ok with a semi-open where we send pictures to the agency for the birthparents to see.
We consider our waiting time to have begun when we signed up with the agency.
Foster, domestic or international adoption and why? Domestic, because we want the experience of having a newborn.
Open or closed and why? Open, hopefully.
How long do you consider that you have been "waiting" - from the day you start your homestudy, from the day you get on the list for a referral, etc?
See ticker . . . this is the date we were home study approved. Average wait for DA at our agency is 6-12 months.
IA: just felt right
Closed--that is how they do it
I guess the waiting begins after the paperwork is done? :-)
We plan to adopt internationally. We are hoping to adopt boys (twins or sibling group) from Haiti.
As mentioned above, most international adoptions are closed. We think we prefer this. We know that transracial parenting (and just plain parenting) will be difficult enough without adding in the birthmother relationship. That's not to say that our children won't know about their birthmothers...they just may not ever meet them.
At least with Haiti, as soon as you send in all your documents, you get a referral. The waiting starts after the referral has been accepted. There seems to be a lot of bureaucracy and instability in Haiti, and for this reason, it can take up to two years or more for a child to come home once his/her referral is accepted. We are hoping that by the time we are ready to adopt (in about 5 years), things will be running a little more smoothly.
My Lunch Blog
we are just really starting the process, and so all we know right now is DA. We would like an infant..