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Lady Galadriel
member
DS bringing me to tears NER
Lady Galadriel
member
My ds has been misbehaving like crazy the last few weeks. We homeschool thru an online school and have for over a year now. Up till a couple weeks ago everything was great. He did all his work and was slowly getting to me responsible enough to do a few classes on his own.
Then one day I checked ds work to find out that he had just marked the class as done, without even doing any of the work. Come to find out he did that on more than one class. So we had a long talk about cheating/lying and such and went back to do all the ones he marked as done but hadnt. DS then lost the right to do work by himself and we started doing it together which was going ok. Well ds is now at my parents house while we continue to pack like mad pp and I was there earlier and my mom told me to check his work. Tests had been marked as 100% that were not completed. DS KNOWS that workbook has to be done with those types of lessons. He also only did 1 lesson instead of checking to see if it was a 1 or 2 lesson day to count as a full amount of time for that class. Which put him 5 lessons behind.
I know life has changed a lot with me getting remarried, then us moving twice, and dd being born. Add to that dh losing his job and us moving again. Its hard.. its hard on all of us. But I feel like I have lost my son. Where did my honest little boy go? Where does he think its ok to lie? Even after talking to him about it. I am frustrated to the point of crying.
On top of the school thing he keeps whining about everything from food to getting dressed.
What do I do? How can I get him to start listening to me again and acting like an upstanding citizen?
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Re: DS bringing me to tears NER
I'm sorry you're having a hard time... I just wanted to share something about the lying, I'm not sure if it'll be relevant, but...
I've always had a really hated math. I'm not stupid, and I could do it if I really wanted to, but I always found it really confusing, and a huge pita. Despite this, I was in the 'top' math group in elementary school, and felt like I should know how to do it, even though I was having a hard time. So I skipped a bunch of stuff to catch up to where the others were, and where the teacher thought I should be. Of course, she found out I hadn't actually done it, and when she confronted me, I cried in front of the whole class and was teased for weeks. Anyway, my point is, I knew it was wrong, but it seemed like a good idea for a bunch of reasons. And today, I'm very honest.?
It sounds like you have had a lot of changes recently, and maybe he's feeling a little overwhelmed (as maybe you are too). He may not be lying because he's become dishonest, or a cheater, it might be because if he lies, it's one less thing he has to worry about coping with, at least until you notice. Kids aren't always great forward thinkers ;-)
Obviously, I don't know either of you, and this may not apply at all, but as someone who has lied about completing schoolwork, this was why...
Good luck (sorry for the novel!)?
Oh no! That sounds so hard! HUGS to you!!!
My suggestion..FWIW....It might be his way of trying to get your attention. Focus on all the things he is doing correct and praise the hell out of him for them and see if it helps.
I know this isn't always helpful, but as a teacher I often tell parents that all these stages are appropriate developmental stages. Your DS is learning to push the boundaries so that he knows where the limits are. In life we all know that there are places we can take shortcuts for things and we learn how to do that while still getting everything done that we need to.
This is a very developmentally appropriate stage for a pre-teetn and he is learning a lot by pushing the boundaries. For now you need to be there to push back but eventually he will learn what he does and doesn't have to get done and he will be able to do it on his own. I hope that it's helpful to know that every parent out there goes through this point. It's not just your son becoming a liar and cheater, it's a very normal growth stage!