Am I being unreasonable?

Krisito · February 2009

I know you all will tell me.

DH signed up at a new gym. I didn't b/c we're trying to save money and it's not something I absolutely HAD to have. I called him to see if he would mind starting dinner when he got home tonight b/c I assumed that would be around 7 since he would be getting to the gym around 6. He said he wouldn't be home that early b/c he would be doing the steam room and then taking a shower afterwards so wouldn't be home until after 8.

I asked if he would please skip the steam room and shower this time so that he could start dinner (a frozen meal) since my friend is giving me a ride for the McDonald's thing that I'm doing from 6-7 and I wouldn't be able to pick anything up and I would be starving by the time I got home. He got pissy and said that this was his "concern" about joining the gym

Um, I had no idea going to the gym was going to be a 2+ hour event every time. I don't mind on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays b/c we'd have all day but we go to bed around 9 every weeknight since we both wake up early for work and I would like to see him for more than an hour. I can see his side and usually I wouldn't mind since it's only once a week but I don't think asking him to skip the extras every once in a while is a big deal either. WDYT?

::edited into another paragraph instead of one long lump of words::

LucyAnnie · February 2009

This is new for him, I would let him just do it. He probably thought since you were going to be late that it wouldn't be a big deal if he was late. If it continues to be a problem then I would put my foot down.

Kristinmo · February 2009

My DH spends 2+ hours at the gym everytime too. I think it's ridiculous, but fortunately, he gets off work an hour before me so it usually works out well. I just don't understand what he can spend that much time doing?!?

I vote you just eat McDonalds by the way!

Hyfagal · February 2009

No I can see him being slightly irritated by having to cut his routine short but sh!t happens. We all have to re-work our schedule sometimes.

ETA: And I meant no you're not being unreasonable but I don't think he is either. It sucks for both of you.

Shannon11/3 · February 2009

I totally see your point, and I would be pissed. In fact, I think I would have discouraged DH from even joining if you're trying to save money.

On the other hand, if he just joined he's probably still excited about it (you know, like it's a new toy to play with) and so doesn't really want to cut his time short, especially since he'll be skipping the better stuff. (doesn't make it right, but that's probably what he's thinking)

That being said, if the gym was a 2 hr affair everytime I would definitely have something to say about it.

*BlackSheep* · February 2009

I would just have McDonald's for dinner & let dh get his own food. Oh well. Also I go to a free gym and it doesn't have all that good stuff and I am there for a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours. If dh doesn't want to wait for dinner he reheats something. I don't really see what the big deal is.

StephanieBride1 · February 2009

Yes and no. I would just let it go. If you get to be fry girl at McD's just do a lot of QC.

Krisito · February 2009

Good points. I could have just made dinner and stuck what I didn't eat in the fridge for him to heat up later. I'm just more perturbed that he acted like it was such a huge deal for him to skip the steam room and shower but, like you all said, it's his new "toy" and I should have just let it go. Thanks for making my mountain into more of a molehill.

KK2004 · February 2009

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him to change his schedule every once in a while. IMO a happy marriage is about compromise. If he bends for you this time, it's your turn next time, etc. GL!

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