Do I call and complain...

madison · February 2009

At the grocery store this morning, I had the boys in this car-shapped grocery cart, so they were sitting side by side in the front. A bakery employee leans down to talk to them - at least that's what I thought at first. Then I realized he had just given my 3.5yo a cookie and he was trying to give my 9 month old one! I stopped him and said, "No thanks, he's too little." The cookies had chopped nuts and chocolate chips in them!! I was ticked enough that he just gave one to my toddler, who already was having a crabby day and certainly didn't deserve a treat - not that I would give him a full-sized big old bakery cookie even if he did deserve a treat. But what if he had a nut allergy? Or what if the baby got a bite before I intervened?

I know the guy was just trying to be nice, but the more I think about it, the more I'm debating calling the store to let a manager know - at least so the guy thinks to ask the parents before handing out cookies.

Thoughts?

Amy Schramm · February 2009

I wouldn't. The person had bad judgment but was just trying to be nice. I'd be worried that my complaints would cost someone a job they probably need, esp. in this economy.

mamamoos · February 2009

i'd call. as much as i wouldn't want the guy to get in trouble, if a child has an allergy...well, getting reprimanded by his boss would be the least of his problems.....

polkadot_03 · February 2009

I wouldn't personally call the store manager, but I would of told the guy though that little kids can't have them with nuts, to ask first, and maybe to think twice next time.

GabbysMama · February 2009

I would not call. I would be upset too but like pp i wouldn't want anyone to lose a job over it.

misjenn · February 2009

I would call and complain. As matter of fact I have, but my mom is the PR manager at the grocery store. While I was shopping the lady was going to give my DD a cube of cheese. She was 4 months old and didn't even have teeth! I told her that was a choking hazard for my DD and she shouldn't offer small children food. My mom backed this up stating that they have to ask parents permission before distributing food to children.

vanillacourage · February 2009

I would call a manager and say what happened, but not tell them when I was in the store to avoid them pinning it on one person. Frankly that guy could have killed someone - there are kids that are THAT allergic to nuts. The store needs to have better training or policies on food samples.

mrs_harper · February 2009

polkadot_03:
I wouldn't personally call the store manager, but I would of told the guy though that little kids can't have them with nuts, to ask first, and maybe to think twice next time.

I agree with this. The guy needs to know that it was an allergy risk and it is never good to give a child anything without parental permission, but I wouldn't want to risk him losing his job by calling the manager.

afwells · February 2009

Maybe, if you have the nerve (I don't know if I would, I'm a wimp) you could confront him directly another time when you don't have the boys. And by "confront" I mean, just tell him you really appreciate how he was trying to be nice, but babies under a certain age shouldn't have those foods, there are food allergies to consider, et cetera et cetera. Maybe just tell him kindly that it's best to ask the parent/caregiver before offering any children sweets. That way no one gets in trouble with their manager, but you've educated a probably sweet-intentioned, but misguided man.

madison · February 2009

polkadot_03:
I wouldn't personally call the store manager, but I would of told the guy though that little kids can't have them with nuts, to ask first, and maybe to think twice next time.

Yeah, if I was thinking I would have just said something to him right there, but I was having one of those mornings and wasn't thinking too fast on my feet... which is why I didn't step in sooner to begin with.

mamamoos · February 2009

vanillacourage:
I would call a manager and say what happened, but not tell them when I was in the store. Frankly that guy could have killed someone - there are kids that are THAT allergic to nuts.

yes. be very vague about who it was, but do voice your concern. the manager will probably just have a general notice put out about the fact that employees should not offer kids food without parental consent bc of allergies. no one has to lose their job over it.

southernbelle82 · February 2009

no. The person was just trying to be nice and obviously didn't realize that was a no-no.

Brina Bean · February 2009

vanillacourage:
I would call a manager and say what happened, but not tell them when I was in the store to avoid them pinning it on one person. Frankly that guy could have killed someone - there are kids that are THAT allergic to nuts. The store needs to have better training or policies on food samples.

I agree. You can make the call without giving his name or details. Just explain that it happened and that the entire staff may need a reminder regarding food safety and customers. Simple as that.

katydid2007 · February 2009

southernbelle82:
no. The person was just trying to be nice and obviously didn't realize that was a no-no.

This.

smiling76 · February 2009

Boy--this is a mix here on responses. Knowing people who almost died from nut allergies--yes, I would call. But I would be upfront and say that you are not out for anyone's job--that you are merely doing a public service to let them know.

Honestly--some people, especially those without kids truly don't realize. And if he was "older" perhaps he didn't realize their ages (although there is a rule of common sense). I would be mad, just like you. Absolutely let someone know--even if it's an anonymous letter.

I work in retail and periodically at events we have food--and I always ask the parents (even if trying to give a sucker). It's the right thing to do.

ABMcKinney · February 2009

southernbelle82:
no. The person was just trying to be nice and obviously didn't realize that was a no-no.

It does sound like he was just trying to do a nice thing, and it would suck if he got in trouble for it, but.... what if a week or so from now there is a story in the paper about a child dying from an allergic reaction from something given to him by an employee of that grocery store? Ethically, you need to say something. You can leave out names, and just say "I was recently in your store and an employee tried to give my child something that could have caused an allergic reaction."

MrsGo4Hockeychick · February 2009

I'd call. I'd feel awful if I knew someone was giving away cookies like that and handed one to a kid with a deadly peanut allergy. I'd feel responsible knowing that if I'd have said something, it probably could have been prevented.

Yeah, he meant well, but well wishes won't mean a thing if someone's kid ends up hospitalized because they were given something they can't eat.

eowynmn · February 2009

maybe because he was trying ot be nice and probably didn't know any better, I would talk to him personally next time I saw him at the store and just explain your problems as a mom. he might not even know that it would be a problem for any reason.

...or you can call the manager, but I would say something either way.

carrann82 · February 2009

Yes, the guy was trying to be nice, but grocery store employees under any circumstances should be giving children food without parental permission.

In my local grocery stores, you have to be over 18 or have parents permission to taste any samples. They have signs stating this. I find it hard to believe it is OK for random employees to hand out food to kids.

Call and just let them know what happened, but don't sound too angry over it. The guy shouldn't lose his job over it.

Sherriberry · February 2009

I would definately call and complain. With the number of kids with allergies these days they shouldn't be giving out anything to children! If they want to offer treats it should be up to the parents to ask for it. That's the way it is at my local stores. Years ago when I was a kid we always went to the bakery to get free cookies. Now children have to be with their parents before they give them out.

Summerly2 · February 2009

mamamoos:
i'd call. as much as i wouldn't want the guy to get in trouble, if a child has an allergy...well, getting reprimanded by his boss would be the least of his problems.....

Ditto. Yes, I'd call. My DS's best bud has a very serious nut allergy and they're NOT to be taken lightly. You don't give out food to small children without the parent's permission anyway.

lanie26 · February 2009

In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

IckyThump · February 2009

vanillacourage:
I would call a manager and say what happened, but not tell them when I was in the store to avoid them pinning it on one person. Frankly that guy could have killed someone - there are kids that are THAT allergic to nuts. The store needs to have better training or policies on food samples.

Ditto this. Children with severe nut allergies can have a reaction without even having touched the nuts. The employees need to be educated on this.

kheartsd07 · February 2009

lanie26:
In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

exactly. the guy was just trying to be nice. and guys are clueless. there are far worse things that i would want someone to be in trouble for or lose their job over... being thoughtful and trying to do a nice thing is not one of them.

There are FAR too few of those types of people left in this world. And it's because of situations like this, where people get screwed for trying to be nice.

Just watch your children (this is not directed to the OP.. this is the "universal you") especially if they have some serious allergy.. you obviously need to be wathching them like a hawk until they know better.

oh and edit: I know you didn't think of it on the spot, I hate it when that happens! But ideally, if it had been me, i would have mentioned something right then and there, as nicely as possible, like "some kids have very serious allergies so definietly be sure to ask the parents first, just in case!"

ABMcKinney · February 2009

lanie26:
In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

But what happens if he kills a kid? Is it the parents fault for not having an eagle eye? And like the original poster said, she didn't realize he was giving the kids a cookie- she just thought that he was saying hi. Regardless of what the economy is like, the store manager needs to be notified that he needs to talk to his staff about giving food to minors.

IckyThump · February 2009

kheartsd07:
lanie26:
In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

exactly. the guy was just trying to be nice. and guys are clueless. there are far worse things that i would want someone to be in trouble for or lose their job over... being thoughtful and trying to do a nice thing is not one of them.

There are FAR too few of those types of people left in this world. And it's because of situations like this, where people get screwed for trying to be nice.

Just watch your children (this is not directed to the OP.. this is the "universal you") especially if they have some serious allergy.. you obviously need to be wathching them like a hawk until they know better.

Yes, it is a matter of personal responsibility as the parent, but the store also needs to be responsible and not expose young children to possibly deadly allergens. If she doesn't name the employee, the worst that could happen is that the store has a meeting or puts up a notice making the employees aware that they need to ask the parents/guardians before giving children food. What's wrong with that?

lizzyjames · February 2009

I would not complain. I would call and inform them of the incident but make it known that you are not complaining and withold the guys information. It would be too sad for him to get fired over a cookie.

Nut allergies are serious business but I still would not complain. Just inform.

kheartsd07 · February 2009

IckyThump:
kheartsd07:

lanie26:
In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

exactly. the guy was just trying to be nice. and guys are clueless. there are far worse things that i would want someone to be in trouble for or lose their job over... being thoughtful and trying to do a nice thing is not one of them.

There are FAR too few of those types of people left in this world. And it's because of situations like this, where people get screwed for trying to be nice.

Just watch your children (this is not directed to the OP.. this is the "universal you") especially if they have some serious allergy.. you obviously need to be wathching them like a hawk until they know better.

Yes, it is a matter of personal responsibility as the parent, but the store also needs to be responsible and not expose young children to possibly deadly allergens. If she doesn't name the employee, the worst that could happen is that the store has a meeting or puts up a notice making the employees aware that they need to ask the parents/guardians before giving children food. What's wrong with that?

I think that would be fine. If she calls and is nice (so the manager doesnt think he's dealing with a serious situation/disgruntled customer) and just reminds him that, while it wasn't a big deal in her situation, some kids do have serious allergies, so he should pass the reminder onto the store associates to check with parents first before giving out samples... yadda yadda. Like the PP just said.. just to inform him, but not complain or name names...

2007MarchBride · February 2009

I would call say you were recently in the store and that an employee handed your infant and your child a cookie without asking permission. Tell them you are calling as courtesy and explain the allergy/dietary concerns to this along with the choking hazard this can present.

The employees need to be educated to ask parents first. There are so many what ifs to this situation that it is something that needs to be addressed. From the side of working in retail for many years if you are not aware of certain situations how can you educate your employees on best practices?

lanie26 · February 2009

I just don't understand why something wasn't just said to HIM. Why his manager? Why not say "oh my goodness, thanks for your kindness, but he has allergies and nuts aren't a great idea if your handing out cookies to kids. I know he may love one of those "shortbreads" for example?

I don't get always going over people's heads. Good god what a bunch of drama llamas.

madison · February 2009

lanie26:

I just don't understand why something wasn't just said to HIM. Why his manager? Why not say "oh my goodness, thanks for your kindness, but he has allergies and nuts aren't a great idea if your handing out cookies to kids. I know he may love one of those "shortbreads" for example?

I don't get always going over people's heads. Good god what a bunch of drama llamas.

Yes, ideally I would have said something to him right away, but I just wasn't on my A-game this morning, obviously. Rough night, followed by a rough morning.

I went over his head, not to be a jerk but 1. because if they're not telling employees to check with parents before giving food to kids, then they should be - it's something all employees should be told or reminded of and 2. because it's a huge liablity for the store, so i think the manager has a right to know - i'm an insurance professional, so i can't help but think in terms of liablity and exposures. (so maybe that does make me a jerk?)

But I was very careful not to give away any details about the employee, because I certainly don't want him to get fired. and I didn't approach it as complaining or tattling, just sharing my experience.

Punk*Mommy · February 2009

lanie26:
In this economy I would not put someone's job in jeopardy over a cookie. Instead, I'd keep a closer eye on my kid.

Ditto this.

I don't understand how you wouldn't notice someone was trying to give your kid a cookie anyway?

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