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3rd Trimester
IL's coming from out of town..WWYD?
so DH's brother & his wife are driving up from Atlanta to see the baby...but they're coming like 5 days after my due date. so we'll have a brand spankin new baby at our house.
i should start out by saying i'm super anti-social in my home. i'm super social outside of the house, but when i'm home, i don't like people staying with us...it's kind of like my anti-social sanctuary.
so BIL & SIL are driving up and are saying they'll be at our house at 2AM and will be staying 2DAYS! i don't want people staying at my house when my baby is gonna be so new, plus i'm gonna be uncomfortable from having a sore crotch and huge swollen BF'ing boobs.
it's DH's brother and we haven't seen them in like 7 months, so i can't say no..WWYD?
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Re: IL's coming from out of town..WWYD?
Photo/Family Blog
My FIL is coming up as well from out of town. I simply told DH that I wanted our home time to be OUR time. I don't want to be entertaining anyone, or hanging out with anyone when we're trying to get used to having a new baby. DH was actually really understanding, once we talked about it, he told his dad that he'd have to stay at my SIL's house whiich is about 40 min away.
I'd talk to your DH and make sure he realizes you'll b walkin around trying to BF(not comfortable to do when people are hangin around) also you'll be having these huge pads/ice packs you'll be wearing. You don't need to be keeping people company. Maybe a hotel could be a possibility?
I would ask them if they can delay their trip for a few weeks. Tell them that if you go on your EDD you will only have been home for 2 or 3 days (if you deliver vaginally, if c-section, you may just get getting home) and you would like time to bond with the baby first. And that's all IF you go on your EDD, a lot of first-time moms go late.
If they're driving, it's not like they need to book airfare. So maybe ask if you can play it by ear, depending on when you deliver so they come up 2-3 weeks after that.
3 options that I see:
1. Tell them to get a hotel during that time, that you will still be healing from your birth and dealing and adjusting to a newborn and having to worry about houseguests, even family, will be a bit much so early.
2. Ask them to postpone the trip until DC is a bit older and you can tolerate the thought of them staying with you for 2 days.
3. Just lump it and warn DH that HE will have to do everything for them plus help you, that you are going to be bit busy and in no mood for guests.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Not really too much advice here. Unfortunately we will be dealing with very similar things. My mother is coming into town for 2 weeks and staying with us. Then my SIL for 3 days (she is a college student) then my IL for a week. So we will have next to constant visitors for 3 weeks.Unfortunately we live far away from family and in a rural area so we cant exactly ask them to stay in a hotel. I also hate sharing my home and dread having to entertain the inlaws (my mother will be fine).
I talked to DH and we decided that we will quarantine off part of the house. The entire upstairs is our bedroom bathroom and the nursery. We are going to ask visitors not to go up there at all. That way I can retreat when I need to still be able to function. It isnt ideal but I also couldnt ask family to not see the baby.
Good luck
We just flat out told people that if the whole family is coming, they can't stay here. ?First and?foremost, we just don't have to the room. ?And second, I`m going to be stressed enough with a newborn, I don't need to worry if my MIL is judging me for not cleaning properly as well...
I don't care if ONE person wants to stay, but more than that is a big no-no. ?For us honest worked... If you want to come visit and see the baby, then book a hotel.?
I would try to get them to come later or try not to worry about it. My mom is coming after baby comes (for a week, followed by ILs and other family) but now one is selecting dates now. Since babies come when they want to, I wouldn't want family sitting there staring at me if I'm still pregnant and huge.
Assuming you do have a baby by the time they come, hole yourself up in your room, let DH do all the guest work, and don't worry about it. They should understand that you need some space to yourself.
Natalie Kate - October 4, 2011
Blighted ovum, d&c at 9w, July 2012
Blighted ovum, d&c at 10w, September 2013
BFP May 28, EDD February 4, 2015