To circumcise, or not to circumcise?

ValerianOddity · February 2009

Once we found out for sure we were having a boy, I asked my s/o how he felt about having the baby circumcised. I had to laugh at the look of horror on his face, and the reflexive crotch-grab I'm pretty sure he didn't even know he'd done. His reply? "Uhhh....." (I should point out that he's circumcised, himself.)

My older son is circumcised. When he was born, I was a single mama, and all I could think was it would be easier for me to teach him cleanliness. Plus, when he was born (13 years ago), there were still a lot of "experts" stating that it was better for health reasons to have your baby boy circumcised. I don't have any strong feelings either way, for, or against, although the practice seems to be less common than it was when my first boy was born. I told my s/o that this decision should be his, since he's the one with a penis. He told me he can't even think about it.

So! Out of curiosity, those of you having boys (or who have already HAD boys)---will you, or won't you? What are your reasons for your decision? How much a part of the decision was your significant other?

Lucky428 · February 2009

If we have a son, we will circumcise. We both want our son to match his dad (Dh is circumcised).

It's a hard decision to make because it is elective. Both my sister and my SIL circumcised their sons (one almost didn't) and they both are glad they did.

GL! It is a really tough choice.

KelliO924 · February 2009

We are. DH and I both agreed that we wanted him to have it done. It's fine to clean us to clean for him when he's little bitty, but I don't really trust a teenage boy to be diligent about cleaning it. I would rather him have it done when he can't remember it, versus running into problems and having to do it later. Just my two cents.

ArcticFox · February 2009

I don't know if I'm having a boy, but I think I probably would... just so it's done and it's not an issue later. As in, we wouldn't have to think about it later, our son wouldn't have to go through surgery much later in life and have to deal with it then (both the decision and the surgery).

texas_girl · February 2009

Absolutely not.....lots of reasons, but the biggest is it's an elective surgery that is not medically necessary....

kimmie321 · February 2009

If we have a boy we will.

Daisy22 · February 2009

Bailey will be circumcised even through dh isn't. Dh is very adament about circumcising Bailey. Plus after hearing stories of the infections that uncirc men get esp when they are older from a good friend who is an ICU nurse, it made me want him to be circ too.

Bleeding_Heart · February 2009

If we have a boy we will. ?

ngunn04 · February 2009

We are going to circumcise, I really never even thought about it. DH is and to be honest I have never seen one not done,

so I just thought that we would get it done.

JessMike07 · February 2009

DH is positive that we will be having our son circumcised. And like you, I didn't really have an opinion. My Dh's biggest reason: He remembers kids (in gym class or sports) being made fun of. "That won't be my kid," he says.

Jill+Dave · February 2009

DH & I have discussed it & will have any of our boys circumcised. It's just easier to keep clean & does help prevent them from getting STDs. My stepbro & SIL chose not to circumcise their son. He's in 1st grade. While I haven't heard of him having any problems & my SIL did teach him how to clean it, my mom & I can't help but wonder how much he does actually clean it now that he's bathing himself....

I helped raise my youngest brother. It's hard enough to get little boys to wash their hands after going to the bathroom (& if they do, they rarely use soap) so I can't imagine anything else.

BetchySprout · February 2009

My son is not circumcised. We saw no reason to do a cosmetic procedure on an infant. However, if he wants it done as a teenager, we will pay for it. I just want him to have the choice, just like I want any daughter of mine to have the choice on ear piercing or not. In our region, it is 50/50 and more and more insurance companies do not cover it because there is no medical reason to do it.

P.S. I really don't see how the "we want him to look like daddy" argument can even come close to holding water. DH didn't know his dad wasn't circ'd until his mom told us (last year), and my uncles didn't know their dad wasn't until they were in their 40's. I just don't understand that one at all.

mrsladd · February 2009

NOT! Actually, I had no strong feeling either way (and had she been a boy, I don't know what I would have done for dd). However, my dh (who is circumcised, and has no problems with that) felt VERY strongly that it was an arbitrary and needless thing to do, and he was against it. I went with his feeling because A) I was neutral and he felt strongly and being a man, I just feel his opinion meant more in this case.

Now that my ds is two, I have found myself thinking several times how glad I am that we left him just as he was, as he just seems so perfect that way, and I can't imagine changing him. It's easy to care for, and we will most certainly be leaving this new son intact as well.

I do love the way dh looks, but I'm sure that someday ds's wife will find him to be perfect for exactly what he is, too. And I really think that it's becoming much more common, and our sons will not be the only ones.

Rachel&Joe · February 2009

We definitely will since DH is. I don't think my DH would know what to do with the extra skin! My nephew is not circumcised (his father is European), & whenever I change his diaper, I am so confused by what I see, lol.

sharon2004 · February 2009

we're having Aidan circumcised. All of the men in both of our families are, so it makes sense to us, plus it will be easier to keep clean and baby will "match" daddy.

julia&jared · February 2009

DH says yeah to getting it done if we have a boy but I couldn't care. We will probably return to that conversation till we know for sure if baby is a boy or girl.

AnimalHouse · February 2009

Well, we're Jewish so if we have a boy we will for religious reasons. Even if that weren't a factor I think we would. My SIL's boys are not and one has had multiple infections and they are looking at having to do it now that he is 10 and it is a much more involved procedure at this time.

katherineelise · February 2009

My son is circumcised and if we have another boy we will circumcise him as well. As with the previous poster, there is alot less risk for diseases and its a very safe procedure.

blueantz · February 2009

Not doing it. Just not medically necessary.

FutureGosnell · February 2009

We are not doing it. We did the research together and felt there was no medical reason to do so.

CaseBride · February 2009

NO WAY - we did not with DS and if we have another boy we would not do it to him either. All of the studies have shown there is no medical reason to do it at all (that is the official position of the American Academy of Pediatrics, by the way). We do not have any religious reasons to do it either.

As for the "looking like dad" argument - I'm curious for those having girls, will you get her an elective cosmetic breast augmentation or reduction so she can look like mom?

As for the "made fun of in the locker room" argument - it's actually more like 50-50 nowadays, and in some states (like mine) it's 60-40 in favor ot NOT doing it.

As for the "more infections/icky/not clean" argument - most of the infections are actually CAUSED by parents/caregivers who do not know how to care for uncirc'ed penises properly and they forcibly retract the foreskin (which should NOT be done) which forces bacteria into it and causes infections. And little kids in general are not clean (have you looked behind their ears?) but it is our duty as parents to teach them how to clean themselves and to show them what happens if they don't. Just a part of life...

As for the "less STD's" argument - this was only one study on HIV, which was done in sub-Saharan Africa with flawed methodology, so you really can't trust it. And personally I would rather teach my DS to practice safe sex than get him a surgery!

As for the "do it now to save the hassle later" - this goes against my personal beliefs of body autonomy. What if your DS grows up and doesn't want to be circ'ed? It can always be done later, but it cannot be undone.

Unless there is a medical reason for it, I feel like it is an unncecessary surgery with huge risks (including hemmorhage, infection, penile disability/deformity, and yes, even death in rare cases) that I am not willing to expose my DS to. End of story.

*stepping off my soapbox*

CurlyM-C · February 2009

We're having a girl, but DH & I discussed this when we didn't know and he didn't hesitate for a second to say "absolutely, we should circumcise." He thinks is simply a hygiene issue.

yellowcar · February 2009

I couldn't make the decision, so I left it up to DH, who opted to have it done when DS was born. I said exactly the same thing as you: "you're the one with the weiner, you decide." I think the idea of son looking like Daddy weighed in on his decision.

We're in the NE and I think it is pretty rare for people to NOT circ. here.

whirli · February 2009

We don't know if we're having a boy or girl yet but I asked DH this question the other day. He had no preference so we did some research together and decided there is no reason to have it done. Reading about the procedure and the pain made me cringe. When I asked DH if he'd be upset that they didn't "match" he just kind of laughed, like there's no guarantee they'll even have the same hair color, let alone body makeup.

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