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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Anyone thinking of adopting next time?
DH and I have always considered adoption as an option at some point in our lives. We have decided to only have 2 children, so we are seriously considering going this route next time around. Anyone else?
I just feel like there are so many children out there in need of good homes and would love to give a baby/child a chance at a life they may have never gotten otherwise.
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Re: Anyone thinking of adopting next time?
It's a very nice sentiment, but I'm sure you're aware that adopting a child is extremely difficult and can take years. It's not like there are tons and tons of newborns available at the baby store to adopt at a moment's notice -- and adopting an older child comes with its own challenges.
But, as long as you know this (and I'm sure you do, right?) I think it's a great thing to do. However, I think you will be receiving just as much benefit as your adopted child.
I was actually going to page you and ask about this when I saw your post in the "what will you do differently" thread.
We would really like to adopt a second and I feel the same as you do about babies/kids who need homes. The more serious we are about it, though, I have started to consider all the potential issues. Especially how adoption would affect our son, and how to foster a sibling bond between the two, how to avoid favoring or overcompensating, etc. I would like to wait til our son is old enough that we have an idea of his personality and how he would adjust to his brother or sister (probably brother) being adopted. I imagine we will probably get some counseling, the two of us as parents as well as as a family, before we initiate the process.
So yes, we want to do this. I am curious to read others' thoughts on this!
With my background (miscarriage and high risk), I often feel like I can't take the anxiety of pregnancy again. I have always considered adoption from Russia-- I might even have a "leg up" because I have dual Russian citizenship.
BUT now that it's impossible to take out home equity loans, I don't know how we could finance it. And FAS is a big problem with Russian infants as well.
I suspect we will be TTC this summer.
Same here. DH would very much like to adopt, but I think that is a long way off for us due to financial constraints.
(But having another biological child would be a long way off as well).
I would like to be a foster parent. My parents did this when I was growing up, and although it is challenging I think it is very important and potentially rewarding. But that will have to wait, too. For now, DD is all we can handle!
Yes, I am completely aware of all of these things. My SIL worked for an adoption agency so we know very well that it's not all puppies and rainbows. BUT, my feeling is that most things in life worth doing are not easy, so I'm not going to let those types of obstacles get in my way of helping out a child in need.
I also agree with your last statement, it's certainly a two way street.
I think adoption will be further down the road for us as well than if we planned another pregnancy due to financial constraints and wanting Arlo to be old enough to understand (at LEAST 3 years old) It's certainly a difficult decision to make, I don't want Arlo to "suffer" in any way should we adopt a child and have to deal with issues that may not be issues had we had a biological child. I agree with counseling, it can only help, right? So, we'll see, time will tell...
My first is biological, 2nd was adopted, 3rd is biological.
And I am far luckier to have her than she is to have me. My daughter is a joy in everyone's life she touches.
Yes, recently (due to Quinn's entrance) she has been feeling a little funny about being the only one that didn't come from my belly. But she's known about her adoption since day one, and we talk about it often. I tell her it makes her special in a different way, because I went almost all the way around the world to get her.
Sandra, I'm curious how if at all it affected your first born? How long was it just the two of them? Did you find it all came pretty easy to your family or did you have to be proactive about fending off any issues? Was your daughter an infant or older?
Sorry for the interrogation.
Hm, last I knew, China had shut down in'tl adoptions because they didn't want attention being drawn to how all those baby girls are available for adoption, as they were the Olympic hosts, PR and all that.
Asia has a lot of very strict adoption laws-- weight laws, no history of mental illness in the family, no history of anti-depressants, etc.
Awww, thank you!! We love those big ole cheeks as well!
No worries. Ask away
My son was 9 when Mia came home with us. I was a single parent with him and adopted Mia as a single, as well. I wanted another child, and I knew somewhere there was a baby who wanted a mother.
I included my son in the discussions and decision making process about the adoption, from the beginning. I also brought him with me to Russia so he could see her orphanage, her heritage, and be more of a part of everything. I didn't want to just come home with a baby and thrust her on him, if that makes any sense. I wanted us to bond with each other, together.
She was exactly one year and one week old at her adoption hearing. They fight like any other siblings - I haven't noticed any defensiveness on either of their parts. It was the two of them for 6 years. I got married last fall, and found out I was pregnant just a few weeks later.
That's so wonderful. You sound like an amazing mommy.
Exacly, one step at at time. BTW, your daughter is so cute! I love all her hair, she looks like a two year old!
In that case, please don't. Honestly, I had an ex boyfriend who had that problem. He told me in confidence that he loved his bio son (who was, btw, an awful, spoiled child) much more than his step-son, whom he had known since babyhood. He said it made him cringe when the older boy touched him, as opposed to the way he felt about his biological son. Oddly, my ex had been adopted as an infant. I thought that was very strange. I always felt really bad for Shane.
Sandra - what an amazing story.
For us we would want to adopt an older child and/or a sibling group. We would also be open to having a child of a different ethnicity.
But like I said...these are dreams and big ifs. I would need to be financially sound before I could ever consider it.