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Vent: grandparents- long.

KristenBtobeKristenBtobe member
in Cincinnati Babies

Ugh. Sometimes family frustrates me. Let me preface this vent by saying Maggie is my parents only grandchild and my in-law's third. When we need someone to watch her on the weekends, we pretty much always ask my folks.

Some of our friends decided to come into town last minute this weekend, so they invited us to go to dinner tonight.  Mike's sister said she'd bring her kids over and watch Maggie, but our niece is allergic to the dogs and has been wheezing today so we decided it was best to not have them come here.  Mike's parents live out in Taylor Mill, it's a good 35 minute drive and we kind of wanted Maggie to be able to go to bed at her regular time etc. so my mom volunteered to come down from Dayton to watch her if we wanted. Apparently she didn't tell my dad this so when I called to say we needed them, he was a little disappointed as they were going to the UD basketball game tonight (they have my season tickets). He was kind of joking, but I know my dad and he was looking forward to this game. Of course, my mom wants to watch the baby, she doesn't get as much time with her as my dad and Mike's folks do since they both watch her one day a week...

So I told them no sweat, don't worry about it, we'd drive her to the in-laws, it's no problem.  So my dad gets all upset, says he was just kidding. I told him it hurt my feelings and it's hard enough for me to ask for someone to watch Maggie so we can go out, we've only gone out a handful of times since she was born and I feel guilty enough, I don't want to ruin anyone else's plans. So now he thinks I'm punishing him by not having them watch Maggie, my mom's upset that she doesn't get to see her, and I'm upset that everyone's upset.  I thought my mom was going to cry when I told her we didn't want them to change their plans.  I just feel horrible. We were just trying to see some friends and have dinner, for pete's sake.

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Re: Vent: grandparents- long.

  • cops_wifecops_wife member
    My parents have season tickets to the Xavier games. We asked them to watch Ellie this past Wednesday so we could celebrate my b-day. Then my uncle called to offer them tickets to the game at UD. Same thing: My mom really wanted to watch Ellie, my dad wanted to go to the game. So my dad took my brother to the game and my mom watched Ellie. Maybe you could find a similar solution? It sounds like this has been made into a bigger deal all around than it needed to be.
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  • KristenBtobeKristenBtobe member
    My dad and I are just too much alike, we get hot about stuff and then it's over.Stick out tongue But I also am a pleaser, and I want everyone to be happy. Not always possible.  I know they'd drop anything for Maggie and I appreciate that, but I don't want to ask them to do that too often, you know? I think they're going to come for a visit tomorrow. Hopefully that will smooth everything over.
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  • teacherjessteacherjess member
    What a mess! I hope you guys are able to get out regardless of who is watching her. I hate the whole grandparents-jealousy issue. We have it, too, with both sets of parents wanting to come all the time because they are both afraid Leah will start to prefer one set over the other. Ugh.
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  • lisamm1lisamm1
    My mom and stepdad usually watch Macy if we go out (mainly because they love to and because I feel most comfortable with them watching her).  However, I know my ILs get jealous and it makes me feel guilty.  Who would have ever thought we'd have TOO many babysitters wanting to watch her.  I hope you end up having a great night out and I'm sure it will all be boiled over by tomorrow :)
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  • adamsbabbleadamsbabble member
    I know this kind of thing sucks!  Ava sees my mom & step-dad way more than she ever sees my dad, and frankly, even if she did see him often I think she would still prefer my step-dad.  My dad is really loud and gets too in her face and socially he's just... I don't even know what the word for it is, but even babies pick up on it, lol.  Anyway, she pretty much avoids him when he is around her and honestly she's not like that around anyone.  I felt terrible when my dad heard her call my step-dad "papaw."  Talk about grandparent drama!
    Ava Caroline 8.27.07 I Charlotte Grace 5.18.09 I Lila Katherine 1.20.11

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  • mrsgillianmrsgillian

    I would just explain to them that you just didn't want them to change their plans. I know both our parents and in laws love watching DD but I don't think they think it is an honor to do so, especially if they already had plans, so you were being nice by offering to have DH's parents watch her, no reason for anyone's feelings to be hurt. I'm sure once everyone talks it out it will be smoothed over.

    I feel lucky to have both sets of grandparents in town, so that we normally can find a sitter if we need one, but we certainly have been turned down before because they had something else going on. I don't take offense, though. I know next time I ask they will probably be free.

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