Anyone else find it hard to maintain friendships?

AngelEyes06 · February 2009

Every since we had DS (well actually since I got pg) it seems like we have nothing in common with our friends. Most of our friends are not married and the ones who are do not have any plans for children. I find that our friends get irritated when we can't go out with them when they call us at the last minute. None of them ever really want to just go out to dinner with us and DS. They always want to go to a bar where we can not take DS. Lately I feel like I don't even have any real friends anymore and it sucks!

MegGary · February 2009

We've been lucky. All our friends have had or are having their babies now.

Your friends need to realize that you can't just do things last minute with a child. Sorry they are being like that.

moosemax · February 2009

YES! Most of my friends aren't even dating someone so they don't understand that I need to spend some time with my family. Don't get me started on the ones that don't have jobs!

I have one friend that has a baby that is 6 weeks older than my DS. So that helps. If I didn't have her, i would feel like I didn't have any friends either!

Brookie-Cookie · February 2009

yes! I have one "good" friend who completely cut me out when I got PG and another who still tries to get together but makes rediculous suggestions. She thinks of babies like cats I think.

Stacyc625 · February 2009

yes and no. my problem is that my friends take absolutely NO INTIATIVE to plan things like get togethers and such. I am always the one coordinating and planning and such. And quite honestly i am done with being the planner for them.

mrs_harper · February 2009

It is definitely challenging. I do have one or two understanding friends who will still hang out with me in an environment that is fine for DD to be in and on our schedule, but then I also have friends who just don't get it.

On the flip side, my mom started visiting me once a week since DD was born, prior to which I saw her once every few months or so. It's also hard being around people when you know they are only there to see your child.

Carmell226 · February 2009

Yes, and the crappy part is I really try but two of my "good friends" (both who stood up in my wedding) never come around or call anymore....one of them never even met Rylee, which really hurt me. I have decided to quit trying and move on. As of right now I really only have one good friend and she is PG so that is helping alot! I plan to start a few play groups in the spring and meet some new friends that have kids!

May524 · February 2009

Stacyc625:
yes and no. my problem is that my friends take absolutely NO INTIATIVE to plan things like get togethers and such. I am always the one coordinating and planning and such. And quite honestly i am done with being the planner for them.

Same here!!!

LiamShannonsMommy · February 2009

Yes, it's sad. The only ones that talk to me are the couple who have a baby. My "best friend" hasn't even been over to SEE Liam or called me in probably 8 or 9 months. Just because I am married with a child and don't want to go to night clubs every night, doesn't mean we can't have a nice lunch or dinner sometimes?

LiamShannonsMommy · February 2009

P.S. This is why I spend a lot of free time on the bump, to actually talk with adults again!

ougrad1 · February 2009

That's just how it is as you get older and have your family....it takes work to maintain your friendships and, unfortunately, that's kind of a last priority for most of us at the moment!

MrsP825 · February 2009

AngelEyes06:
Every since we had DS (well actually since I got pg) it seems like we have nothing in common with our friends. Most of our friends are not married and the ones who are do not have any plans for children. I find that our friends get irritated when we can't go out with them when they call us at the last minute. None of them ever really want to just go out to dinner with us and DS. They always want to go to a bar where we can not take DS. Lately I feel like I don't even have any real friends anymore and it sucks!

I could have wrote this myself.. Indifferent

mum2finn · February 2009

Sorry to hear that your friends haven't been that supportive! On the up side tho, at least they are still inviting you out places which is good...Unfortunately I hate to admit it but you just end up hanging out with 'easier' friends - ones who don't want to have big nights out and are happy to come o your place rather than you to theirs. The best things we did was start to have more people at our place for dinners - th baby is already asleep, I've had time to make a meal and it is way more fun than a restaurant anyway - plus we can drink and not have to get a taxi home

Brina Bean · February 2009

It's weird because all of our single or unmarried couple friends just come to our house now. They really love DS and spending time hanging out with us at home...which really surprised DH and I. Like you though, we don't have any close friends with kids(locally), so planning DS birthday party was a little difficult. I've invited a few of my old co-workers who have kids though, so it should work out ok.

thejenni · February 2009

I hate how people think they can call me at the last minute and think I can just call a babysitter to go out. And the ones that tell us to just bring her along but want to meet a 8? We are getting her ready for bed! They wont understand untill they too have kids.

This is why i spend so much time on here.... I feel it's the best place to talk to people who are at the same point in life as me and understand what im going thru!

WestCoastMommy · February 2009

You just described DH and my life! We are in that same situation. Ive lost contact with a lot of friends and when they call it's at 7pm wanting to know if I'll go to the bar with them. Which is ok but it's not much of a notice and thats all they want to do. It's so frustrating. I so glad our good friends just got pregnant. Im hoping we will have play dates and def a lot more in common now.

sugarcube · February 2009

mrs_harper:

It's also hard being around people when you know they are only there to see your child.

Ditto this.

k8elee03 · February 2009

thejenni:

I hate how people think they can call me at the last minute and think I can just call a babysitter to go out. And the ones that tell us to just bring her along but want to meet a 8? We are getting her ready for bed! They wont understand untill they too have kids.

This is why i spend so much time on here.... I feel it's the best place to talk to people who are at the same point in life as me and understand what im going thru!

Yup, exactly.

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