Anyone still on? need opinions (long)

MissionImpossible · February 2009

Well, it is 1am here, and Andy and I just had a heart to heart. We are seriously considering waiting one more week before doing another ultrasound. I will still see my OB tomorrow because I have a regular appointment set for b/p check, YI check, weight check etc.

However, my OB is doing these early u/s to put my mind at ease. Frankly, they are doing everything but that. I am 7 weeks and a few days pregnant (no clue on LMP) and have had 5 or 6 transvaginals already. All of them were on track, but the docs always tack on "but you are still very early", which lowers my confidence about the ultrasounds, and raises my anxiety.

There is a part of me that wants to just wait until I am squarely 8.5-10 weeks, so I don't need to worry about things not being quite right because I am "early". It is hard to get an accurate heart rate before 8 weeks, and I know if I just hear "it looks good and fast" tomorrow, that is going to bother me. At this point, I want a heartrate. I have been doing the "it looks good" since the end of week 4. I'd be willing and happy to wait a week for a strong, measurable heart rate.

Normally, the doctor I see does not even do many u/s before 8.5-9 weeks, sometimes 10 weeks. She is open to doing them as frequently as I want (1x/week), all the way down to 1x per month. I am thinking one every 2 weeks would be manageable stress wise for me.

Thoughts? Opinions? Andy and I are going away for 2 days for the first time in years this weekend--the kids are staying with their Godparents--and if I get any "well, you are still early" remarks tomorrow, I know it will affect my mood in a negative way. I know it sounds silly, but all these ultrasounds are not helping my anxiety level, which I know is not a good thing. I would never NOT get a treatment I needed, but these are totally up to my discretion and are supposed to be making me feel better.

I have noticed I am much more positive the days I do not get them. As I get closer, it gets worse, and is not even alleviated by getting the u/s, because there is always this "you are still early" bubble hanging in the air.

Any opinions either way welcomed. I am thrilled to have a docor who is so open to my needs, but she is also well aware these frequent u/s are now not helping my anxiety level, and she is very open to adjusting my care as there is no real medical need for this many ultrasounds. TIA, much love, Jill

marinabride · February 2009

I am still here. I think if you feel these u/s cause you extra anxiety and since the embryo would not be able to be saved at this point if a negative result was discovered (loudly knocking on wood), I would skip the u/s. I am glad you have a dr that wants to work for you. Make sure you communicate what you want to her. Try not to focus on comments - especially that one. Their comments won't change your outcome - whatever will be will be at this point. And often those types of comments are said so the parent will not get false hope. Those of us who have had m/c have a stronger attachment to the reality that even though something is good today, it may not be good tomorrow. However, health care professionals are in the habit of trying to keep their patients routed in reality. That being said, try to let those comments roll off your back. You know that reality, you have lived it and those comments are for others. I had a u/s at 13 weeks and the tech told us it was a boy and we saw the penis clearly. As I was getting dressed and both my DH and I were happy, she chimed in "well don't paint the baby's room blue yet." Here was a clear result and yet due to the early detection, she felt compelled to throw in her comment. However, I knew that even though I was pretty sure I saw the penis and it is harder to mistake a boy for a girl than the reverse, I wasn't going to go tell my family yet or paint the baby's room until we had a later diagnosis. I celebrated still and breathed a sigh of relief when it was confirmed later. Not an exact parallel but do you get my drift? Each u/s makes you face how the baby how the baby is doing. Your anxiety is totally normal (which I know you know). I always took comfort in that I didn't have much control over whether it survived or not early on because none of my negative thoughts, worries, etc could jinx me. Right now, it is what it is. And all this being said - I hope you aren't up still and are resting (but if you aren't, I will be ehre for a bit) and I hope all is going well and that you can find some comfort and hope during this pregnancy. (hey I didn't cut the tags off even the stuffed animals I received until DS was born - as if I was going to go return stuffed animals - but it was a weird way of protecting my heart still even though the room was painted and all was ready.) I know I am rambling but just know that we are all here for you and will hold your hand this whole pg. I am so excited you are pg!

Dontblink · February 2009

I totally understand your thinking but I know personally I would not be able to wait if I could have an u/s. I just don't have that willpower. I am also confused because my RE always said at 7weeks you should have a strong, measurable heartbeat. I was told at exactly 6weeks we had a 50/50 shot of seeing/hearing the hb. Luckily, we did and it was 120. They said a week later it would definitely be in measurable range. GL with you decision. I will pray things go well. Enjoy your weekend. You deserve it! Just remember if you do have it done...you want them to detect cardiac activity...as soon as that is done I was always able to relax without focusing so much on the actual numbers. I think that is part of our problem in general..we know too much and obsess over numbers all the time!!!

rowanthefrog · February 2009

Jill,

You are a smart woman and you know what is best for you - you have fought for your health and healthcare for years. If you think these u/s are doing more harm than good to your psyche than for goodness sakes, stop getting them.

Is that what you needed to hear?

A

FredsNey · February 2009

I know for me, early u/s aren't very reassuring for the reasons you mentioned. My doctor usually doesn't do them until 9-10 weeks but I had two earlier than that for bleeding/spotting and they didn't really help with my anxiety and in some ways made it worse. Do what you feel would be best for you and your head--I know if it was me I would probably want to space them out a little more. Good luck and hugs.

kelly&marty · February 2009

Do whatever makes you the most comfortable. But I don't want to see you on here tomorrow freaking out because you lost a symptom or feel different and have to wait another 2 weeks for an u/s! So, I guess my question back to you is: are the u/s what is causing you anxiety, really? Or do you think you're going to have the anxiety no matter what, just because this is the first time you've gone this far and you're waiting for something bad to happen because your mind is more prepared for that than for good?

You are still early. You are still early does not = something bad is going to happen. It is simply a fact. You cannot let those words freak you out. And ditto pp who said at this stage all you want to see is heart activity, numbers don't matter. The numbers change so much in the first trimester, you can't focus on them anyway.

So I guess what I'm saying is, it doesn't matter if you get the u/s or not. Today you are pregnant and you love your baby. You are pregnant until a doctor tells you that you aren't. So really it's just about managing your anxiety. Because you are going to have it regardless, it's just all in how you manage it....cognitive therapy perhaps....put a rubberband on your wrist and snap it every time you have negative thoughts. So really think about the cause of your anxiety, and if you think it's the u/s, then skip it. If there is the chance that you need to see that heart again for reassurance, then have it. That's a personal choice, for me, I felt better with every u/s and heartbeat. But not everyone is reassured by that. Hang in there! And have fun on your 2 days alone w/DH!

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Anyone still on? need opinions (long)

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