Coworker Issue WWYD?

JRsquared · February 2009

I have a Coworker that has a problem with me. I'm not sure why, she just always has been very rude to me, talked behind my back (I've caught her) etc. Lately she has been worse and has made rude comments very loudly in front of our coworkers, questioning my work ( not her job, she is the same level as me). I feel almost like she is harrassing me. I've held off on going to my boss because she is friendly with her. They are close and I'm afraid that either nothing would get done or that my boss would tell her in such a way that it would only make my coworker single me out even more. Basically I feel stuck because I do want to voice my concerns about her unprofessionalism ( she's been complained about recently by several other area's for the same thing). I certainly don't want to say anything to her as I'm afraid it would start trouble.

Any suggestions on how I should handle this? It has gotten to the point where I hate going to work. during my pregnancy I would practically have panic attacks it was so bad.

sambama · February 2009

I would document everything she does. And you need to politely call her out on it, if you overhear her, ask her if you can help her? If you hear she's saying something about you, go up to her and ask her why she is concerned.

CreamPuff06 · February 2009

If you don't feel that your boss can handle this professionally then you need to go to HR and have them deal with it.

ameliasmom · February 2009

Even though your boss is friendly with her, you need to go to your boss. She will have to look into it escpecially since others have complained as well. To cover your own butt, do it in an email so that if it gets worse (as you suspect it could) you have something to prove that you talked to your boss in case she is not doing her job!

the_mulva · February 2009

Honestly, I would make reporting it your very last move. Our office employs supports staff. My biggest complaint is that they are constantly bickering that one doesn't like the other and this one did that to the other. It is infuriating. These are grown women and it feels like we are running an elementary school. In my opinion, they are adults and they need to do their jobs and work the personal issues out amongst themselves.

Do you job. Do it well. Ignore all the other BS.

JRsquared · February 2009

Thanks for the input ladies, I guess I'm just not a very confrontational person but I really do have to deal with this. Next time she does or says something I'm just going to ask her to not talk to me like that or ask her if I can help her with something ( depending on what she is doing). Then I'll take it from there. if it continues I will go to our boss. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my stomach knot up.

Toosdai · February 2009

You should definitely go to HR, that is what they are there for! GL.

LondonBlue · February 2009

sambama:
I would document everything she does. And you need to politely call her out on it, if you overhear her, ask her if you can help her? If you hear she's saying something about you, go up to her and ask her why she is concerned.

ditto on all of this advice!! be polite and professional every time you talk to her though.

after you have several weeks worth of documented incidents and the names of others involved (people that heard her say bad things about you to corroborate your story) then I'd take it to your HR rep or the boss and then mention the panic attacks during your pregnancy and how much you dislike coming to work because of this person. it becomes a harassment issue if this behavior affects your work or your health.

vanillacourage · February 2009

I would first ask her in private if there is anything going on, because you've noticed that she is not as friendly with you as she is with other people in the office. Don't be all "why are you such a b!tch?!" but make it clear that this is the time for her to air her grievances.

If she doesn't and the behavior continues, then I would go to your boss BUT I would do it in-person to make it clear this isn't just dumb infighting. Later that day email your boss to thank them for their time meeting with you and sum up the points you agreed on. This will serve as your documentation.

If your boss doesn't do something about it, you may need to go up the food chain if it is really impacting your ability to do your job. If she's just a sucky person and it doesn't infringe on doing your job, I'd just ignore her and keep your head down because this sort of thing can blow up and you want to be sure you're picking your hill to die on.

JRsquared · February 2009

Mulva- this is one of the reasons why I haven't gone to my boss (aside from her being friendly with my coworker). But this issue has been going on for 3 years...that's a long time. I've been looking for a new job but no luck yet

franciscaz · February 2009

If it were me I would document everything, but leave it be for now. If she is friends w/your boss it is doubtful you would ever come on top with this. Sorry for a sucky situation.

C Bear E · February 2009

I agree with the other posters who said document everything! Make print outs and keep them somewhere safe.?

I had a similar situation.?I ended up talking to my boss about it after my coworker screamed at me one day at work (literally yelled at the top of her lungs in anger). He even saw it and still did nothing. I ended up quitting that job.?

I hope your boss is more proactive and if not, go above her head (I couldn't since my boss owned the place).?

the_mulva · February 2009

god, that sounds like it really sucks. I hope it gets better.

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