Pregnant after a Loss

I don't think I will ever feel "safe"

I have had 5 losses last year.  Right now, I am further along than 4 of them.

I know I have to take it one day at a time, but a part of me feels like I will continue to think about m/c until the baby is born,

Am I the only one that thinks this way?  I know once I get past my pg that lasted the longest, I might breathe a little sigh of relief, but just barely.

Every tiny symptom that goes away makes me think the worst.

When did you guys feel safe?

Re: I don't think I will ever feel "safe"

  • Wow!  Did I miss something?  I don't think I knew you wer pregnant!  Congrats!!!  I know I did feel "safer" after I passed the milestones during my m/c.  But I'm still nervous that something will be wrong with baby at my big u/s on wed or something will happen afterwards or during birth or something.  Honestly, I think i know too much now to ever feel 100% safe.
    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


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  • I understand...I've had three losses and I'm the same way.  Every little twinge in my belly makes me nervous.  I don't think I'll relax until the baby is here!  I just keep praying and thanking God for each day. 
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  • I feel a bit better now to be (almost) in the second tri with a great NT scan.  I won't really ever feel totally safe though.
  • I still wouldn't say that I feel safe, but I definitely feel more confident as the days go by.  Passing the little milestones really help.
  • I sure don't feel safe yet, and I don't know if passing the 10 week mark will make me feel better. I feel like I'm having the same pregnancy all over cause I'm bleeding like I did the last time. I think if I ever do stop bleeding, it might make me be more optomistic...but who knows.
  • I completely understand--my 5 losses were between Sept 07 and Dec 08. ?It feels like holding your breath and constantly waiting for something to go wrong. ?I'm hoping once we can feel the little ones moving around, we'll feel more confident. ?But I do feel that I won't feel completely safe until baby is safe on the outside. ?

    I've been thinking of you!?

  • I have my good and bad days! But every milestone makes me breath a sigh of relief. I think the thought of m/c is in the back of my mind every day and sometimes it worries me but I would say after about 3 months I started to feel much "safer". Even when you start to feel movement you'll worry on your "slower" days. You get use to a routine and some days (at least my bugger) is totally off. But it is so reassuring!!! Have you considered a doppler to help ease your mind???

    I'll be thinking of you!! And if I did not say it before H&H 9 months!!

    ~Jess & Mike May 12, 2007
    12.6.07 CP at 5w
    5.21.08 BO discovered at 7w, D&E at 8w3d
    8.31.08 CP at 4w5d
    BFP Sept 25, 2008 bfp buddy lkstor Landon born June 6, 2009
    3.25.11 missed m/c discovered at 9w6d, D&E at 10w2d
    4.28.11 MTHFR a1298c homozygous discovered
    4.2011 Began NaProTechnology
    10.12.11 Diagnosed with Type III Luteal Phase Defect
    10.2011 Starting hcg injections on 5, 7 & 9 dpo
    BFP 12.7.11 - EDD 8.14.12 - IT'S A BOY! Fruit Baby
    Life During and After RPL
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  • Being one the women who has suffered a lose after the first trimester, I don't think I will EVER feel safe.  I focusing on my mantras - today I am pregnant and my past does not indicate my future and keepting take each day - day by day.  But it is really hard and probably will be until this baby is crying in the delivery room.  I sure hope we get to that day.
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  • I'm sorry for your losses.

    I hate to say it, but I never feel safe... even when I have her in my arms I won't feel totally 100% safe... I know this from having my DS, and I didn't even have any problems with the PG with him (he was my first PG).

  • I think I will feel safe when I'm holding my baby in my arms. All we can do is take it one day at a time!

     

  • I worry every day.. I haven't let myself get excited.  I've only had one loss but it totally shook my confidence.  I'm not going to be pessimistic, but I definitely am not letting myself get excited or feel safe- perhaps after 20 weeks or so.
  • This is the farthest I have gotten, but I still don't feel safe.  I've just recently gotten to the point where I even want to make baby related purchases which is a big step for me.
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