Help me sleep - please don't flame

adamwife · February 2009

So the only way my child will sleep at night is if I am holding him or he is right next to me. I have tried everything people - swing, carseat, bouncy, bassinet, cradle, you name it. If I don't let him lay on my chest or next to me he will literally stay up fussing all night long.

Now I'm not opposed to cosleeping once a baby is a little bigger, but it feels really unsafe to me at this age. On the other hand, I don't know what else to do - I have to get sleep.

Anyone have experience with this? What did you do?

Crazycrustacean · February 2009

We used a positioner & let her sleep on her side. Worked like a charm for us. She also has reflux and hates sleeping on her back.

Crazycrustacean · February 2009

I should add that we started that at about a week old.?

PMJacobsen · February 2009

cosleep honey, the reason he is like that is bc he really needs you right now. he is used to that warm cozy env't inside and being in a crib alone is lonely! cosleeping done safely is perfectly safe. you will both sleep much better, i promise! and during the day, you should try baby wearing. Dr. Sears says that if a baby is "worn" for a few hours during the day, they will almost always sleep better at night bc their need for touch has been met so fully. HTH!

sunnygyrl · February 2009

At that age, DD was the exact same! I am not a fan of co-sleeping either. We had to let her sleep on our chest for a good few days and when she was sound asleep we would move her to her bouncy. Sometimes, you just have to let your opinions go to the wayside and do what you have to do. Good luck and it is great to see you on this side of the board.

Alli3586 · February 2009

Did you try swaddling?

sara1817 · February 2009

I slept with the baby in bed until she was 3 months. That was exactly how Dd was and I felt the same way. She's transitioned back to sleeping on her own now.

PhilsWife07 · February 2009

We were in the exact same boat when our son was born. I think we wrestled with getting him to sleep in his co-sleeper the first night and then put him in the bed with us the next night. That's where he stayed until he was about 3 months old. You do what you have to do.

mlf625 · February 2009

Well, if you don't feel safe, you definitely don't want to be co-sleeping. ?It needs to be something everyone in the bed is comfortable with and wanting to do. ?Have you been swaddling him? ?The SwaddleMe blanket was a lifesaver when DS was smaller.

And that said, your baby is very young yet! ?DS was the same way the first month or so- ?he didn't like to sleep unless he was on or beside us. ?We ended up co-sleeping more nights than not, though that had never been our plan. ?We both liked having him there and when he was about a month, he was suddenly okay with sleeping in his pack n' play beside the bed. ?So if you're just feeling like co-sleeping is "wrong"- it's not if it's done correctly.

Mrs.BLG · February 2009

In the Baby Whisper it suggests that you put them down and pick them up when they cry. Then put them back down when they calm down. Repeat as necessary. However, I don't know if it will work with such a young baby. We did it at 2 months with no problems.

I have no idea what else to tell you! Sorry!

Judah'sMommy · February 2009

This was my experience exactly. My DS wouldn't even sleep in the plastic crib while we were in the hospital. He wanted no part of his bassinet so he slept on or near me from Day 1. We co-slept until 2 months when he was ready to sleep in his crib. It was the only way that we could get any sleep at all. Your baby is so young, it's no wonder he wants to be close to mommy since he probably can't understand why he isn't still IN mommy. My advice would be to let him sleep on you but only in bed. That is much safer than on a couch or in a chair. GL!

adamwife · February 2009

You guys are making me feel so much better. Everyone I know IRL keeps telling me what a bad idea it is to let him sleep next to me because I might roll over on him.

I've tried swaddling and he hates it. I tried a paci and he hates that too. Such a picky baby - way different than my older son.

I will try wearing him in a sling today while I do things around the house.

Thanks again for the advice ladies.

tiffyr0se · February 2009

For the first couple of weeks we swaddled him and put him in a sleep positioner with his head under the pillow so he would feel something all around him. We also had white noise.

Also, try having someone else put him down. I noticed in the hospital that the nurses could put him in the bassinet and he'd be happy, but I couldn't. So maybe if your H puts him in?

LaLO929 · February 2009

Alli3586:
Did you try swaddling?

This...

Swaddling was our lifesaver!

MarlaDossett · February 2009

I don't know too much about it, but there's this contraption that looks like a big sleep positioner that can be used for co-sleeping. I saw it at Target. I'm not really sure what it's called, but I saw it on the same aisle as the baby bath tubs and such. It might be worth looking into if you're exhausted and are thinking about cosleeping but are really worried.

candreco · February 2009

LaLO929:
Alli3586:

Did you try swaddling?

This...

Swaddling was our lifesaver!

Ours too... we almost gave t up because DD would fight it every time, but once she's in, she calms immediately and we're all happier.

sunnygyrl · February 2009

A couple last tips if you don't want him on your chest:

swaddle him when he is drowsy - he is much less likely to fight it and will eventually like it. DD was this exact way. She also hates her pasi. Try the 5 S's with HBOTB once he is nice is drowsy.

Purchase a snugglenest. It is not a co-sleeper, but a sleep positioner that you can put him on his side. It has hard sides where his head would go and you can put him in that for now. That way you will be less likely to roll over onto him. We used this with DD at 5 weeks when we transitioned her to a crib. hugs and good luck!

MrsL.inMarch · February 2009

Boppy Newborn Lounger is the only way we got any sleep the first two weeks. Ya ya ya, you aren't suppose to let them sleep it in, but we were right next to him and he survived. He still naps in it now but he'll shortly be too big for it.

Smittenkitten05 · February 2009

I saw this product the other day that I thought would be great for young infants. When DS was that age, I really wanted something like this that would hold him close and keep him comforted so I could sleep by myself (I had nightmares about rolling over on him and smothering him) but I didn't know it existed. If I ever have another baby, I'm definitely buying this:

https://www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=cPath=3_14

What we did end up doing was buying a small bassinet, since he didn't like sleeping in his crib (which must have seemed like a vast, cold space to him). GL!

Echowysp · February 2009

We coslept at that age. As long as you do it safely, there's no problem. Put him in a sleep sack and lay him on top of the comforter, next to you, not in between you and dh.

Sunny1inTucson · February 2009

We used a First Year Close and Secure Sleeper. https://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Close-Secure-Sleeper/dp/B00012CHFI/ref=pd_cp_ba_1?pf_rd_p=413863701&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0011VZU6Q&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=06KQF8P5613B12N2Z8DK

This way baby can be right next to you, but there is a separation so you're less likely to roll over baby. We love it!

MrsHeidiR · February 2009

I just moved DS to his bassinet last week. We co-slept, snuggled close for the first few weeks. Then slowly I would move him more to the middle of the bed so he wasn't right up against me. Once he was used to sleeping without being right up next to me, I moved him to the bassinet. Each transition took some extra effort, but now he will lay down in his bassinet and go to sleep on his own.

Marie Tourville · February 2009

Both of our kids slept next to me from day one. I sleep on my side and they slept in the crook of my arm.

adamwife · February 2009

Thanks ladies. These are wonderful suggestions.

robertsgrl · February 2009

There's a reason why Pediatricians say Co-sleeping and sleep positioners are dangerous. They are both associated with an increased risk of SIDS. So, I'd recommend strongly against both. We got a Kiddopotamus swaddle me from BRU and it was a life-saver. I would swaddle DS, feed him, them let him fall asleep on me. When he was in a good deep sleep, I'd slowly carefully carry him to his crib and put him down. Most of the times it would work and he wouldn't wake up. Now that he's a little older, I swaddle him, feed him, and just put him straight in his crib.

If this doesn't work for you and you are going to consider co-sleeping, please read about it to make sure you do it as safely as possible. For instance, you want a firm mattress, push the pillows off the bed, pull the comforter back, sleep just with the sheets or a thin blanket. Never co-sleep if you've been drinking or are such a deep sleeper that you won't wake up if DC is crying or in distress. Good luck either way!

WhiteOrchid. · February 2009

robertsgrl:
There's a reason why Pediatricians say Co-sleeping and sleep positioners are dangerous. They are both associated with an increased risk of SIDS. So, I'd recommend strongly against both. We got a Kiddopotamus swaddle me from BRU and it was a life-saver. I would swaddle DS, feed him, them let him fall asleep on me. When he was in a good deep sleep, I'd slowly carefully carry him to his crib and put him down. Most of the times it would work and he wouldn't wake up. Now that he's a little older, I swaddle him, feed him, and just put him straight in his crib.
If this doesn't work for you and you are going to consider co-sleeping, please read about it to make sure you do it as safely as possible. For instance, you want a firm mattress, push the pillows off the bed, pull the comforter back, sleep just with the sheets or a thin blanket. Never co-sleep if you've been drinking or are such a deep sleeper that you won't wake up if DC is crying or in distress. Good luck either way!

God do I hate incorrect info on co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is actually safer than leaving a baby to sleep in a crib. I have done tons of research on this after my nephew died of SIDS. Co-sleeping does NOT increase the risk of a SIDS death!!!!!!!!!!! Please do not spread that info around! Co-sleeping DECREASES the risk of SIDS.

Echowysp · February 2009

robertsgrl:
There's a reason why Pediatricians say Co-sleeping and sleep positioners are dangerous. They are both associated with an increased risk of SIDS. So, I'd recommend strongly against both. We got a Kiddopotamus swaddle me from BRU and it was a life-saver. I would swaddle DS, feed him, them let him fall asleep on me. When he was in a good deep sleep, I'd slowly carefully carry him to his crib and put him down. Most of the times it would work and he wouldn't wake up. Now that he's a little older, I swaddle him, feed him, and just put him straight in his crib.
If this doesn't work for you and you are going to consider co-sleeping, please read about it to make sure you do it as safely as possible. For instance, you want a firm mattress, push the pillows off the bed, pull the comforter back, sleep just with the sheets or a thin blanket. Never co-sleep if you've been drinking or are such a deep sleeper that you won't wake up if DC is crying or in distress. Good luck either way!

Actually, cosleeping is a way to REDUCE sids. It regulates the baby's temp and breathing.

Just because there's a couple of drunks a year who pass out on their kids and kill them doesn't mean that people haven't been successfully cosleeping with their kids for millenniums.

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